Pain Fetish Extra 11

Qi Chuan was a man who was both complex and contradictory.

Qi Han felt that he was indifferent, because since returning home and meeting his lover again, there was no extra emotion on his face, and even guilt seemed to be superficial only.

Chen Xing felt that he was ruthless. That sentence of ‘being a star for a fool’ was stuck in his heart like a blunt knife and couldn’t be removed for years.

However, only Fu Ge, who had been through the same experience, knew that he had just broken down too many times, like a bottle that had been broken into pieces and reassembled. Every piece was barely held together by poor quality glue, so every trace of emotion was restrained, as if the slightest surge would break him again.

No one knew how much pain was hidden under his peaceful and indifferent appearance, and no one knew how he relied on Chen Xing to survive the ten years of life worse than death.

A few years later, after completely losing Chen Xing, what could he rely on to survive every day?

After being hurt too many times, his heart and soul became numb. How could one expect such a person to have strong and vivid feelings?

Being able to live day by day was already the result of struggling hard.

As Fu Ge said, maybe he himself didn’t remember how he came to be like this over the years.

When he was a child, Qi Chuan played the piano very well. Later, when he went to the countryside, he always hid at home and played with a small electronic piano. The little Chen Xing was his only audience.

The boy was shy to say anything about his dreams that were too noble and elegant, but he had fantasised countless times in the dead of night: will I be able to sit in the Golden Hall in the future and play the piano?

Later, his hands were broken, and he didn’t dare to think about it anymore.

When he was at the university, Qi Chuan liked photography, but this kind of liking was limited to reading about it in books and on the Internet. He went to every lecture of the photography club, but never touched the camera. His classmates thought he couldn’t afford it, but in fact he just didn’t dare.

Even the first lens in his life was bought for Chen Xing.

He saved up for two months to buy the best one. When he handed it to his little boyfriend, he said, ”It’s rare to have a dream, don’t let it go.”

Because he knew that his dream would never come true, he wanted to do his best to protect his lover’s dream.

Life was precarious; even his life and death were in someone else’s hands. He didn’t dare to pursue anything he liked, he had no qualifications for that, let alone courage.

The only time Qi Chuan had lived for himself in these nearly thirty years was when he was with Chen Xing. But he couldn’t protect the little fool, and in just three months, he bullied him into jumping into the moat to be done with it.

How could he dare to fight for anything?

He could only open himself up and allow those close to him to take anything from him without having to give anything back.

The day he was completely emptied would be the day of true liberation.

He was already dying when he was dragged out from under the dog’s teeth, but his senses were still sharp and he knew that Wang Yating was capable of anything, so he had to break clean with Chen Xing before he collapsed.

It was the only way to keep the little fool safe.

He knew Chen Xing too well.

He knew how to crush Chen Xing in the shortest possible time, he knew how to dig himself out of Chen Xing’s heart with a single sentence.

That sentence was like an invisible knife, and as he lay in a pool of blood, looking desperately at the sky, he stuck this knife with his own hands, word by word, into Chen Xing’s heart, spilling the blood and cutting the flesh.

Chen Xing was in heartbreaking pain, and Qi Chuan was also exhausted at that moment.

After that, Wang Yating let him go and surrendered herself to the police.

Before she left, she personally bandaged Qi Chuan’s wounds, looked at the boy in front of her who was completely destroyed by her, and burst into tears.

“From beginning to end, you were the most innocent one.”

The desperate woman sat on the ground, recalling her own child that was gone, ”I know I shouldn’t treat a child like this, but I couldn’t get over that hurdle. So consider yourself unlucky in this life. In the next life, I will wait for you to pay back all the debts owed to you.”

Qi Chuan ignored her, half-closing his eyes and coughing up blood. At that moment, he only felt extremely ridiculous. It turned out that in Wang Yating’s eyes, more than ten years of his struggle were easily covered by the word ”unlucky”.

“Let me go…” He dragged his broken leg and crawled away a little bit, ”In the next life, I don’t want to see you…”

The revenge that had lasted for more than ten years finally stopped that day, but Qi Chuan didn’t feel relieved at all, because he had nothing left.


“Grandpa took him abroad and left this sad place,” Fu Ge said. ”In the first year, Qi Chuan was busy treating his traumas and quitting drug addiction. In the second year, his body recovered a bit, and he began to see a psychologist frequently. But no matter how many doctors he saw, they couldn’t cure him, so he simply learned psychology himself.”

Qi Chuan seemed to have become accustomed to self-help a long time ago, because no one had ever extended a helping hand to him in the first half of his life.

With life barely going, Grandpa also needed his care, and there was still a little fool in the country, maybe waiting for him, or maybe not waiting.

Qi Chuan didn’t ask for much and he didn’t wish for much.

He just wanted, more or less, to clean himself up as a human being.

“So is he coming out of it now?” Qi Han asked.

Fu Ge was silent for a moment, then shook his head, ”No one can help him, and he doesn’t care if he is happy or sad.”

Qi Chuan’s personality was inherently indifferent; even when he was with Fu Ge, Grandpa and Ah Jue, he was not very lively, not to mention when he was alone.

Alone, he was in a daze most of the time except for work.

“He has almost no fun activities except to accompany us. He works like a machine. When he is tired, he will drift off and recharge for a while. It is like he’s deliberately avoiding things that are relaxing and happy.”

There was another sentence Fu Ge didn’t say; he always felt that Qi Chuan was punishing himself in this way.

Because he knew how much damage he had caused to Chen Xing, he spent those years being unhappy for him.

“Did he never come back?” Qi Han asked in disbelief, ”Chen Xing kept thinking of him.”

Fu Ge didn’t know either. Qi Chuan only gave him very little description of this part. ”I think he came back, he should have come back.”

So what if you close off your feelings? So what if you don’t ask for forgiveness and don’t want to disturb? People lose control.

And Qi Chuan did secretly return to the country once.

It was the third year after he left; his body barely recovered, and from the outside one couldn’t see that he was different from ordinary people.

Hiding it from his grandfather, he bought a ticket to return home, and rushed to the address given to him by the private investigator as soon as he got off the plane.

At that time, Chen Xing and Qi Han were drinking in celebration, surrounded by men and women who threw their arms around them.

The simple child of the past had grown into a dazzling adult, attracting people like a star, and those people hugged him and kissed his face, feeding him a drink… and Chen Xing sat dashingly in the ambiguous light, blinking his dim eyes and smiling in a suave manner.

At that moment, Qi Chuan knew that he would never have a chance again.

The most frightening thing when you are young is to meet someone who is too stunning, and if you do, you have to cherish this person, because once the damage is done, there is no way to undo it.

The possibility of a reunion only exists in fiction. 

In fact, when Qi Chuan said that sentence, he knew that he was out of the game forever. But he just couldn’t give up, he still held onto the hope of that one-in-a-million chance.

But obviously God had never favoured him.

“Five years… of loving and not being able to do anything but to watch from the shadows.” Qi Han could understand this feeling all too well. ”He is really cruel to himself.”

Fu Ge sniffled: ”What else could he be if not cruel? He didn’t plan to leave too much time for himself from the beginning.”

Qi Han raised his eyes: ”What do you mean? Didn’t he recover from his injuries? Or did it leave sequelae?”

“The sequelae… he refuses to cooperate with the treatment, always works hard and overspends his body. How long can he last if he continues like this?”

Fu Ge always had a feeling that under his calm and gentle appearance, Qi Chuan seemed to be looking forward to his death, as if it was his rightful chance to be relieved.

So when Fu Ge said he wanted to take revenge, Qi Chuan agreed without even thinking about it. It wasn’t that he wanted to use Chen Xing to help his younger brother take revenge, but that he used his younger brother’s revenge to see Chen Xing for the last time.

“Grandpa can’t make him stay any longer, and I can’t make him stay even more. He was walking for too long and he is very tired. We have no right to influence his decision,” Fu Ge said. ”Although it is despicable to say this, I must admit that I have my own selfish thoughts.” He buried his face in the nook of Qi Han’s shoulder, his voice very small. ”This time, maybe only Chen Xing can make him stay.”


The phone had been hung up a long time ago, and Chen Xing didn’t hear the rest.

He took off a roll of gauze, hurriedly wrapped it around the wound in his palm, and went out holding the key.

Qi Han had left him a driver downstairs. Brother Han was always considerate in this regard. Chen Xing staggered to the side of the car. His hands were too slippery and everything in front of his eyes was too foggy. He grabbed the handle three times but couldn’t open it and finally lost control and punched the car door.

“It’s so fucking…”

He slumped in front of the car door, not knowing whether to cry or laugh, his left hand clutching his hair. The white powder of the hallucinogens mixed with his blood into a dirty mass. Blue veins on his forehead bulged violently, blood vessels dilating in his red eyes.

The Alpha’s pheromones were suffocating for the driver in the car. He got out of the car in a panic to check the Alpha’s condition, but after helping the man up, he saw Chen Xing raise his eyes blankly, tears streaming down his face.

Before that, the driver had never thought that this prodigal son could look desperate like this.

“Sir, are you… going to the hospital or where?” The driver asked cautiously.

Chen Xing was in a daze for several seconds before reporting the destination. He looked at the stars outside the window and thought: If only there was really a time-travelling magic, how great it would be.

He wanted to go back in time and snatch Qi Dabao away.

The rain became heavier and heaving, crackling overhead, and the wet wind slashed his face like a sharp knife. 

Chen Xing’s eyes were blank as he stared at the tunnel ahead like a walking dead.

In the blink of an eye, the tunnel opened its bloody mouth and swallowed him into it.

A lot of pictures flashed in front of his dim eyes—

The seven-year-old Qi Dabao chased and beaten by thugs in his own home; the teenage Qi Chuan locked up at home and sprayed with pepper spray; the university student Qi Chuan often awakened by a nightmare in the middle of the night; and Qi Chuan who was drugged and left to be torn apart by the dogs on the other end of the phone that cold and windy night…

They were obviously so close at the time, but he couldn’t save him.

Until he got out of the car and walked to the door of the house, those pictures were still tumbling and rolling through Chen Xing’s head. He took more than a dozen deep breaths before he dared to open the door and enter.

It looked like such a small door on the outside, but he didn’t expect that the space inside was huge, fully furnished and decorated very warmly.

When he raised his foot to step in, there was noise in his ears, chaotic and deafening. Chen Xing didn’t care, walking straight into the innermost room.

After the small corridor, he reached the living room and looked up at the big screen in the middle.

With just one glance, he froze on the spot.

Like an unbalanced buoy, his heart sank to the bottom of the sea.

What was being played was a video of them when they were children. The only one, recorded by the nanny, had a total of seven minutes and forty seconds, and it was put on the loop, starting again as soon as it ended.

It was so natural as if the process had been repeated a thousand times.

And Qi Chuan was sitting on the cold floor in front of the screen, wearing a thin robe, holding a cigarette in his right hand resting on his bent leg and a nearly finished beer in his left hand.

He took the last sip from the can and squeezed it flat, and took a new can from the floor.

It was raining heavily, the temperature was no more than ten degrees, the cold floor, cold beer, cigarette butts filling the ashtray, and the love of his life who would never return to him… This seemed to be his only happiness in five years, but anyone who watched this scene couldn’t see any enjoyment at all. Qi Chuan was simply abusing himself.

With a click, the beer can was opened, and Chen Xing’s heart trembled as he subconsciously sucked in a breath of cool air.

At the same time, the man who was sitting paralysed in the living room paused, moved sluggishly and turned his head to check the source of the sound.

The moment their eyes met, their breathing stagnated.

Qi Chuan saw the blood on Chen Xing’s hands, and Chen Xing saw the scars on Qi Chuan’s legs.

The scars were hideous and messy, as if a big ragdoll had been ripped apart and sewn back together, spreading all the way over his legs to the hem of the bathrobe.

Chen Xing didn’t dare to think about how many of them were hidden by the bathrobe. He only knew that he had just let Qi Chuan drag his legs out of his apartment like that.

Without warning, he raised his hand and slapped himself fiercely, so hard that the slapping sound drowned the sound of the video, splitting the corner of his mouth.

“Xiao Xing!”

Startled, Qi Chuan was about to run over. He started moving, but he had been sitting for a long time and had no strength to get up. He fell face first before he could even take a step.

So wretched, so embarrassed…

Chen Xing closed his eyes in pain, and two lines of tears suddenly slipped down from the corners of his eyes.

A man who used to be so proud and gentle, with the one-in-a-thousand 3S level pheromones, now even his normal actions were restricted.

Qi Chuan was obviously used to this. He slowly propped up his body holding onto the sofa, and waited for his legs to regain strength before straightening up.

He looked at Chen Xing and instantly understood.

“Did… Xiao Ge tell you?” He asked.

Chen Xing couldn’t speak, his tears rolling down like rain.

Qi Chuan lowered his eyes and was silent for a long time, then passed by him, walked to the outer room and said, ”I’m going to get the medical kit.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, his wrist was clenched forcefully, and Chen Xing pulled him back and slammed him on the sofa, ”Fuck your medical kit! Fuck your uncle! Do you want me to die? You want me to die, don’t you?!”

Grabbing the collar of his shirt and lifting him up violently, Chen Xing lunged at him and suddenly slumped against him as if losing all his strength, nose to nose, forehead to forehead. He choked and cried, his tears slipping into Qi Chuan’s mouth, burning like pepper spray.

“Brother… brother! It… it hurts to death…”

He clutched the sofa and cried, sobbing, like a mud bodhisattva about to melt, begging for help: ”Save me… help me… I can’t stand it anymore… it hurts too much…”

Qi Chuan’s heart seemed to be pressed into the bed of nails, pierced and torn. Chen Xing cried and hugged him, his voice vicious and pitiful like a scream of a small beast.

“How could she do that… how dared she do that to you! I want to kill her, I must kill her! I won’t even spare her ghost! How could she… why should she… I hate her to death…”

This Alpha, scarred and bruised, was the star Chen Xing had been waiting for for many years, the only brother who didn’t treat him like a fool, his only playmate in his darkest childhood, his lover who had hurt him three times but with whom he was still unwilling to part…

Chen Xing couldn’t even remember how much he loved Qi Chuan, because when he thought of that face, that name and those secrets, it hurt to the point where his chest cavity trembled and a knife seemed to be twisted in his heart.

“I cherish you so much… I love you so much… but she ruined you like this… Why didn’t you tell me… You obviously had so many opportunities to tell me… why didn’t you just tell me…”

Qi Chuan sighed and pressed him tightly to the nook of his shoulder, ”Because if I told you, you would be like this. Your life is very good now, I don’t want you to be wronged, nor do I want you to suffer.”

“Very good, my ass! You’re so fucking self-righteous!”

Chen Xing was angry, full of hatred and in pain, and his whole body was about to be torn apart by these emotions. He clenched Qi Chuan’s collar and raised his fist viciously, but before his fist landed, his tears fell first.

Qi Chuan didn’t want to dodge at all, he just looked helplessly at the fool who was so mad with him, and raised his hand to wipe away the tears from the corners of his eyes.

“Silly or not, hitting someone with tears in your eyes, who do you expect to be afraid of you?”

As soon as these words came out, Chen Xing’s tears became even more raging, as if the dam was broken. He couldn’t stand Qi Chuan coaxing him in such a tone.




“Hmm… what’s the matter?”

Chen Xing closed his eyes and rubbed against the tip of his nose, choking and panting: ”Call me, call me, you know what I want to hear, please already…”

Frowning helplessly for a while, Qi Chuan finally turned his head and kissed his ear, and the word he whispered was full of gentleness and affection: ”Kid.”

Another inch of the nook of his shoulder was wet, and Chen Xing trembled as he answered: ”Ugh…”

Qi Chuan called him, and murmured like he had done countless times when he was coaxing Chen Xing to sleep as a child: ”Okay, don’t cry anymore, I don’t hurt anymore, it’s all over, you don’t need to hurt either.”

Chen Xing shook his head and closed his eyes to touch the scars on his chest. He didn’t dare to open his eyes to see. ”Does it hurt when I press like this? Does it get numb?”

“It doesn’t hurt, press more, I’ll tell you if it gets numb.”

Qi Chuan always indulged him, loving and cherishing him naturally. He had done that in those three months in the past and still did it now, five years later.

Chen Xing slowly untied his robe in the dark, the tip of his nose pressed against Qi Chuan’s face, sliding inch by inch, until he was kissing the scars.

Qi Chuan didn’t stop him, and let him do whatever he wanted, to kiss him from the collarbones to the deep wound on his thigh. Chen Xing trembled and sobbed, and then his kisses returned the same way.

His lips felt hot, but his heart was extremely fragile. Chen Xing blinked his swollen eyes and looked at him.

“Aren’t you going to kiss me?”

He thought, I already miss you so much that I’m going crazy.

Qi Chuan chuckled at Chen Xing’s disappointed eyes and suddenly pressed him down. The moment their lips and tongues met, their teeth knocked painfully but neither of them wanted to stop.

They waited for this kiss for too long, too long, so long that they were ready to end their lives in a corner unknown to anyone.

Their mouths full of blood mixed with tears tore at each other inseparably, both their lifeline and their cure.

When Qi Chuan finally let him go, both of Chen Xing’s lips were bitten through, bleeding when he licked them.

It hurt, but it was very satisfying.

He still didn’t want to get up, so he just moved a little to the side to prevent himself from pressing on Qi Chuan again. The two huddled on the sofa, holding hands and innocently saying mindless affectionate words.

As the voice in his ear gradually faded away, Qi Chuan turned his head and saw Chen Xing close his eyes, rest on his arm and slowly fall asleep.

That’s it, he thought, one step at a time.

Had he pushed the kid away again this time, the little fool might have been so angry that he would’ve just swallowed a bottle of hallucinogenic drugs.


Chen Xing didn’t sleep for a long time. He couldn’t rest until he was sure of what was going on, and he only slept for two hours in the end.

When he opened his eyes again, the room was dim, and Qi Chuan was sitting on the sofa and cutting his toenails.


“Don’t move.” Qi Chuan pressed his ankle and said, ”There are only two left to be cut. Did I hurt you?”

“No.” Chen Xing, half-awake, yawned and said, ”Why did you think of doing this?”

“I saw they were a bit long and cut them, otherwise they would chafe.”

Chen Xing didn’t say anything, let him continue, closed his eyes and moved his arms and legs, and found that the injury on his hand was dealt with, his face was clean, and his body was also clean and fresh, as if he just took a shower.

When he thought of this, his nose was sour again. He was so big, how could Qi Chuan carry him?…

“What’s the matter? You’re trembling again.” Qi Chuan was afraid he would cry.

Chen Xing choked a sob, ”Don’t carry me in the future, I can clean myself up. Be careful with your legs.”

Qi Chuan wanted to laugh a little. ”I just can’t sit for too long, it doesn’t affect my normal life. I can carry you no problem.”

Chen Xing didn’t believe it. As soon as Qi Chuan finished, he touched his arms and wrists, and asked in a low voice, ”The piano… can you still play it?”

Qi Chuan said expressionlessly. ”Can’t anymore.”

“What about archery? I remember that there was a very hard bow in the club before, and only you could pull it.”

Qi Chuan smiled, ”I guess it won’t work either. I’m not as good as I used to be. I’m a weak Alpha now, Xiao Chen, do you dislike me?”

“Dislike my ass! I’m looking for a husband, not a migrant worker. What do I need a bull for?”

The man next to him stifled a laugh. When Qi Chuan said that he was not serious, Chen Xing curled his mouth and muttered, ”It’s not that it doesn’t affect normal life. You can’t sit for too long and I can’t sit on your lap when having sex. You used to like to fuck me like that the most.”

“You…” Qi Chuan’s face became a little red; he recalled their flirting in the past and said in his ear: ”Nonsense, as long as it is you, there is no pose I don’t like.”

“That’s me, I’m awesome, I’m flexible, you’re proud of me, right?” Chen Xing hugged him and stretched out his feet to warm them against him. After warming up for a while, he hugged him again, endlessly.

Qi Chuan laughed at him, ”Why do you need so many activities to take a nap? Didn’t you say you were tired a long time ago?”

Chen Xing took a shallow breath, ”Brother, let’s… make a decision. I can’t toss in the future. I’m tired.”

Qi Chuan raised his hand and rubbed the back of his head, his eyes moist, ”From childhood to adulthood, weren’t you always in charge of everything?”

“Then I will be in charge from now on?”

“Yes, you will.”

“Good.” Chen Xing smiled for the first time tonight, ”Then you will follow me from now on, and we’ll live together, steady and solid. I promise you will live your life to the fullest and never suffer again.”

Fuck everyone and their mom, he will kill anyone who tries to steal his man again.

Qi Chuan tilted his head and looked at him, at such a familiar face, so real but so unreal; he brushed his fingers over it, inch by inch tracing it. Until now, he couldn’t believe that Chen Xing had really returned to him.

“Kid, in fact, there is still a secret in this room that I didn’t tell you about.”

Chen Xing raised his eyes lazily: ”A golden house to hide your lover? Okay, then call him out and I will help President Qi appraise the conditions.”

“You don’t have a filter on your mouth.” Qi Chuan smiled and squeezed him, took the remote control at the head of the sofa and pressed the button.

Suddenly, the cold and bright light spilled on his nose and cheeks. Chen Xing raised his eyes in a daze and saw the sky. 

In the darkness above his head, a huge star suddenly lit up, shining bright and majestic.

Qi Chuan lowered his head and kissed him, his lips brushing against his eyelashes. ”Chen Xing is not a fool. Your star has been secretly following you for many years.”


Translator’s note: Well, that’s it. Thanks to my dearest milui for her support that helped me not to feel absolutely lonely.

If you liked this story, please leave a good rating/review on Novelupdates. If you want to thank the translator, you’re welcome to do it on Ko-fi.

Previous / ToC

Pain Fetish Extra 10

There are many side effects of hallucinogens, one of which is that the patient can suddenly faint or have tremors.

Fortunately, Chen Xing knew how much damage it could do to his body, so the frequency of taking drugs was not high, at most once a month, and it had not caused irreversible damage yet.

If he could, Qi Chuan would like to take him to a doctor right now, but Chen Xing’s current state was clearly not suitable.

He was crying too much.

A romantic playboy and the second-in-command of the president of the Chamber of Commerce, Chen Xing hadn’t shed a tear since he graduated from the university, let alone bawling like this, unable to stop.

He trembled very badly, choking and sobbing, so it seemed that he was crying very loudly; but in fact the real sound was very small, like a desperate cry of a young bird about to die, or like a grunt of a little homeless dog being bullied.

Soft, faint, angry, timid, hopeless, aggrieved…

This crying contained too many emotions, suppressed for too many years, kept in an airtight room, just like Chen Xing who locked himself up in an impenetrable shell.

The moment the shell was pierced, it was like a mountain torrent pouring.

But to call it violent would not necessarily be true.

Because to be able to cry bitterly in someone’s arms, you need someone to love you. Obviously Chen Xing didn’t have anyone to love him, so he was careful even when breaking down.

Qi Chuan picked him up, let him sit on his arm, walked to the side of the bed and sat down, pulled the blanket and wrapped him tightly. He had no idea how to comfort the person in his arms.

He had been away from normal emotions for too long, and he had been separated from Chen Xing for too many years. Even seeing him felt like a luxury, and when Chen Xing shrank obediently in his arms, there was a sense of a surreal flashback.

Finally it was Chen Xing who spoke first: ”This is how we used to… go through the rut period, this is how you hugged me… just hugged me…”

It is difficult for Alphas to accompany each other through the rut period. The aggressiveness in their genes will make them judge each other as enemies. What love affairs, there will be no lingering affection, at most they will just hold each other and bite each other, spreading their pheromones on each other, going wild and tossing each other desperately. It hurt, and was depressing but addictive. Chen Xing still didn’t understand what it felt like, but he had been obsessed with it until now.

“If you want, you can do it now…” Qi Chuan kissed the tip of his ear and said, ”You can do anything to me, ask for anything. I will give it to you. I give you this promise and it will be valid until the day I die.”

Chen Xing’s eyes were so red as if the sand was rubbed into them. He could only sob and blink desperately, and his thick eyelashes cast narrow shadows under his eyes.

Qi Chuan looked at him quietly like that. For the first time he thought how there could be someone with even shadows under his eyes looking aggrieved, and every tear hit his heart as if cracking the dry earth.

“Why did you leave without saying goodbye?”

Chen Xing didn’t look up; his eyes were downcast and he asked seemingly calmly, but only he knew what kind of raging and violent fire was underneath this calm.

He was a fool back then, but some things he couldn’t see clearly before could be sorted out now. Qi Chuan was not a person who could play with other people’s feelings, as evidenced by his notoriously upright style of not getting close to strangers.

Chen Xing knew indirectly from Fu Ge that in the past few years abroad, not to mention lovers or a boyfriend or a girlfriend, Qi Chuan had never been even half-close to anyone.

What the housekeeper had said back then about falling in love with him just to avoid the sight of his stepmother could be regarded as an excuse. As for this excuse, Chen Xing didn’t dare to investigate the truth behind the words so far.

Qi Chuan was silent for a long time, and only said four words: ”I couldn’t help it.”

Chen Xing suppressed his anger and said coldly: ”I will only give you this opportunity to explain. If you don’t say it now, I won’t listen to anything in the future.”

Qi Chuan froze for a moment, hesitation and struggle flashing in his eyes, but it was only for one second. He replied: ”You don’t have to give me any more chances. Yes, once some things are done, and some injuries are caused, there is no room for recovery. When I said that five years ago, I knew that.”

Chen Xing gritted his teeth and glared at him, ”So you said that on purpose?”

‘Do you want me to be a star for a fool?’ When Qi Chuan said this, he knew what he was destroying.

Qi Chuan nodded, ”Yes.”

Chen Xing sneered: ”Never thought about explaining to me?”

Qi Chuan said: ”The explanation is futile and will add to your troubles. Now I just want you to be as happy and free as possible, doing what you want.”

“Okay, I’ll do what I want!”

The warmth disappeared in an instant. Chen Xing got up from his lap and pointed to the door, ”Get out of here and never come again.”

Qi Chuan blinked despondently but didn’t try to stay, only asked: ”The day after tomorrow, I will take you to the doctor, okay?”

Bang! The cup smashed against the door, and Chen Xing yelled, ”I told you to get the fuck out!”

At the same time, the door opened from the outside. Qi Han pulled out the key and put it back in his pocket, tilting his head indifferently: “President Qi, please go ahead.”

Who knows how long he had been standing outside the door and how long he had been listening, but he was not surprised to see Chen Xing’s expression.

Qi Chuan glanced at Qi Han, then at Chen Xing, and finally pursed his lips and got up, holding on the bedpost.

He got up very slowly, gingerly like a person with back problems who gets up after squatting for a long time, and his legs were trembling uncontrollably.

Even the steps he took were staggering, and he almost fell when he reached the door.

Both Chen Xing and Qi Han looked at his legs in surprise, with many questions in their eyes, but Qi Chuan didn’t say anything, just held his back very straight and walked out slowly step by step.

Qi Han stood at the door and watched him all the way until his legs slowly regained strength and eased up, before turning and entering the apartment.

“It’s such a mess, don’t stay here, go sleep at my place.”

Chen Xing looked at the debris all over the place and shook his head, ”I’m not going to your house to eat dog food (watch PDA).”

Qi Han gave him a smack, ”Book you a hotel? Or do you want to stay at a bed and breakfast for a change of mood? Do you want me to call you a few pretty little O?”

Chen Xing didn’t want that. There was no need to pretend in front of Qi Han. “Don’t worry, Brother, I haven’t cried enough, come over to lend me a shoulder to lean on for a while.”

“Okay, but I have to call Xiao Ge.” Qi Han said while taking out his mobile phone, ”Married men should keep a distance from all living things.”

“Damn, you’ll die if you don’t show off for a day! How can Xiao Ge stand you!”

Chen Xing was so angry that he rolled his eyes and punched the pillow twice. Qi Han’s phone call had already ended, ”He will come over in a while and bring you some snacks to cushion your stomach.”

Chen Xing’s nose became sour again when he heard it, ”It’s better to have Xiao Ge here. He is more fragrant than you and softer than you. He is like a big marshmallow. I don’t want to lean on you anymore. Can I lean on him?”

Qi Han: ”Can I send you to death?”

Chen Xing: ”Forget it, I didn’t say anything.”

Fu Ge drove over by himself, very fast, and Qi Han went downstairs to pick him up as soon as he arrived.

In Chen Xing’s room, where the two entered hand in hand, the chair was broken and the floor was covered with shattered glass. Qi Han turned in a circle like a dog, afraid that Fu Ge would hurt his feet, and wanted to pick him up immediately.

Chen Xing rolled his eyes in a desperate need of oxygen: ”Fuck you…”

His mood got even worse.

“Okay, don’t tease him.” Fu Ge pinched Qi Han’s ears helplessly, walked over and opened the insulation bucket in his hand. Very considerately, he took the thermometer and put it in Chen Xing’s mouth, ”Your brother Han asked me to take it, he’s afraid you have a fever.”

Chen Xing glared at Qi Han, ”He still has conscience.”

“Brat, if I don’t care about you, who will?”

Fu Ge found a chair to sit down on, looked at the medicine bottles all over the floor and saw Chen Xing’s eyes. His lips twitched, and he wanted to say something several times, but finally didn’t say anything.

It rained outside the window, the rain pattering against the glass. Fu Ge looked a little worried and asked, ”How long has Qi Chuan been gone?”

Chen Xing was silent, and Qi Han replied: ”It’s been almost half an hour.”

Fu Ge bit his lower lip, anxious, got up and called Qi Chuan’s bodyguard: ”Is President Qi with you? Well, go to his apartment to find him. It’s raining, and he’s not in a good mood. Pay more attention to his legs.”

When the last word came out, Chen Xing and Qi Han raised their heads and glanced at each other, ”Is there an old injury to his legs?…”

Fu Ge put down his mobile phone, looked at Chen Xing hesitantly, and smiled after two seconds of deliberation: ”Sorry, Xiao Xing, Qi Chuan said that I am not allowed to reveal a word to you. And… knowing this won’t do you any good.”

Chen Xing smiled bitterly: ”I know, you are his brother, I won’t give you a hard time.”

Fu Ge sighed, raised his hand and rubbed Chen Xing’s head: ”You are also my brother. Ah Han and I will help you.”


The two did not stay in the small apartment much longer.

Chen Xing was not in good spirits. As soon as he returned to China, he tossed around like this. He was also addicted to drugs. His strength was already exhausted and he was yelling that he wanted to sleep.

Qi Han came out holding Fu Ge’s hand and saw a big iron bucket with roasted sweet potatoes on the street. He could smell the sticky sweetness from far away.

The little Beta’s eyes lit up and he froze on the spot, hugging Qi Han’s arm and shaking it. Qi Han put him in the car with an amused smile and nudged the tip of his nose: ”Greedy cat, wait.”

The wind was cold at night, and he was afraid that Fu Ge would freeze, so he made a quick trip and came back in less than five minutes.

The lights were not turned on in the car. After Qi Han sat down, he covered Fu Ge’s eyes first, then turned on the light and waited for Fu Ge to get used to it before taking his hand off.

“Hmm? Where’s the sweet potato?” The little Beta looked around for a while, about to be disappointed. Finally Qi Han teased him enough and pointed, ”In my shirt, covering it for you.”

Fu Ge hummed in a low voice, sneaked his hand in to find his sweet potato and said, ”It’s so warm.”

“Then stay warm, don’t take out your hands, I’ll feed you.”

Qi Han broke the sweet potato apart in the middle  and used a plastic spoon to scoop up a spoonful of soft and sticky inside and feed it to him. Fu Ge ate with a satisfied face, squinting his eyes.

“Is it delicious?”

“Uh uh uh! Of course it’s delicious.”

Qi Han pinched his face: ”It’s delicious, don’t you know how to say something nice and just eat it for nothing? Who bought it for you?”

Fu Ge rolled his eyes, raised his head and kissed Qi Han’s lips, ”Thank you, husband, husband is the best, okay? I’m so impressed.”

Qi Han was pleased with himself, ”The attitude is a little perfunctory, try to be more sincere next time.”

“Okay, okay.”

The sweet potato was small but Fu Ge didn’t finish it either, too full after dinner and having not digested it yet. Qi Han didn’t use a spoon and solved the rest of the potato in two bites.

Once they saw that it wasn’t too late, they weren’t in a hurry to go back. Qi Han hugged Fu Ge who was nestling in his arms bonelessly. 

“Tell me about Qi Chuan?”

Fu Ge was a little surprised: ”Aren’t you annoyed with him?”

Qi Han said: ”One size doesn’t fit all. Chen Xing is my younger brother. I need to know the truth so that I can have a baseline.”

“What’s the baseline?” Fu Ge asked curiously.

Qi Han thought for a while: ”If there’s any point in undoing what he did back then, then I won’t interfere with either of them again, but if he’s just a pure wanker bastard, he won’t get to see Xiao Xing again.”

Fu Ge knew that he was really concerned about this matter. Qi Han didn’t care about many people but once someone in the protection circle he had clearly drawn was touched, he was more protective than anyone else.

Fu Ge was still hesitating, lying on his shoulder and rubbing against it for a while, but finally compromised.

“This is… an old, very old story, so old that Qi Chuan might not remember it himself.”


Although he and Qi Chuan were adoptive brothers, it was impossible for them to be so close just by virtue of their grandfather in the middle. It was purely because they both were patients when they first met, spilling out all the past that they had suppressed and couldn’t vent to each other, telling each other their feelings and sympathising with each other.

“Then pick the things you think are important and start talking about them.”

Fu Ge nodded, adjusted to a comfortable posture in his arms, and suddenly cupped his face and asked, ”Let me ask you, if someone harmed and killed Ah Jue, what would you do?”

Qi Han turned gloomy in an instant: ”No way I’d let this happen.”

“I said if.”

“There’s no possibility of if!” His wife and child were taboo, and Qi Han wouldn’t let anyone hurt them.

Fu Ge shrugged helplessly, ”I’m just assuming that if someone harmed Ah Jue, you would kill that person?”

Qi Han couldn’t argue with him, so he thought for a while: ”Most likely not.”

“You wouldn’t?” Fu Ge obviously didn’t believe him.

“Well, it’s too easy to die. I would make his life worse than death. He would live a long life of a hundred years, and until the last moment of his long life, he would be awake and experience the pain and torture I gave him, so that he would never forget it in his next life.”

Fu Ge knew Qi Han enough to know that he could really do this kind of thing, and was a little startled for a moment: ”If so, you might be able to understand her.”


“Wang Yating, Qi Chuan’s… stepmother.”

Fu Ge recalled some past events that he had only heard of and already felt painful.

“Qi Chuan’s father was very flirtatious and had many lovers. When he was young, he marked two Omega women, and both with lifetime marks. They were Qi Chuan’s mother, You Jia, and his stepmother, Wang Yating.”

Qi Han snorted, his disgust palpable, “Men who are unfaithful to their relationships should all be stuffed in a pig cage and die.” (drowning while locked in a pig cage is the ancient method of punishment for adulterers)

Fu Ge was amused, ”He indeed died. Maybe it was retribution. He lost his health when he was less than forty years old, and he was bedridden for many years, leaving his two wives with their respective children to fight for property with all their might.”

“I can imagine.” Qi Han said. ”Although the Qi family in the past was far inferior to the present, as long as the right to sell medicine was in hand, it was still a big piece of fat meat. Since the two wives were on an equal footing, there was nothing wrong with fighting for property.”

“There was nothing wrong with it, but the bad thing was that You Jia had no sense of measure and killed Wang Yating’s child.”

“What?!” Qi Han was shocked, ”Qi Chuan’s mother killed his stepmother’s child? How old was the child? How could she…”

Fu Ge also lowered his eyes, feeling uncomfortable. Parents with children can’t hear this kind of thing, ”Three or four years old. She was a very beautiful little girl. She was not walking too well at that time, and You Jia designed for her to be bitten to death by a wolf dog, right in front of Wang Yating. At that time… flesh and blood blurred…”

Qi Han sighed, feeling frightened, not daring to imagine what it would be like for a mother to watch her baby daughter being bitten to death by a dog in front of her own eyes.

”With such a thing happening in front of her, nothing she could do would be too much.”

Fu Ge knew that Qi Han had almost guessed it, and his mood was also very complicated: ”Don’t underestimate the power of a desperate mother, Wang Yating was a woman even I find frightening.”

“She didn’t have deep feelings for Qi Chuan’s father. No one can be deeply attached to a cheating husband. Even though her marriage was affected and she was forced to be marked for life, she always left some room for a manoeuvre in her fight for power with You Jia. Because she felt that they both were women deceived in their feelings, she didn’t want to make things too difficult for You Jia, who looked weak and pitiful.”

Qi Han leaned back into the seat, ”But You Jia was much more ruthless than her, thinking that killing her child would be the end of the line for her rival. It was really vicious and stupid. ‘Disaster doesn’t extend to one’s family’ is the most basic rule.”

“Yes. ”Fu Ge nodded, ”Wang Yating completely exploded after the child’s death. It only took two months to send her husband on his way and take the power of the Qi family in her hands. Soon You Jia was tortured to death by her.”

Qi Han guessed that this would probably be the ending. ”Wait, but Chen Xing said that Qi Chuan’s mother was still by his side when he was seven years old.”

“That was the nanny You Jia found. She desperately sent Qi Chuan to the countryside when she realised that things were out of control, leaving only one nanny to take care of him.”

Qi Han sighed a little: ”If she knew how important a child was to a mother, why did she still do that to the little girl?”

Fu Ge didn’t know either, ”Too much time has passed and many details cannot be traced back. Perhaps it was jealousy that blinded her, or perhaps the wolf dog lost control, but either way, the tragedy has been caused.”

“I guess Wang Yating wouldn’t let Qi Chuan go,” Qi Han said.

Fu Ge pursed his lips. ”How could it be so simple? The pain of being cut open alive will not dissipate because the enemy is dead.”

The little Qi Chuan was found after only a few years of stable life in the countryside, and Wang Yating personally came over.

Her own child died tragically torn apart by a dog, but the enemy’s child was able to talk to his playmate carefree. One could imagine what this scene made Wang Yating feel.

It was at that moment that hatred erupted again. 

“The nanny was knocked unconscious on the spot. Wang Yating ordered someone to chase Qi Chuan around the house and beat him as he ran and cried in fear. Wang Yating was watching, laughing and crying. After playing enough, she caught him and took him away.”

Qi Han raised his head and wiped his eyes, not knowing whether to be relieved or sympathetic: ”So when he was seven years old, he didn’t mean to leave without saying goodbye.”

“Well, he couldn’t help it, he never could do anything.”

With her child gone, Wang Yating’s mental state was not normal. The enemy was tortured to death, but there was still the enemy’s son. For her at that time, money and power didn’t matter, and only hatred sustained her living, so she wouldn’t let Qi Chuan be relieved so easily.

“How long has Qi Chuan been tortured by her?” Qi Han asked, punching the car door.

Fu Ge didn’t dare to recall that number, ”Sixteen years, from the age of seven to twenty-three. The things you experienced when you were a child…except for being injected with inhibitors, all the rest was done to him almost every day.”

Qi Han closed his eyes as if electrocuted, and the car was quiet for a long time. He cursed. ”Couldn’t Grandpa save him?”

Fu Ge shook his head: ”At that time, no one could compete with Wang Yating. Grandpa couldn’t even save his own daughter. Even his own life depended on his grandson’s survival.” 

That’s why they came late two years after the disaster that happened to Fu Ge. They really couldn’t even take care of themselves and couldn’t do anything.

“What do you mean? Did Wang Yating use Grandpa to threaten Qi Chuan?”

Fu Ge was evasive. ”How tenacious can a child’s willpower be? Qi Chuan didn’t even know why he was tortured.”

He was still Qi Dabao in the morning that day, and he was still eating “Shrimp and eggs” with the little Chen Xing. In the afternoon, he was locked in a demonic house and pepper spray was poured into his stomach while his body soaked in icy water.

“Every day after the age of seven, life was worse than death for Qi Chuan. It didn’t take long for him to despair, so he ran out and jumped into the river. He tried to hang himself, lay on the tracks, and even buried his face in the dirt. But Wang Yating couldn’t let him go, so she began to threaten him in every way possible.”

The ashes of his mother, the life of his grandfather, Qi Chuan’s hands that loved to play the piano, his face, the only thing about him that remained unscarred…

Qi Chuan was tied by these things and persisted for many years, until these things became useless too, until his world was over.

After a complete collapse, Wang Yating was surprised to find the little boy who often appeared in Qi Chuan’s diary. 

She started targeting Chen Xing.

“She used Chen Xing to threaten him, didn’t she?”

Fu Ge pinched his palm; his breathing was so depressed that he was almost suffocating. His eyes were moist, ”In my brother’s life, there are not many people he cared about. His mother, Grandpa, Chen Xing, each of them kept him alive through those dark days, and among them Chen Xing for the longest time…”

From the age of thirteen to the age of eighteen, to the entrance examination, to the university, to going abroad, and to the present, Qi Chuan, who was nearly thirty, was still living because of Chen Xing.

Fu Ge blinked and spoke in Qi Chuan’s defence for the first time tonight: ”So you can say that he is indifferent, cruel, or ruthless, but you cannot say that he doesn’t love Chen Xing.”

Fu Ge looked into Qi Han’s eyes and said word by word: ”Ah Han, you and I both understand this feeling. His life was only briefly happy before he was seven years old. The companionship of that year in the countryside, simple and lovely friendship, was the only comfort in his life.”

“He… it’s impossible for him not to love Chen Xing.”

He recognised him at a glance when they met again at the university, and he even suspected that he was dreaming at that time. He wanted to hug Chen Xing like crazy, coax him and ask him if he had been happy in the past few years, if he remembered the boy who was going to become his star back then.

But what qualifications does a person who can’t even save his own life have to fall in love?

“He was afraid that Chen Xing would be dragged down by him, so he pretended not to know, not to remember, and avoided him, but…”

But Chen Xing loved him too much. His eyes, as innocent as when he was a child, hid the most straightforward and simple longing. He was like a little sun, every day joyfully dangling in front of Qi Chuan.

Even people who have fallen into hell still can’t help hoping for help. Qi Chuan’s mistake was that he didn’t close his heart and agreed to Chen Xing’s confession and was in love with him for three months while he couldn’t even protect himself.

Those three months became the only spring light in his barren life, the light he had stolen. He would never forget it but this light would never be given back to him.

“He thought he had concealed the relationship between the two of them very well, and he had planned for a long, long time, wanting to wait for Chen Xing to graduate and take him and Grandpa to escape abroad.”

It wasn’t until the plan fell through that Qi Chuan knew that even Chen Xing’s presence in the same university was Wang Yating’s arrangement.

The desperate mother had had enough of mental oppression and physical torture. She had had enough of being crazy and inhuman for so many years. 

At the end of the day, she wanted her enemy’s son to know what it was like to lose the love of his life too.

“So what really happened that day?” Qi Han looked at Fu Ge and asked, ”The day Qi Chuan left.”

Fu Ge’s shoulders shook subconsciously, and Qi Han hurriedly hugged him, ”Okay, okay, baby, don’t say it if you don’t want to say it. Let’s stop talking about it.”

The little Beta looked at the mobile phone screen on the passenger’s seat, shook his head, and said in a very small voice: ”Wang Yating’s daughter was killed by a dog, bitten to death…”

Qi Han looked up abruptly, and an unbelievable speculation suddenly floated in his head, ”So… she also let the dog bite Qi Chuan?”

Fu Ge closed his eyes in pain and buried his face in the nook of his shoulder, ”There were many dogs, many, many, there were Tibetan mastiffs and hounds. She gave Qi Chuan addictive medicine, then poured broth on him and locked him in the house with the dogs that had been hungry for five days.”

When Qi Chuan described all this to Fu Ge, his memories were chaotic, his ability to talk collapsed, and the gentle and indifferent man was scared like a child at that moment.

Fu Ge didn’t dare to look at the scars on his legs even now.

“Wang Yating was completely crazy. She even took a slow-acting poison beforehand, and then told Qi Chuan: ‘My daughter was killed by a dog in less than half an hour. As long as you can last for half an hour, I won’t bother Chen Xing anymore, I will let you go, and then turn myself in.”

Qi Han took a deep breath and hugged Fu Ge, who was trembling in his arms, very tightly: ”What if… he couldn’t last?”

The little Beta closed his eyes and said, ”If he called for help, then Chen Xing would replace him and become food for those dogs.”

“Half an hour…” Qi Han murmured.

Too many tragedies can happen in half an hour.

“His arms and legs were bitten, but he didn’t scream.”

He was afraid of Wang Yating’s ruthlessness. He cherished Chen Xing’s innocence and vivacity. He didn’t want his lover to suffer on his behalf. He promised Chen Xing to become his star… to protect him…

The air seemed to freeze; Qi Han’s breathing and heartbeat slowed down, and many pictures related to Qi Chuan flashed in his mind.

His gentle elegance when they first met, the heartache and worry in his eyes when he looked at Fu Ge, his reticence when he was alone, the awkwardness of him staggering when he left just now, his back he hadn’t bent from beginning to end…

That was a man who had fought against fate for many years. Years of torture and pain made him restrained, and countless breakdowns made him cold.

However, if Chen Xing looked closely he would have found that all his emotional output was sluggish and clumsy because he had closed himself off for too long.

“It didn’t take half an hour. Wang Yating let him answer Chen Xing’s call in only fifteen minutes. By that time, my brother already didn’t look like a human being…”

He knew that he was ruined; he was addicted to drugs, his legs were crippled and his mind was all but broken. The happiness he promised to Chen Xing could no longer be achieved.

The big boy who had struggled for so many years was still defeated. He was thrown into the dirt like a clump of bloody, stinking mud. He could no longer be anyone’s star.

So he was silent for a long time, unable to speak. He finally pieced together his strength, gritted his teeth and said those two sentences.

—I knew it was you from the beginning.

I’ve thought about you for so many years, how could I not recognise you?…

—Do you want me to be a star for a fool?

Xiao Xing, I look like this, I don’t deserve to be your star anymore…

There was a burst of sobbing that could no longer be suppressed from the mobile phone. Qi Han and Fu Ge looked at each other. The latter took the mobile phone, ”Xiao Xing, I know you’re listening.”

In Apartment 303 upstairs, Chen Xing curled up on the floor, crying hysterically. Blood slid down from his hand as he squeezed the broken glass in his palm.

“The innermost room on the first floor of the Planet House has everything about you. I put the key in the compartment of the insulation bucket. You can go there anytime.”

Previous / ToC / Next

Pain Fetish Extra 9

Translator’s note: It looks like a continuation of the airport meeting after Chen Xing’s return in Chapter 74, but it is a bit of an alternative timeline, or rather, the events in Chapter 74 seem to be set in an alternative timeline to give closure to those who don’t want to read extras. As you can see, the events here happen after Qi Han and Fu Ge are already married.

The moon was bright and fragrant, illuminating the night all around, and only Chen Xing’s small room couldn’t be touched by the moonlight.

He chose this room because there were no windows here, and the absolutely enclosed small space was like a big clam isolated from the world where he could live in peace. Here he could cower in his shell and be the little fool that no one wanted.

“Grandma, are you asleep?” Chen Xing asked the old lady’s posthumous photo in the middle of the bookshelf as he poured the wine, then looked at his watch and smiled dryly. ”Must be asleep, it’s nine o’clock.”

He fished out a pack of colourful granules from his pocket and poured them into a water cup shaped like a flower pot. 

The hot water was added into the cup, and the stream of water smashed the layer of the granules and turned them foggy, which looked particularly lively.

Chen Xing liked everything lively, liked fireworks, liked a simple and noisy life; but since he was five or six years old, these things had been completely out of his reach.

The granules dissolved in water and the cup was placed in front of Grandma, while he held a wine glass in his hand, leaned in and clinked it gently with a crisp sound, ”Grandma, I’m home.”

His movements were so natural as if nothing had changed. He was still the one who rushed home first after school and was happy with his grandmother’s company.

“I’ll have to go out after a while and I won’t be back for a long time this time. I might be on a business trip, I might travel, or I might have an affair with a beautiful little O.”

He stifled a laugh, squeezed the flower pot cup and looked in, and explained to his grandmother: ”These granules were brought from the US, it says something about it being a chlorophyll supplement, you can get up tomorrow and try it, well… I’ll try a sip first.”

He raised his head and took a big gulp, and spit it out with a puff, frowning bitterly: ”Fuck, what the hell is this? It’s harder to drink than a big carp turned into juice…”

The big carp that was swimming next to him was immediately unhappy when it heard this. It raised its tail and slapped the fish tank, spat out bubbles and looked at Chen Xing very fiercely.

It looked like it was scolding him.

Chen Xing looked straight at it, wiped his mouth and scolded the fish: ”What’s the matter with you, Qi Dabao, I owe you a fart.”

This big carp called ”Qi Dabao” was a substitute of the fish that Chen Xing raised and killed when he was a child, but its temper was a little more explosive.

Every time Chen Xing changed the water, the carp would jump up in anger and smack Chen Xing several times, as if fearing that this 250 man would kill it, and it would follow in the footsteps of the white moonlight.

Chen Xing pulled the chair and sat down, tapped the fish tank with his fingers and teased the carp. As soon as the chatterbox was opened, he started talking like spilling the beans.

He talked about how annoying it was to work abroad, how punchy the pheromones of foreign O were, and how happy his good buddy was now.

“Yes, yes, it’s Qi Han, my brother.”

Seeing the big carp tilt its tail, as if he was cheering him on, Chen Xing smiled and sprinkled some fish food for him: ”You still remember him. I can’t believe it, he is already married, and his son is six years old. He has an adult and he has a child, and very beautiful ones. Think about it, we made an appointment to go to the nursing home to fight nurses together when we got old, never tying a knot in this life—”

As Chen Xing said these words, his voice paused, and the sour wine rose to his eyes. He chuckled and blinked: ”How could anyone be alone forever? People… five years, ten years later… can always find company…”

Only he was different.

He was always driven away, always left behind, and finally accepted his fate, was obediently ready to die alone, but he didn’t expect that person once again to break into his life off guard.

It was so easy to arouse the little hope in his heart, deceiving him into dizziness, to make him suffer from gains and losses and wait for him again.

And then, when he was ready, he was told that this time it was a long-planned drama.

At the age of eighteen, Qi Chuan lied to him to escape his stepmother, and at the age of twenty-three, Qi Chuan lied to him to help Fu Ge take revenge.

From the age of five to the present, Qi Chuan left him three times and lied to him twice, as if Chen Xing was always the first to think of when he needed someone to use.

“After all, I’m a fool.” Chen Xing looked at the big carp, smiled and said, ”Fools are the best to lie to, he has known it since he was a child.”

His fingers pressed to the fish tank, following the trajectory of the big carp as it swam, but his eyes fell on the photos on the wall behind the tank through the double layer of glass, blankly.

As he traced Qi Chuan’s eyebrows with his eyes, it seemed that his wildly beating heart made it difficult to breathe.

Five minutes later, he threw all the fish food in his hand into the tank, stood up and took a deep breath, as if talking to someone: ”Brother, that’s it. It’s over… let’s stop here.”

He was stupid, but he was not cheap. Some losses, if it was not enough to eat them once, then twice should be enough. Whoever the fuck would want to toss and toss, he was not that much of an idiot.

“I’ll take Grandma and the fish away, burn all your photos, I’m off to England on business next month. I’ll be back in two years at the earliest, hopefully you’ll be married and have children by then. So let’s not leave any unholy involvement and don’t make me sick.”

The doorbell rang twice as soon as he finished talking. Chen Xing still remembered that Qi Han said at the airport that he would send someone to bring him supper.

“Wait a minute!”

He took a tissue and wiped his hands clean, and walked to the door quickly. He still planned to go out and buy two packs of cigarettes after supper, but he didn’t expect that the door would open, and the man in the photos would be standing outside, alive and well. 

Qi Chuan raised his bloodshot eyes and said in a muffled voice: ”Xiao Xing…”

Chen Xing’s breath stopped for a moment and his left finger suddenly slammed into the keyhole when the two words were said.

A sharp splitting sound was very clear in the corridor. His nail broke, a third deep into the flesh.

The blood that flowed instantly stained his nails red, dripping down his fingers. It hurt like hell. 

Chen Xing looked over in a daze, and what he thought at that moment turned out to be: the nails are the hardest part of the human body, how can they be so bad?

He must’ve hit hard.

“It’s you.” After being silent for a full three minutes, he finally took the lead in speaking, but didn’t raise his head, just saying that in a flat tone. 

It was as if he didn’t have those pictures hanging behind him, and he hadn’t been snooping on Qi Chuan for years like a pervert.

But his lowered eyes were blinking desperately, trying to hold back the tears. He was extremely embarrassed and forced himself not to be embarrassed.

“Is there anything wrong that you come here so late?” Chen Xing, who adjusted his expression, put his finger in his mouth and sucked, swallowing the taste of rust mixed with saliva.

Qi Chuan was still looking at the photos on the wall as if his soul was out of his body, as if someone had smashed a hole in his head with the tip of a knife, pulling flesh and blood out.

His breathing stopped, his heartbeat stopped, his dark eyes turned red and hot, and the blood vessels in them seemed on the verge of bursting.

Before today, he thought that Chen Xing had let go of the old past and lived happily under Qi Han’s wing. But the facts in front of him were like a soldering iron pressed to his heart, cruelly and bluntly telling him that that little fool might not be able to get out of the snowy moat in the middle of winter until now.

“President Qi?” Chen Xing called out again impatiently.

Qi Chuan’s gaze fell on his finger, and his heart clenched, ”Let’s deal with the wound first.”

“There’s no rush, just say what you need to, and I’ll wait for you to leave before doing it.”

This was an obvious eviction order.

Qi Chuan was quiet for two seconds, then raised his foot and squeezed into the door, ”Let me help you.”

Chen Xing turned his head and looked at the photos on the wall, nodded, and then nodded again, this time with a smile, ”Then let’s talk by the way.”

He turned sideways and let Qi Chuan in, closing the door. But he was not going to entertain the guest, only took out the medicine box to disinfect the wound.

“I’ll help you.” Qi Chuan stretched out his hand.

“Don’t touch me.” Chen Xing’s tone was very calm, and he didn’t even raise his head. ”I don’t like unfamiliar people getting too close to me.”

Qi Chuan paused, retracted his hand in a daze, and looked at the room cautiously. When he saw the old lady’s photo, his breathing obviously hitched. For a moment, it felt as if someone had pierced his heart with a knife.

He didn’t dare to think about how desperate Chen Xing should be after he said something like that that year, and then learned of his grandmother’s death, and how determined he was when he jumped into the moat.

The moat in the snow was so cold, and the biting chill could freeze people to death. How could Chen Xing, who was so afraid of the cold, have jumped into the moat without hesitation if he hadn’t really lost all hope?

“Can I offer incense to Grandma Zhang?”

“No.” Chen Xing dipped a cotton ball in alcohol, pressed it on the exposed flesh, and stated: ”She doesn’t know you.”

Qi Chuan’s hand with the incense stopped and dropped in silence.

That was right, Grandma didn’t know him, she only knew Qi Dabao, but he could never change back to Qi Dabao again.

“President Qi, don’t do the whole ‘want to talk about it’ thing. If you have anything to ask, ask quickly. I’m too sleepy and I’m in a hurry to go to bed.”

As if he wasn’t embarrassed by the photos in the slightest, he sat squarely in his chair, crossed his legs, lifted his head and looked up at Qi Chuan.

The two people were facing each other, one sitting, the other standing, but Chen Xing, who was sitting on the chair, seemed to be looking down on him.

Qi Chuan kept his eyes downcast, paced a few steps and leaned against the table, ”Pick up what you want to talk about, and what you don’t want to talk about can be never mentioned.”

Chen Xing sneered, ”You are really more pretentious than me. Fine, if you don’t ask, I’ll ask for you.”

He tapped the desktop with his fingers and asked himself, ”What the hell is this little shitty room? The secret base of the Poor Infatuated A, aka myself. It’s where I’ve hidden all the stuff I couldn’t get rid of over the years.”

With his slender index finger stretched out to the wall again, Chen Xing continued: ”Why hang your pictures on the wall? It’s obvious, I’m stupid, I’m cheap, I was tricked by you to sleep and be played with for more than three months before, and I’m still in love with you. I hide in the room to look at things and think of people.”

When he said these words, he spoke very quickly, expressionlessly, and every word was so light that he seemed to be reading the subject report, without any trace of embarrassment.

But Qi Chuan’s heart ached to hear it, as if he was watching him cut himself open with a knife, picking out the rotten flesh and holding it up to be tried.

What he saw in Chen Xing’s face was a great, long-standing sorrow. The wounds had been left untreated for so long that they had become an old disease, and no amount of salt rubbed into them would hurt anymore.

Behind the ultime freedom was endless despair.

But why was this happening?

Obviously, at the airport just now, Qi Chuan could still see that Chen Xing asked Qi Han to help cover up because he didn’t want to be embarrassed in front of him.

“What? Surprised, huh?” Chen Xing let out a chuckle, raised his eyes and looked at him from the bottom up: ”Think I shouldn’t be like this?”

Qi Chuan only blinked. His emotions had always been restrained, as if he was an uncracked walnut, but Chen Xing could easily distinguish the changes.

He smiled and asked rhetorically: ”Then what do you think I should do? Be hysterical? Crying bitterly? Or should I run away like at the airport?”

Chen Xing shook his head and said softly: ”No, it really won’t do. I’m twenty-five, not fifteen. I’ve been in the Chamber of Commerce for three or four years since I graduated from college. I’m not the stupid fool I used to be.”

“If you came back a few years earlier, before I knew that you came to me this time to take advantage of me, I might really give you a good show of love and death. It’s a pity that you didn’t come back.”

Qi Chuan clenched his fists and frowned slightly, disapproving of what he was saying about himself: ”You have never been stupid, and I didn’t seek you out this time to help Xiao Ge take revenge.”

Chen Xing snorted, as if he had heard some big joke: ”Don’t pretend, it’s too funny coming from your mouth.”

“Xiao Xing, I’m back this time—”

“Stop! Stop, stop, stop!” Chen Xing waved his hand at him, and said wearily: ”Stop it, you didn’t say anything when I asked you to, now be smart and keep your mouth shut.”

“I spent the first twenty years of my life looking for excuses for other people, now I don’t want to look for them and I don’t want to listen to them, no matter what you want to say. No matter what you want to explain, back then and about what’s going on now, it doesn’t make any difference to me.”

Raising his hand to drink all the wine in the glass, Chen Xing looked at Qi Chuan and said, ”Do you understand? President Qi, don’t explain, it’s boring.”

Qi Chuan looked into his eyes and slowly lowered his head: ”I won’t mention it again.”


There was silence between them again, and this time it was Qi Chuan who broke the deadlock first: ”I came over here to ask how your health is. I have a friend who works in psychology, who said he had seen you go to counselling.”

Chen Xing’s expression was cold: ”I’m fine, don’t worry about it, I went to consult a psychologist with long legs.”

Qi Chuan: ”……”

Caught off guard and choked, Qi Chuan tentatively said, ”I have a friend abroad who is very good at psychology. I’ve invited him to come, so if you have time, let him take a look at you.”

The words had barely left his mouth when he heard a thud. A cup hit the table, and Chen Xing’s face was full of annoyance: ”Didn’t you hear what I said? Is it because you want to fuck me? Just say a word, and when you’re done, get out of here, I won’t charge you.”

“Xiao Xing!” Qi Chuan raised his eyes at him abruptly: ”Don’t speak with such self-contempt.”

Chen Xing shrugged, ”You don’t want to play dirty, do you want to get platonic? You don’t want to rekindle your relationship with me, do you, President Qi?”

He only felt like he wanted to laugh when he asked this, ”Stop it, you are not Qi Han, and I am not Fu Ge. We have never loved each other to death. We were all mercenary and selfish, so don’t put on the image of being deeply in love. If you don’t mind being disgusting, I still find it troublesome.”

Whatever Qi Chuan wanted to say, Chen Xing quickly patted his hand and interrupted him: “Actually, I’ve just figured out our shit. It’s no big deal, I’ll be blunt with you. I was a fool in your eyes and you’re a shit in mine now. Not to mention rekindling our relationship, it’s not even necessary to pretend to be friends, so let’s just disperse.”

Qi Chuan squeezed his wrist, rubbed it twice and said, ”I don’t want to get back together with you, let alone disturb your life, I just want to accompany you to see Will King for a check-up. If everything is okay, I will disappear before your eyes immediately and never haunt you again.”

Chen Xing seemed to be bargaining, hesitated for half a minute, and asked, ”How long will the check-up take?”

“One week, five days if it’s fast, don’t be afraid, I will be with you the whole time.”

Chen Xing replied immediately, ”Politely declined, haha, I’m quite sick of you.”

“Xiao Xing, don’t joke with your health!”

Chen Xing was really annoyed: ”You just can’t stop, right? It’s none of your business whether I’m dead or alive!”

He got up and shoved the man on the shoulder, ”Scram! Get out of here! Don’t disturb my sleep!”

Qi Chuan didn’t dare to hold his hand hard, so he could only give in and step back, ”I swear I just want to take you to the doctor, not to pester you.”

“I don’t care what you want to do! Don’t bother me— ah!”

Chen Xing pushed Qi Chuan to the door but tripped and lunged towards him. Qi Chuan quickly opened his arms to catch him, and the two bumped together into the low cabinet by the door.

With a crash, the wooden cabinet door was knocked open, and countless small white bottles fell to the ground.

Chen Xing was stunned for a moment, then his face suddenly changed, and he rushed over to block the medicine.

Qi Chuan thought of something, held him back, grabbed a bottle of medicine forcefully, and his pupils shrank suddenly after just one look.

There were dozens of medicine bottles scattered on the floor, of all kinds, some empty, some full, and some half full. Qi Chuan looked like he was angry and distressed; his tall body trembled uncontrollably, and his glaring eyes almost spewed fire.

“Chen Xing… do you take hallucinogenic drugs for a long time?!”

Chen Xing panicked completely, not daring to turn his head and look at him. His pale face turned red and then white again. ”No, it’s none of your business, just leave.”

Qi Chuan’s long, narrow eyes stared at him with a deadly gaze: ”How long have you been taking them?”

Chen Xing gritted his teeth and punched him in the face: ”I said it’s none of your business!”

The change happened too quickly, and the two seemed to start fighting without warning. But in fact, it was all Chen Xing’s unilateral violence, and Qi Chuan just held him as he let him vent, his red eyes full of tears.

Chen Xing panted, hitting him, punching fiercely and viciously, as if venting his anger and his grievances: ”What the hell are you doing coming back now! Nothing can be repaired anymore!”

He grabbed Qi Chuan by the collar and pulled him up, punching him on the bridge of his nose, furious and desperate, as if the last fig leaf was ripped away: ”Who do you think you are? Huh? Who the hell do you think you are! You don’t want peace and quiet, you have to tear your fucking face off (shed the pretense of cordiality)! What are you doing talking to a fool? Aren’t you afraid to bring down your IQ level!” 

“Xiao Xing!” Qi Chuan covered his mouth and choked: ”I never thought you were a fool, never, it was because of—”

“Bullshit!” Chen Xing interrupted him with a roar. ”There are only two people in this world who have never thought I am a fool, my grandmother and Qi Dabao, but they are all dead! They don’t want me anymore…”

Tears fell drop by drop. Chen Xing slowly stopped, his body swaying uncontrollably.

Qi Chuan knew that this was sequelae of long-term drug use, and his heart was in so much pain that he could only hug Chen Xing and coax him lightly: ”Don’t cry. Don’t cry, Qi Dabao is not dead, he has always been there, he will give you whatever you want, and he will never lie to you again, okay?”

Chen Xing’s consciousness was a little refreshed, and he looked at him in amusement, his chapped lips trembling a few times before squeezing out the words: ”What I want? Since when am I qualified to tell others what I want…”

He smiled very lightly, but the wet corners of his eyes seemed to hold the grievances of many years, ”I want my parents not to abandon me, I want my grandma not to drive me away, I want Qi Dabao to say goodbye to me before leaving. I want Qi Chuan to really love me when I am eighteen. Is it a lot? Is it very difficult?”

Chen Xing still can’t figure it out: ”Don’t you all know that I am a fool? Don’t you all tease the fools? Why don’t you want to fool me about such simple things and give it to me? Why? Why the hell?!”

He cried and fell into Qi Chuan’s arms, and Qi Chuan hugged him with his eyes red, so much in pain that every breath pierced his heart like a thousand arrows.

“Xiao Xing, hallucinogens, how long have you been taking them?”

Chen Xing said: ”More than four years…”

Qi Chuan choked and closed his eyes: ”Why do you take them?”

Chen Xing lay on his shoulder, tears slipping from the corners of his curved eyes: ”Because when I take them, someone wants me… Grandma, Qi Dabao, Qi Chuan, they all come back to me. I don’t want to live alone, Brother, I can’t stand the pain anymore…”

Previous / ToC / Next

Pain Fetish Extra 8

The friendship of children always comes quickly and inexplicably.

The little Chen Xing and Qi Dabao became the best friends in the world in just two minutes, because they found that they both loved watching Teletubbies.

The two little mushrooms got together and chatted about small things, and exclaimed in amazement after every few words, patting each other and clapping to each other like seals.

It was quite a meeting of the minds and appreciation of the heroes.

Chen Xing told him that he had come to live in the village, and said that his grandmother’s surname was Zhang, and she was a very neat and short little old lady.

Qi Dabao immediately recalled Grandma Zhang in the village and volunteered to take him to find her. It turned out that the place where he found her was not Grandma’s house, but halfway to the entrance of the village.

It was drizzling that day, and there seemed to be a dense mist in the air. The little Chen Xing raised his head, looking through the mist, to see the old lady sitting on the root of the big tree.

There was no expression on her face, and she looked serious and fierce, with dense, deep wrinkles that made her skin look like dry and old banyan bark. Her patched black lace-up shoes were soaked up by the rain mixed with brown mud that seeped drop by drop into the earth.

The old lady’s wide trouser legs were also stained with mud all the way up to her knees, and between the trouser legs and the cloth shoes, there were her frail bony ankles.

It seemed that a little stronger wind and a little more rain would destroy her few remaining years.

Until many years later when Grandma left him forever, Chen Xing still couldn’t forget the day he first met her.

He couldn’t forget her serious face, her helpless eyes, her rain-soaked cloth shoes, and the mud on her trouser legs.

The housekeeper told him that Grandma didn’t want to live with him, so she didn’t come to pick him up, but the five-year-old Chen Xing knew at the time that it was not that she didn’t want to come. Grandma couldn’t come.

It was raining but she was in such a hurry that she didn’t even take an umbrella, and she fell on the slippery road and couldn’t get up, so she could only sit in the rain and wait awkwardly.

The little Chen Xing was not afraid of his fierce grandmother. He let go of the housekeeper’s hand and ran to the old lady, trying to help her up.

However, the old lady pushed him away, ”Send him where he comes from. I can’t even raise my own son. Do you expect me to help him raise his son?”

After speaking, the old lady gritted her teeth and straightened up, propping herself up against the curb, and walked away without turning her head. Her thin back looked stubborn and indifferent.

The little Chen Xing sniffled, ran in his rain-soaked sandals to catch up, and said with the same indifference: ”I won’t stay, I’ll just take you home.”

He didn’t leave immediately after he took her home but helped Grandma to the bed and used his little chubby hands to help the old lady take off her shoes, cover her with the quilt, pour water for her and rub her knees, one and the other.

When it rained, the old lady suffered from rheumatism, and the pain was unbearable. A layer of sweat oozed from her forehead, but her face was cold and she didn’t want to trouble others.

The little Chen Xing didn’t know what to do. His face flushed in anxiety, and he ran to the next door to call someone without putting on his shoes. As a result, he ran too fast and plunged face first into a mud puddle.

The small stones in the puddle scratched his tender face, and Chen Xing also had dirty water in his mouth, but he didn’t cry, got up and just limped to the next door.

The old lady watched from the window as the little fool fell and ran, ran and fell, finally covering himself in mud.

The words of expulsion that had been going round and round in her head were not spoken again.


In this way, Chen Xing took root in this small mountain village, lived with his grandmother, and spent the happiest five years of his life.

Although the old lady was serious and reticent, she was very kind to him.

All the meat in the pot was given to him, and all the milk from the sheep was boiled for him, and even a simple bowl of fried noodles in oil given to him was sprinkled with a layer of sesame seeds.

Of course, Chen Xing also loved Grandma the most, because Grandma didn’t dislike him for being stupid.

There was no kindergarten in the village. Before the children went to the primary school, they just ran and played all over the street. Grandma was afraid that he would not be able to keep up, so she wanted to give him tutoring in advance.

As a result, after sitting face to face at the small table for a day, Chen Xing only learned one word: ”egg.” Because Grandma told him that whenever he couldn’t write a word, he could use this word instead and everything would be fine.

So on the first day Chen Xing went to primary school, he proudly wrote two large characters in the name column of his workbook: Chen Egg.

Qi Dabao, who was also not very well educated, thought it was wrong and very confidently took an eraser and changed it for him, adding another character.

Chen Xing looked at the newly written ”Egg Xing” on the homework book with admiration: ”Brother Dabao, you’re so cultured!”

Qi Chuan was proud for a couple seconds and touched the hair of the little fool next to him.


Only then did Chen Xing know that Qi Chuan came to the village not much earlier than him, just one year earlier.

As outsiders who sympathise with each other, the two children naturally played together and agreed to be good brothers for the rest of their lives, which led to a number of ludicrous anecdotes.

In winter, they went outside to watch the snow together. Chen Xing heard someone say that the big iron gate became sweet after being soaked in the snow, and then the two idiots stuck their tongues together to lick the iron gate. 

Chen Xing even asked, ”Is it sweet, Brother Dabao?”

Qi Chuan frowned: ”I think it’s a bit fishy…”

In summer, they went to the river to catch fish together. The two of them held a big carp longer than their arms and wouldn’t let go even when the angry carp used its tail to slap them until their noses were bruised and their faces swollen.

Fortunately, Grandma rushed over in time to save them. The little Chen Xing was so aggrieved that he plunged into Grandma’s arms and cried wildly: ”Grandma, this big carp has lost its conscience, it smacked my mouth!”

Qi Dabao also stroked his hair to comfort him: ”It’s okay, kid, didn’t Brother help you stop it?”

The big carp was brought home by Grandma, and she started to boil the oil in a pot to stew it.

The little Chen Xing was sitting on the stool with his head drooping, reluctant to eat. It was not that he felt sorry for the big carp being buried in the belly of the little pig, it was just that the two of them were too close to each other, and eating the carp like that wouldn’t be enough to get over his hatred.

What can you do if you don’t eat it? Let’s keep it.

When Qi Chuan told him that fish were most afraid of poor living conditions, Chen Xing gave the carp the muddiest water from the river, threatening to kill him, but as a result the carp returned to its native environment and became more and more lively.

Qi Chuan said that fish were most afraid of not eating well. Chen Xing squatted in front of the fish tank and ate the pie, trying to make the carp feel greedy to death. As a result, the big carp shook its tail and Chen Xing was so scared that the pie fell into the tank, and Grandma came, rolled up her sleeves and gave him a good beating.

Later, in the second grade of primary school, the teacher asked everyone to write about their pets.

Chen Xing had no pets, he only had a big carp that had lost its conscience, so he wrote:

My hated (because I don’t love it) pet is a big carp. The first time we met, it slapped me with its tail in the mouth three times. I took it home that night to take revenge, and it slapped me three more times.

I repaid with egg for egg (he didn’t know how to write ‘goodness’ and ‘grievances’). After raising it for three years, I still accidentally killed it.

When I changed the water for it, I only turned on the pumping pipe and forgot to turn on the water pipe. When I came back from watching Teletubbies, it was already dead.

I am very sad, it’s too late for eggs (too late for regrets). I miss it (loudly) and its three big slaps (quietly) for many years.

Qi Chuan was very angry after reading Chen Xing’s composition, because he also wrote on the same topic, and he wrote about his best friend Egg Xing.

It was a stormy noon when Qi Dabao took his newly acquired pocket money to a small shop and bought a pack of spicy strips called “Shrimp and eggs” and generously shared it with the little Chen Xing.

But he didn’t know that the spicy strips were expired. After eating, the two vomited and had diarrhoea, and their stomachs ached all afternoon.

They leaned against each other and cried sadly, looking at each other with watery eyes. The little Chen Xing asked, ”Brother Dabao, are we going to die already?”

Qi Dabao was also heartbroken: ”I think so.”

So the two children hugged their heads and cried for a while, and then discussed going on their way together. But before going on their way, they had to go home and take a look at their mother and grandmother one last time.

“Brother Dabao, what time will you die tonight?” Chen Xing asked with a sorrowful face.

Qi Chuan said in a solemn voice, ”I will die when the time comes. What should come will come.”

The little Chen Xing nodded: ”Then I want to die at 8:30, okay? I want to finish watching today’s Teletubbies.”

“Well… okay, then I will die at 8:30 too. I’ll wait for you.”

As soon as 8:30 arrived, the two little idiots met and walked out of the house, afraid that Grandma and Mom would be sad when they saw it. They thought that if they had to die, they needed to die as far away as possible.

But when they were too tired to walk, the little Chen Xing lay on the side of the road with his head tilted, solemnly preparing to wait for death.

As a result, he fell asleep while waiting, and snored a little.

When he opened his eyes again, Grandma was anxiously patting him on the face and calling him. The little Chen Xing was sad and surprised at the time, and shouted, ”Grandma! How come you’re also dead!”

As soon as he finished shouting, a big palm slapped his ass, and the little Chen Xing knew that not only was his grandmother not dead, but was beating him vigorously.

Qi Dabao was taken home by his mother. Grandma Zhang couldn’t walk anymore, so she could only sit on the side of the road and rest. Chen Xing thought about what happened this afternoon and asked her seriously and very quietly: ”Grandma, am I really a fool?”

Grandma didn’t say anything, she just gave him a pack of unexpired “Shrimp and eggs” and ate them with him, saying slowly, ”You’re not a fool, you just think too much. It’ll get better in the future.”

The little Chen Xing took a mouthful of oily snacks and asked worriedly, ”What if it doesn’t get better?”

Grandma turned her head and looked at him, but her half-blind murky eyes looked very bright and shining. ”If you don’t get better, Grandma will raise you. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

The moon that night was very big and round, and its pure white light shone on the muddy earth. Grandma with her bad legs took the little Chen Xing’s hand, and two limping shadows hobbled back home.

Chen Xing felt that this kind of life was very good. Even if he had no money or was a fool, as long as he had his grandmother by his side, he didn’t have to be afraid of anything.


Later on, a family in the village had an accident and the parents were killed in a car crash. Chen Xing, who had grown up a bit, asked Qi Chuan what an orphan was.

Qi Dabao said that children without a father and a mother were called orphans, but Chen Xing didn’t agree. He thought: I have parents, but I’m still an orphan.

“Do people always have to separate from people?” Chen Xing lay on the stump of the tree, looking up at the stars in the sky, ”Xiao Ying’s parents are far away, and Xiao Ying is left behind and forgotten.”

Qi Dabao was carefully peeling a roasted sweet potato and feeding him the tastiest hard inside, casually saying, ”No, some people will never separate.”

“The stars in the sky are the people who died. You see, the stars are always together, shoulder to shoulder, and always play together.”

Chen Xing sat up in surprise, his black gem-like eyes filled with moisture, and his eyelashes flickered like small fans: ”Really! Then I want to be Grandma’s star, I want to stay with Grandma forever!”

Qi Chuan looked at his beautiful face, became inexplicably shy, and said bashfully: ”Then I will be your star, okay? I will never leave you either.”

Chen Xing was incredulous and flattered: ”My… my star? Can I have a star too?…”

Qi Chuan said solemnly: ”Of course you can! Let’s pinky swear!”

It was a quiet and noisy night, with a gentle wind and insects chirping.

The little fool, who had been disliked for many years, had a star of his own after eating a roasted sweet potato, and the star made a promise to never leave him.

But what the little fool didn’t know was that pinky swear was the most ineffective form of promise in the world, and children could tell lies more smoothly than adults.

A month later, the cicadas were chirping in the hot evening.

When the little Chen Xing went to see Qi Dabao with his new “Shrimp and eggs”, he was told by his mother that Brother Dabao had gone away and would never come back.

It wasn’t until they met again at the university many years later, and Qi Chuan looked into Chan Xing’s eyes that were red with excitement and grievances and asked blankly, ”You are?” that Chen Xing knew: not only had the star left him, but also forgotten him.

He was the only one who remembered the pinky swear that night, the wish he had made, the promise he had been given, every word said seriously and stumblingly.

Brother Dabao left him in the unknown small village and went on his way without looking back.

Why would a six-year-old ”fool” remember and a normal eight-year-old forget?

It was only later that Chen Xing figured out that probably Qi Chuan had been teasing the fool since he was a child.


But the eighteen-year-old Chen Xing didn’t understand this, he just felt that he couldn’t blame Qi Chuan for forgetting him.

Because the growth path of a child is originally like a puzzle, with too many gorgeous and bright colours, and the little fool who chased after him and ate “Shrimp and eggs” with him was not even a complete piece of the puzzle.

Only Chen Xing, who was disliked from childhood to adulthood, held this memory as a treasure, knowing that it was just a childish promise but believing it deeply.

He never mentioned this past to Qi Chuan, and his approach of courting Qu Chuan was also fair and righteous, starting from zero just like many other suitors of Qi Chuan at the university, without adding any points to himself on the fact that they were friends when they were young.

So when Qi Chuan said “yes” to his confession not long after, Chen Xing was so excited that he accidentally kicked the bedpost and broke it.

In the first half of his ill-fated life, he had only two truly happy memories. Coincidentally, both of them included Qi Chuan.

The childhood with Grandma and Qi Dabao was one and the three months of being in love with Qi Chuan was the other.

It was a young and innocent first love, and the other party was a bamboo horse (childhood friend) that Chen Xing had missed for years and dreamed about countless times.

He was ready to love Qi Chuan all his life.

For Qi Chuan, he joined the student union that he hated, for him he went to play basketball he was not good at, for him he got a tattoo on his sensitive nape and drank for him in the nightclub until his stomach bled.

For him, he endured the violence of the Alpha’s rut and let the frenzied Qi Chuan bite his glands…

The eighteen-year-old sentimental little A, beautiful and ignorant, innocent enough to make people ache and… in love enough to be scary.

Fortunately, Qi Chuan also loved him at the time.

Chen Xing had a violent temper and was deliberately rubbed in the wrong way by the chairman of the student union.

Qi Chuan didn’t say anything to his face, but announced the beginning and end of the conflict between the two in a complete and unbiased manner in the chat group, and then promptly withdrew from the group and stepped down from his post. 

Chen Xing accompanied him to a nightclub to work, but was caught by a drug dealer and forced to drink.

Qi Chuan used his clothes to cover Chen Xing’s head and literally snatched the person out and sent him to the hospital, then went back alone and broke the drug dealer’s jaw and and two arms.

Chen Xing was used to spending money and liked photography, so he changed his camera and accessories every three days.

Qi Chuan didn’t have much money at that time, so he secretly took a work-study job at the university that no one wanted, and followed the professor into the mountains for a month.

A month later, when he came back, he was tanned and he still had injuries on his hands, just to buy him the latest lens.

There were countless examples of this kind. Qi Chuan really loved him and really spoiled him at the time. Taking care of him in every detail, coaxing him tenderly and being considerate and loving again and again dazzled Chen Xing, and he was caught deeply.

It seemed that the little fool who was disliked by everyone was transformed into a little princess by Qi Chuan. Those three months were like a beautiful dream for Chen Xing.

That was why once he woke up, it was like falling into the abyss, leaving him smashed to pieces and drenched in blood, and he hadn’t been able to get up since then.

Chen Xing remembered that the sky was very blue and the clouds were orange at the time of the incident. He bought a lot of “Shrimp and eggs”, and wanted to muster the courage to tell Qi Chuan: I’m the little fool whose star you promised to be when you were seven years old.

But when he arrived at his house, Qi Chuan was gone.

He didn’t even leave a formal break-up note, and the day after the two agreed to spend their birthdays together, he had vanished into thin air.

It was the housekeeper of the Qi family who came over and told Chen Xing that his boyfriend was not a university student who had to work and study at all, but a rich second generation with a good family background.

He was not with Chen Xing because he liked him, but because he wanted to use the relationship as a cover-up to escape from his stepmother’s eyes and go abroad.

Chen Xing was crying and laughing when he heard it, saying he didn’t believe a word.

He was a little fool that no one wanted. He had long developed a pleasing personality and the thing he had done the most in his life was to help others find excuses.

When Mom and Dad didn’t want him, he found them an excuse that he was too stupid and would embarrass them.

When Grandma drove him away after he started junior school, he found her an excuse that she was too old to support him.

Qi Dabao clearly said that he wanted to be his star but forgot about him. He found him an excuse that he was too young to remember at the time, and it was normal to forget.

Now that Qi Chuan used him and deceived him, the first thing Chen Xing did was to find an excuse for Qi Chuan because he had no other choice.

What if the housekeeper lied? What if something happened to Qi Chuan?

He began to call Qi Chuan endlessly, from seven o’clock to nine o’clock, until his phone’s battery was down to a single bar and the other party finally got fed up and picked up the phone.

The roar of a helicopter came from the phone, drowning Chen Xing’s sobbing. He didn’t even know he was crying at all, he was just like when he was six years old, when he learned that Qi Dabao was gone. He asked desperately and blankly: ”Are you leaving again? You’re leaving me too, we’re breaking up… right? Are we…”

There was silence on the opposite side, and Qi Chuan ignored him from beginning to end. Chen Xing stood by the moat, crying and coughing, until he coughed up blood from his throat.

He didn’t know why this happened, he didn’t know what he had done wrong, and he didn’t know why everyone wanted to leave him.

He thought: I’m not stupid now, I’m a normal person, I’ve learned not to say those weird thoughts out loud, so why… you still don’t want me…

It snowed in winter, and the bank of the moat was slippery.

Chen Xing fell to the ground and knocked his forehead on the guardrail. There was a lot of blood, but he seemed to feel no pain. His eyes were wide open and he only felt scared.

He picked up the “Shrimp and eggs” at his feet and pulled out his last trump card when he was cornered, crying and saying to Qi Chuan: ”Brother, it’s me, I’m Xiao Xing! We have known each other since we were young. You said that I am your favourite little brother. Recall it! I’m Xiao Xing…”

But a second later the opposite side told him, ”I know.”

Chen Xing was stunned for a moment. His whole body seemed to be frozen by the snow, ”You, you know… when did you know…”

Qi Chuan said: ”Since the beginning.”

Then he chuckled and asked him word by word: ”So, do you want me to be a star for a fool?”

This sentence was the beginning of Chen Xing’s collapse. 

Many, many things happened that night. He was in a lot of pain, so much pain that he couldn’t breathe, so much pain that he wanted to die, and his memory was in a mess, as if a sharp blade of a steel knife cut through his head.

He only remembered that he apologised to Qi Chuan like he apologised to his parents, saying that he was sorry, a fool shouldn’t drag him down.

He remembered that after Qi Chuan hung up, the village chief called, saying that his grandmother had a sudden cerebral haemorrhage when she went out on a snowy day and couldn’t be rescued, and asked him to go back and deal with the funeral.

He remembered that the snow buried his ankles that night, and the guardrail was loose. When he jumped into the moat, he didn’t seem to make a single wave, silently falling, sinking and drowning.

It was the most relaxing moment in his short life.

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Pain Fetish Extra 7

Chen Xing was a heartbreaking little 250 (idiot) in the eyes of many people.

With his round head and pretty face, he hadn’t been smart since he was a child, and even his brain circuit had nine twists and eighteen bends more than that of normal people, as if when humankind evolved, it took risks with him and developed a separate logical thinking system for his exclusive use.

Of course it was not all his fault that he was not smart, it was mostly a suspected mental deficiency caused by congenital underdevelopment.

Coincidentally, he was a premature baby born after not having been in his mother’s womb even for seven months. 

If it is said that everyone is an apple that God has taken a bite out of, then Chen Xing must have been the hardest one to eat, so God kicked him out early without even taking a bite.

Looking back on his fucked up life before he was ten years old, probably only the word ”fair” can barely sum it up, because he used personal experience to prove everyone that it was impossible for extreme beauty and normal intelligence to appear in one person at the same time.

For him, God graciously opened the big floor-to-ceiling window to beauty and kicked shut the door to intelligence.

He inherited 99% of his mother’s beauty and 0.9% of intelligence of his father, a brilliant calligrapher and artist and a strong strategist. The powerful union resulted in the birth of a beautiful idiot who was less than 50% in all aspects.


Chen Xing’s parents were in a business union and their marriage had long since been dead. After giving birth to a child, they left him to the nanny, never giving any thought to his upbringing.

When he was five years old, it became clear that his parents were not getting along. His father cheated and had a mistress. His mother was distraught and decided to break up and file for divorce.

Both of them were decent people, and they didn’t cause any gossip in the circle of the wealthy. A marriage came to an end quietly, the only big fight being over the issue of Chen Xing’s custody.

It was not that they were rushing to raise him; rather, the young parents didn’t want the stupid son to be a burden for the rest of their lives.

Dad’s lover was pregnant, and the heartbroken mother just wanted to be left alone.

That evening the five-year-old Chen Xing flew home happily like a butterfly after his composition was praised by the teacher, only to hear outside the door that his dad shouted hysterically: ”Divorce is fine! I will give you the property you deserve, but you must take that fool Chen Xing away from me! I don’t want to ever see him!”

His mom was also furious: ”Do you think I care about your money?! I don’t want a cent of the property, don’t even think of throwing that fool at me!”

The little Chen Xing was not as tall as the door handle at the time, and stood silently outside the door. He was wearing small macaron-coloured overalls, a pair of mismatched shoes, and the soft hair on the top of his head was slightly curly.

The silly smile was still on his face, but his eyes were getting wetter and wetter. The little Chen Xing’s not-so-smart head couldn’t figure it out: why did he know every word that Mom and Dad said, but he didn’t understand them when they were put together?

The composition in his hand was written with more than a hundred words full of circles and crosses (to replace words he doesn’t know how to write). The title was ”My Dear Mom and Dad”. This was the first time that the teacher had praised him and asked him to read the composition to his parents at home.

Chen Xing looked at the piece of paper and thought for a long time before he understood the meaning of the words: My dear parents are going to divorce, but they don’t want me, because I am a fool who will embarrass them.

The little fool felt very uncomfortable. His underdeveloped heart was squeezed hard by something he couldn’t even describe, sour and painful.

It wasn’t until many years later that Chen Xing understood that kind of thing was called ”inferiority complex”. At an age when he hadn’t even learned self-confidence, he had already quietly developed it.


On the day the divorce was finally finalised, both parents were very happy. The house was filled with a joyful atmosphere, and the two adults who believed themselves to be very dignified were very excited. They even joked with each other and had a drink.

The little Chen Xing didn’t go to dinner because he vaguely understood that his parents were going to separate and he was going to be thrown away. He held the fat catfish doll in his cot in a daze until midnight, waiting for everyone to fall asleep before jumping out of bed and walking to his mother’s room.

He was wearing chubby cow pyjamas, his curly hair was fluttering in the night breeze, and he sat on the carpet curled into a small ball very quietly and seriously asked the beautiful sleeping woman: ”Mom, am I really a fool?”

The sleeping woman couldn’t answer him, only the sound of the wind blew affirmatively in his ears. The little Chen Xing waited for a while and nodded in loneliness, buried his face in his knees and said, ”I suppose so.”

His head was very round, round as if he was a Teletubby, but his little classmates didn’t watch Teletubbies anymore, they all started watching Ultraman, and only he, the idiot, was still watching Teletubbies. His brain circuits were always twisted and strange. When he didn’t say or do anything, he was like a normal five-year-old child, but as long as he said and did things, he was clearly not a normal five-year-old child.

However, if you looked closely, you would find that he had his own set of logic.

The leaves were falling from the trees; they were green and reminded him of his own little green umbrella that would fly as long as the wind was strong enough.

So he insisted on going out with his umbrella on a sunny day, trying to make the umbrella fly, only to be chased and laughed at by the children.

The kindergarten children painted rabbits, and all the children painted them white and cute. Only he painted the tragedy of the rabbit being ripped apart and said it was a rabbit’s ending.

When the teacher asked to paint a house, Chen Xing found that after the red and green were mixed, yellow paint that no one had would appear. He was excited to share the new colour with the children but made them cry because he dirtied their houses. The teacher complained to his parents that he was always causing trouble.

There were many, many examples of this kind, and he was abnormal everywhere. His extremely jumpy mind and maverick imagination made him unable to be quiet, often speaking out of turn. His excessively different and “scary” ideas were labelled as deviant.

Children ostracised him, teachers worried about him, and his parents regarded him as a fool.

But if someone had taken the time to take him to the hospital, it would have been clear that Chen Xing was not weird or stupid, he was overly intelligent.

His underdeveloped brain couldn’t hold too many things, which was why he often seemed to be a mess.

His parents left him to his own devices and no one considered his future, so the little Chen Xing made a plan for himself.

He lay on the side of the bed and said to his sleeping mother: ”I know you don’t want me anymore, because fools always cause trouble. I’m not angry with you. After all, I didn’t say hello to you in advance when I came out of your belly. I think if you had a choice, you’d definitely want a smart kid.”

Speaking of this, the little Chen Xing’s eyes reddened again, aggrieved. He hugged his knees and choked: ”But I tried, I’ve been working hard these days. I drank milk, drank a lot of it, and I wore cow pyjamas! But I still can’t be smarter, I’m still a fool…”

No matter how stupid your brain is, you know that ”fool” is a very bad, very bad derogatory term. It is definitely not something you can say to other children, but the little Chen Xing put it on himself so naturally.

Children have shame too, and no one will mock themselves like this if they are not desperate.

Before he knew what despair was, he had already tasted it thousands of times.

The little Chen Xing got up and helped his mother tuck in the quilt, whispering, ”I don’t need to trouble you, I will go to Grandma’s house by myself and won’t let you and Dad see the stupid son again and get angry, just…”

He pursed his mouth and huffed for a while, holding back the tears, then wiped his eyes and begged humbly: ”It will be my birthday next week, but you don’t like to give me one.”

Before, he didn’t know why, but now Chen Xing understood; because he was a little fool, his parents didn’t give him a birthday party that other children had, and even the cake was only cut perfunctorily.

“No one wants to make a birthday for me, so it’s okay if I have one by myself…”

He was not sure if it was okay. The sleeping mother didn’t reply to him from beginning to end. Fortunately, the birthday gift Chen Xing wanted to ask for was not expensive. He just raised the crumpled composition and said to his mother: ”I want to read the composition to you. It is written for you and Dad.”

Chen Xing’s mind was so jumpy and his little head was so full of wild ideas that it was the hardest thing in the world for him to concentrate.

For the five-year-old Chen Xing to sit in his chair and write a hundred words was more difficult than it was for the Teletubbies to turn their heads square.

But his teacher said it was a gift to his parents, so Chen Xing did it.

He got up from the carpet, stood upright, took out a zebra-like striped stocking from his pocket and tied it around his neck to act as a tie.

He cleared his throat and began to read aloud.

“I have a family, I have Dad, I have Mom, and me. Dad gave me a big room, Mom gives me tasty food. I’m the only one who can’t give them anything, so I want to give them joy. I want to say good morning and good night to them and tell them I love them very much. I want to become tall and strong, like a small tree in the yard, and protect them forever, forever and forever,…”

Bean-sized drops fell down and hit the composition paper. The little tie-wearing cow lost his composure and clenched his fists, trembling all over, his face red and wrinkled.

He kept flattening his mouth to stop his tears, and finished the last paragraph with difficulty like a toothless little old lady: ”I have a family, Dad, Mom and me. I want to be with them forever and forever…”

But they don’t want me anymore… because I’m a shameful stupid kid, no matter how much milk I drink, I can’t become smart…

At the end of that night, the little fool covered his mouth and cried until he was twitching. All the cows on his pyjamas were wet from crying. His red eyes blinked sluggishly and even the curly hair on the top of his head looked aggrieved.

He walked to his mother’s bed and slowly climbed up, trying to hug the drunk woman for the last time, but stopped when his chubby hand was about to touch her forehead.

The teacher said that the children should not get too close to each other if they had a cold because they could infect each other. He didn’t dare to touch his mother either because he was afraid that he could infect her with his stupidity.

It was fine for him to be a little fool by himself, and his parents would be very smart forever.

Early the next morning, the little Chen Xing didn’t finish breakfast yet when he said to his father that he wanted to go to his grandmother’s house in the countryside to play, and added with a flat face like a little adult that he would not be able to come back anytime soon.

His father just thought he was being a nuisance again and was happy not to see him, so he asked the housekeeper to take him all the way to his grandmother’s house.

Grandma’s house was in a small mountain village with beautiful mountains and waters. Although it was remote, the scenery was very good, suitable for retirement.

Grandma was old and unwilling to move to the city. In addition, she had had a disagreement with Chen Xing’s father, and the mother and son had even reached the stage of not wanting to see each other.

Naturally, the old lady didn’t want to see her little grandson she had never met either.

The housekeeper took him off the train and put him on the bus that took him to the entrance of the village. The little Chen Xing waited obediently with his head tilted up for half an hour and no one came to pick him up, but he had clearly heard his father talking to Grandma on the phone, informing her in advance.

See, a fool was a fool, and no one wanted him anywhere.

Thinking so, Chen Xing sat on a stone, holding his legs and burying his face in his knees, like a small mushroom that no one picked.

As a result, after a while, another small mushroom that no one picked appeared by his side.

The seven-year-old little Qi Chuan was also waiting for someone to pick him up, and when he was tired of waiting, he sat side by side on the stone with Chen Xing.

The mushroom from the city was pretty and cute, and the wild mushroom from the village was simple and sturdy. When the two mushrooms looked at each other, they felt attracted to each other and rubbed their shoulders shyly.

Qi Chuan looked at the little beauty curiously, his tender childish voice full of natural fondness and goodwill: ”What’s your name?”

The little Chen Xing flattened his mouth and said stickily: ”My name is Fool.” Then he asked: ”And yours?”

Qi Chuan said solemnly: ”My name is Qi Dabao!” (Dabao – Big Treasure; if you remember, we also have Xiao Bao, who is ‘Little Treasure’)

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Pain Fetish Extra 6

The timing of the breaking news about Fu Ge was actually very clever.

The news that ”Nirvana” won the Alexander Silver Award abroad caused a sensation in the major domestic art academies. Fu Ge had since become famous, the youngest Chinese painter to win this prize.

While the students felt honoured, they were inevitably envious and jealous.

They had studied hard for three years with very little success, while a ”socialite” who had entered the school halfway in just a few months had easily won the highest award they couldn’t even hope for?

If Fu Ge was really gifted and had real talent and knowledge, everyone would be convinced. But the bad thing was that Elder Qi had inadvertently exposed their relationship.

After the students who rushed to the front line of eating melons (enjoying the gossip) calmed down, they couldn’t help but have suspicion: since Fu Ge was Professor Qi’s grandson, then did he complete ”Nirvana” by himself, or was it ”a gift from the master”?

Once the seeds of suspicion were planted, they were hard to dispel, and the posting of the story at this point was undoubtedly the stone that had stirred up a thousand waves.

A series of seemingly solid photos, audio and video were used as hard evidence to tie Fu Ge to a pillar of shame in just one day.

The heat didn’t calm down because the person in question remained cold, but instead the post made three or four rounds on the forum. If there was no convincing evidence that would help Fu Ge make a comeback, the stain of being a kept man and having his paintings ghostwritten by others would accompany him through all his university years.

But just when he needed to prove his innocence most, Fu Ge went abroad in a hurry because of the company’s affairs.

The company founded three years ago by Fu Ge and Qi Chuan was a new pharmaceutical company. In order to avoid being caught by Qi Han in the process of revenge, Qiansheng Pharmaceutical’s main business had always been abroad.

As the CEO, Qi Chuan was in charge in the front of the stage, while Fu Ge hid behind the scenes under the name of ”Mr. Xiao” (Xiao for “little”, so it’s obvious it’s an alias). It was only four months ago that he made his first appearance at a shareholders’ meeting, formally revealing his identity.

At the same time, Qiansheng also began to transfer its business. Following the wave of efficient price reduction for high-efficiency inhibitors promoted by Qi Han, Qiansheng Group entered the domestic market for the first time with the inhibitor price that was 20% lower than the market price. The response was enthusiastic and it successfully gained a foothold.

Fu Ge had been hesitant to go to university before because of the heavy academic load of the Academy of Fine Arts and the fact that the company was in an important stage of market transfer.

He had no time to do both at the same time, but at that moment Qi Han stepped forward and helped him to shoulder the burden.

The identity of the president of the Chamber of Commerce was sensitive, and Qi Han couldn’t have too much communication and involvement with any business organisation. This was a taboo that couldn’t be violated.

Qi Han could only hide behind the scenes under the name of ”Mr. Xiao” and work hard and carefully for three months to make Qiansheng gain initial stability in the country.

So the cost of letting Fu Ge return to school was much more than simply donating half of the campus; there were also the three months Qi Han worked around the clock, and the huge risk of his identity being discovered at any time.

But he had never mentioned half a word of these things to Fu Ge. He just fulfilled his duties of a father and a husband wholeheartedly, and waited every night to coax Fu Ge and Ah Jue to sleep before going to the study to work overtime until the early hours of the morning.

Once Fu Ge woke up at four o’clock in the morning and found that Qi Han was not there. He found the study in a daze and saw that Qi Han was still processing documents with his eyebrows furrowed.

Only then did he know how tired Qi Han had been recently.

However, the Alpha’s face immediately brightened the moment he saw him. He patted his thigh and motioned to Fu Ge to come over, ”Don’t stand in the wind, it’s cold.”

Fu Ge obediently walked over and sat on his lap, wrapped his arms around neck and rubbed his fluffy head against the Qi Han’s shoulder, snuggly and gentle.

Qi Han hugged him and slowly coaxed: ”Did you have another nightmare? Sleep in my arms, I’ll take gege back when he’s asleep.”

Fu Ge shook his head, ”I think I’m too selfish, letting you fight in front of me for my own dreams.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, his thigh was slapped. Qi Han squeezed him hard, his voice hoarse and fierce: ”I’ll really beat you up if you say this shit.”

Fu Ge pursed his lips: ”If only you were really willing…”

“Don’t anger me if you know I’m not willing,” Qi Han leaned on his shoulder wearily, closed his eyes and murmured, ”Gege, I’ve been fighting in the frontline for too many years. From the age of eighteen or nineteen to the present, most of the time I have been in a daze. Only this time it makes sense.”

Fu Ge raised his eyes blankly: ”What?”

Qi Han said: ”Let Ah Jue have a happy childhood, let you graduate from the university, and let you both grow up again carefree. You don’t know how satisfied I feel when I think of this.”

The last words he had written on that piece of paper: I really want to love him so much, and I want to have a family with him.

Now all of these had been realised.

Fu Ge didn’t say anything more, just gently climbed up Qi Han’s shoulders to kiss him, touched the cigarette case with trembling fingertips and took one out.

“Do you want to smoke a cigarette to relieve your fatigue? I’ll go back after you finish smoking.”

Qi Han looked at his wrinkled pyjamas and his smooth white neck, and licked his teeth with a chuckle: ”What’s the use of smoking? If you really want to relieve my fatigue, do something practical.”

The little Beta blushed, lowered his head and slipped from the chair to the carpet, kneeling at Qi Han’s feet, his docile, shy eyes holding the threads of Qi Han’s dreams.

Qi Han’s breathing became heavier; he raised his hand and put it on the back of Fu Ge’s neck, ”Good baby, hurry up.”


The market transfer of Qiansheng had reached its final stage and there was an important meeting that had to be attended by Fu Ge in person.

Fortunately, the class hours owed during the previous vacation had been made up, and he would be able to leave early tomorrow morning. He still had time to accompany Qi Han and the child this afternoon.

After class, he quickly walked out of the classroom and used Bluetooth to hand over the work matters to his assistant while walking. He was so busy that he didn’t pay attention to the ambiguous glances and whispers of the students around him. 

“Did you see it? He changed into a high-luxury suit again. He hasn’t worn the same clothes in the past few months, right?”

“More than that, look at the jade necklace he wears around his neck. That’s the auction level. I have read about it in a magazine. The transaction price is seven figures, and he just wears it so casually.”

 “What’s the matter with this, the golden master likes him, he doesn’t lack anything.”

A delicate-looking Omega sneered when he heard the words, ”How much can he like him? The post has been out for three days and I haven’t seen the golden master come to pick him up in person. He probably thinks it’s too embarrassing.”

The little Omega’s companion threw some shade: ”Qin Ran, you’re so sour. I think Fu Ge is not at all disadvantaged. His golden master is handsome and generous, and has spoiled him to the heavens. Now he gets some scolding on the forum, so what?”

“Who says I’m sour!” Qin Ran, the original poster who broke the news, turned his head and rolled his eyes, his eyeliner-painted eyes looking sexy and creepy. ”I just feel sorry for him. No matter how good it is, how long can it last? A Beta without pheromones, who can’t appease the Alpha in rut, how long can you expect the golden master to like him?”

As he said that, he took a picture of Fu Ge’s outfit with his mobile phone, gritted his teeth and looked at the photo, secretly planning in his head.


There was pan-fried fish for dinner today, and Fu Ge cooked it. Qi Han and Ah Jue both liked this dish very much. The father and son rushed to eat it, competing with each other. Qi Han didn’t give in to the child in the slightest, and in the end Ah Jue was defeated.

When Qi Han helped him take a bath, the stinky kid played a trick of pouring a bottle of orange-scented shower gel into the bathtub, causing Qi Han to smell of oranges all over, unable to wash it off.

Like a big walking orange with a little sneaky orange by his side.

Amused by these two fruits, Fu Ge asked them how old they were and how they could be so childish, not realising that he also was smelling like strawberries from the shower gel.

Qi Han hummed and lay down, hugging Fu Ge and sniffing him wildly. The little Beta had just taken a shower, and the smell of pheromones on his body was covered by the shower gel.

The Alpha was unhappy: ”What kind of shower gel do you use, why is it so fragrant? Little Strawberry.”

He was a big orange and disliked others for being too fragrant. Little Strawberry indifferently pushed away the dog’s head that was rubbing against him: ”If it smells bad, don’t come and rub against me.”

“No way, I smell worse than you, I’ll just rub more to neutralise it.”

Little Orange saw that his dads were having fun and rushed up like a puppy to rub too, ”Papa, let’s rub together!”

Qi Han pressed a finger to his forehead and stopped him, ”No, you’re going to sleep.”

Xiao Jue pouted pitifully: ”But I haven’t rubbed against papa yet.”

“No rubbing.”


Qi Han confidently: ”You, future Alpha, want to rub against my wife, do you have to ask me why I refuse?”

Ah Jue’s mouth flattened; aggrieved as if the sky had fallen down, he ran back to his room, shouting as he ran: ”Why am I the only one in the whole family without a wife!”

Big Orange, who had almost made Little Orange cry, hurriedly followed him and coaxed the stinky child, solemnly promising him that he would get his share of rubbing against his papa for him.

Little Orange was very grateful, holding his hand to express his gratitude: ”That’s hard work, Dad, remember to rub for me a little more.”

Big Orange kissed him on the forehead, ”Got it, silly boy.”

When he returned to the living room, Little Strawberry pinched his ears and said fiercely: ”Did you fool him again?”

“Is this fooling? I’m making him aware of the dangers of society in advance. How can such a simple Alpha please his wife?”

He was a rascal who had a point, and Fu Ge groaned in his heart but didn’t argue with him on the surface.

Qi Han saw through it at a glance and took him into his arms like a bandit: ”What are you secretly scolding me for?”

Fu Ge: ”?”

Fu Ge: ”I didn’t even make a sound and you heard it all?”

When Big Orange heard this, he was so angry that he almost turned into orange juice, ”You really scolded me!”

He caught Fu Ge’s lips in a punishing kiss, rubbed Little Strawberry into strawberry jam, and finally left some room for a proper conversation.

“You’re leaving tomorrow, is there anything you want to tell me?”

Fu Ge thought for a moment and said as he lay in his arms, ”Take care of yourself, and don’t fight with each other, you two annoying guys.”

Qi Han raised his eyes: ”Nothing else?”

Fu Ge nodded: ”Nothing else.”

The Alpha had a ”you’re hiding something from me” look on his face: ”What about the rest, is there nothing going on at school?”

Fu Ge held back a smile. ”Don’t you sound like you know everything? Then why are you asking me?”

Qi Han didn’t hold back his smile either: ”I have to go through the motions, right? I can’t just say that the bodyguard I secretly placed next to you told me everything, can I?”

The little Beta laughed, pretending to be angry: ”Ah, alright then, dear golden master, dear sugar daddy, I was bullied at school, hurry up and save me! Is this okay?”

It was barely enough to smooth Qi Han’s fur. He leaned back on the sofa and looked at Fu Ge suspiciously: ”Other children get wronged at school and rush to complain to their parents, why didn’t you say a word?”

Fu Ge couldn’t stand his childishness anymore, ”Because I’m not a child, and it’s not a big deal.”

“Aren’t you?” Qi Han exaggeratedly showed the space between his thumb and index finger: ”You are that tiny.”

Although Fu Ge was older than him and quite tall, Qi Han always felt that he was a small, petite baby and wanted to spoil him in every possible way.

Fu Ge laughed and sat on him, grabbed his fingers that generously demonstrated his height and said helplessly: ”Big Brother, have you ever seen a tiny 1.85? I am taller than many Alphas in my class.”

Qi Han didn’t care:”1.85 is still tiny in front of me.”

This was true; it might be because his bones were bigger but Fu Ge was actually only seven centimetres shorter than him and yet it looked like he was a lot smaller.

When Qi Han hugged him and handled him, it was as easy as fiddling with a little doll.

Seeing Fu Ge sitting on his lap like Guanyin Bodhisattva, Qi Han deliberately suddenly spread his legs, and his little Beta swayed and lunged forward.

”Hey— I’m going to fall…”

Qi Han supported his waist: ”See if I can let you fall.” The tone was sullen; he was obviously still dissatisfied with his silence about the post on the forum.

“I protect you like a treasure, and I have to consider whether you can bear it or not when I say something dirty in bed. But you’re so good,  letting those 250 (idiots) scold you.”

Fu Ge’s focus was a bit off: ”Do you consider it when you say those dirty words?”

Qi Han: ”?”

Qi Han: “Listen well! Is the point whether I talk dirty?”

Fu Ge muttered in his heart: isn’t it… and secretly swallowed the words.

Qi Han immediately guessed his mind, ”Your eyes dodge like this, is my scale of talking dirty too restrained?”

Fu Ge eagerly asked him: ”Why don’t you… try something unrestrained?”

Qi Han raised his eyelids and looked at him for a few seconds, then suddenly leaned over and said a word of German in his ear, the warm breath inexplicably making Fu Ge’s ears burn.

Fu Ge rubbed his face uncomfortably: ”What is it? Speak Chinese.”

Qi Han refused, ”It’s too dirty, you can’t listen.”

If he didn’t say it, it would be okay, but now when he said it, Fu Ge was curious: ”Oh, go ahead, I can listen. Or you can whisper it?”

As he wished, Qi Han said a sentence into his ear, which included two nouns, a verb and a degree adverb.

Fu Ge: ”……?!!!”

With the ear that heard this sentence as the centre of the circle, the heat spread to his whole body at a speed of ten centimetres per second, and with a bang, Fu Ge’s worldview exploded. His ears were deaf and his eyes were blind.

Little Strawberry’s leaves dangled from the man’s lap as it tried to skitter away but was caught halfway through the escape.

“What are you running for, is what I said not good? Weren’t you so big now that you could cover the sky?”

Fu Ge couldn’t defend himself much; after all, he was the one who made Qi Han say that. So he negotiated, pinned to Qi Han’s lap and struggling: ”You are not allowed to say that tonight.”

Qi Han held back a laugh: ”I’ll say that.”

The big child was so annoying.

The little Beta threw out the temptation: ”I’m leaving tomorrow, do you just want to talk tonight?”

Qi Han immediately agreed and said as if he had suffered a great loss: ”Okay, the cheongsam I ordered last month for you has arrived, moon-white pattern, transparent fabric. If you put it on and show it to me, I won’t say that.”

Fu Ge: ”?”

Ordered for me?

Qi Han picked him up and walked to the cloakroom. The tail of the wolf that had succeeded was wagging to heaven: ”Gege promised, gege can’t go back on his word.”

In response, Little Strawberry slapped him, and then was bullied into a puddle of jam.

The transparent cheongsam was ripped apart as soon as it was put on. Qi Han pulled off his shirt, revealing a lean, toned body.

Fu Ge’s face flushed slightly, ”Then keep your voice down.”

Next to the cloakroom was Ah Jue’s bedroom.

Qi Han stared at him from head to toe like a wolf, leaned against his neck and said solemnly: ”It’s not down.”


The seminar was not an unusual event in the Academy of Fine Arts. It was held once a year by the school to invite well-known alumni or social figures to participate in it to share the experience with the graduating students and widen their horizons.

It was just that this kind of purely formal thing was not popular with students. Every time you had to use the Zhihuishu (a credit course operation service platform that assists members of colleges and universities in realizing cross-university course sharing) credits to intimidate and seduce people to sign up to barely be able to fill the lecture hall.

But this time it was very different from previous years.

As soon as the event was announced, the Zhihuishu system was immediately paralysed, and 90% of the students in the school were scrambling for places. It was so popular that some even offered a price of thousands of yuan for a place. The reason was that two big people were invited to the seminar in a shocking manner. 

One was the current president of the Chamber of Commerce in the capital, one of ten Enigmas in the country, Qi Han, who was only twenty-four years old.

The other was the executive director of Qiansheng Group, ”Mr. Xiao” who had never appeared in public and was also the donor of the art museum of the Academy of Fine Arts and the campus.

Once the guest list was announced, the entire school exploded, and when the students looked at the auditorium where the meeting was about to take place, their eyes lit up.

Although there are many young talents in the capital, these two were definitely real heavyweights.

A vigorous and powerful president of the Chamber of Commerce, a mysterious and popular newcomer in the business circle, neither of these two was a small fish.

The seminar was going to be a “high end” event, and it happened to take place in the Academy of Fine Arts. Everyone on the forum was speculating how it managed to catch those big shots.

[Boldly guessing, President Qi comes for Fu Ge?]

[I’ll be damned, that golden master is quite attached to him.]

The original poster who broke the news on the forum posted a message: [I hope that he will be able to get a little bit of affection from President Qi and not just sell his body. But I heard Classmate Fu took a week’s leave of absence before the seminar, and the guest of honour was already booked. I don’t know why he doesn’t show up once President Qi arrives. It can’t be that President Qi thinks he’s too embarrassing?]

Qin Ran hid behind the screen and typed down the text frantically, his eyes full of scheming pleasure and hidden expectations.


The day of the seminar was rainy, and the sky was foggy and wet.

Even so, the students were still crowding, all looking forward to the Maybach driving into the school gate.

This was Qi Han’s car.

The school usually didn’t allow private cars to come in. Even teachers’ cars, according to regulations, had to be parked in the parking lot outside the school. But someone who had donated half of the campus naturally had some privileges.

Not only could Qi Han drive into the school in a big way, the school principal also came to welcome him in person with an umbrella.

Qi Han sat in the back seat, his slender legs crossed, he was wearing a three-piece suit, and his expression was cold and sharp. His whole body carried a strong sense of oppression belonging to Enigma, without anger or arrogance.

The driver came down and walked around the car, bent over and opened the door, holding the umbrella.

Only then did Qi Han’s leather shoes touch the ground, and he stepped out of the car unhurriedly. He stood in front of the school principal, more than half a head taller than the people around him.

He always looked expressionless when he faced people other than Fu Ge. With one hand in his pocket, he stretched out the other to shake hands with the school principal.

After a few greetings, he raised his eyes to look at the crowd, and his gaze fell accurately on the Omega, the original poster who broke the news, Qin Ran.

Qin Ran wore the same clothes as Fu Ge that day, imitating a full set from head to toe, and even carrying a small crossbody bucket bag that the little Beta liked to carry when he painted.

However, the sultry make-up and high-end imitations couldn’t hide his cheap aura.

Qi Han found him completely disgusting. He hated when someone tried to imitate Fu Ge, even if it was a small detail; not to mention that Fu Ge’s clothes were always carefully selected by him.

Enigma’s eyes became more and more cold and frightening, and he looked at Qin Ran through the crowd for a few seconds, his gaze sweeping down to the flowers in his hand, and then turning back to the person.

His eyes narrowed, and after an indifferent glance, he looked away.

“Principal Lin, let’s enter the school first.” It was as if he was the host here.

The unexplainable feeling of oppression only slowly dissipated after he left, and the crowd subconsciously took several big breaths. Only Qin Ran’s face was pink, his head shyly bowed and his toes touching each other.

Obviously, the extra few seconds of being stared at just now caused him to misunderstand the situation.

The classmate by his side was either envious or contemptuous, saying sourly: ”Someone looks down on Fu Ge so much and pretends to be him to catch people.”

Qin Ran didn’t care at all: ”Who wouldn’t love such an Alpha? Dare you say you don’t like him? He glanced at me, and I felt soft from head to toe. As for who can win in the end, that depends on one’s abilities.”

The companion scoffed at him, not yet ready to shed the pretence of cordiality. ”Hey, what are you doing holding the flowers? What is it again?”

Qin Ran raised his chin proudly: ”The school arranged for me to present flowers to President Qi after his speech, so I can stand on the stage the whole time.” He squinted his eyes shyly, as if thinking of something, and murmured: ”I’m the one who should be standing with him, that little Beta is nothing…”


The seminar was held in the largest auditorium of the Academy of Fine Arts. The auditorium, which couldn’t be filled even with the help of extra credits, was now crowded. The students who didn’t manage to grab a place also found a way to squeeze in, filling all the corners.

Some of them held up their mobile phones to arrange live broadcasts to their roommates who failed to come.

Naturally, the forum exploded a long time ago, and the original post with the breaking news was constantly bumped up. Qin Ran and his companions desperately guided public opinion.

[President Qi, is that the same President Qi I know? Isn’t that the rumoured golden master of the backdoor male god of the Academy of Fine Arts?!!]

[It’s him!!! I was lucky enough to see the real person at the entrance, so handsome! The aura was so strong that people were weak in the knees. Suddenly I understand Fu Ge, I want him even if he doesn’t pay me, woo woo woo.]

[The three views (views on the world, life and values) follow the five senses, u1s1 (frankly speaking, an Internet expression) the president and the little male god are quite a match.]

[The three views go to hell, so you all look at the face and ready to sell meat, right? Didn’t you see that Fu Ge didn’t dare to come today?]

[What’s the use of the golden master being handsome? It’s not that he’s even allowed to come to the auditorium. His golden master is ashamed of him.]

[Fu Ge didn’t come? Fuck…]

[He took a week off and hid with his tail between his legs.]

[After all, the kept toys can’t be shown to the world…]

Qin Ran crackled his fingers and kept typing, his mind filled with the “affection” in Qi Han’s eyes when he looked at him, and he even instinctively imagined a scene of a luxury car waiting at his classroom door every day after school.

The coordinator led him to the part of the stage next to the backstage exit, which was off to the side; but the lights would naturally follow him when he presented the flowers.

Of course, Qin Ran would not expect Qi Han to be attracted to him at a glance. He deliberately made a small contraption on the strap of the bouquet, so that Qi Han would be hooked by the bouquet as soon as he received it. Then Qin Ran would help him disentangle the bouquet and take the opportunity to stuff the note with his contact information into Qi Han’s hand.

It was the top priority to leave an impression first, and future matters could be discussed in the long run. If Qi Han liked Fu Ge’s pretentious style, Qin Ran didn’t mind turning himself that way, staying next to Qi Han, waiting for the day when he got tired of the old and wanted the new.

Then use pheromones to get a lifetime mark…

Qin Ran held the bunch of flowers, his eyes glowing like two small torches.


The seminar officially started at 7:30. As usual, various leaders spoke first. Each leader started with ”Let me briefly mention a few points”, and then spoke for half an hour.

By the time the last leader finished speaking, the students were all asleep, but the host announced that the guests were on the stage, and the crowd immediately woke up.

The first person to speak was Qi Han.

He entered from the backstage exit under thunderous applause, and the lights immediately focused on him. 

Qin Ran watched Qi Han walking towards him step by step, and his heart suddenly beat like a drum.

Some people seemed to be born to shine.

The privately tailored suit was worn by Qi Han with an extravagant and noble aura, and the lapels revealed a part of the malachite-green silk tie that emphasised the muscularity of his chest. An auction-level white bellflower brooch was pinned to the left side of his chest, and the silk square in the pocket was folded into an intricate shape. No high-end accessory seemed to be out of place on him.

The dignity of the proud son of heaven was in his every move.

No one paid attention to what he was saying. Everyone was holding up their mobile phones to take pictures frantically. Some students who forgot to turn off the flashlight awkwardly lit up the stage.

The scene was chaotic, the crowd boiling and somewhat out of control.

A sharp staccato electric sound suddenly flowed out of the stereo, and the next second, a low male voice came from the microphone.

“Excuse me.”

Qi Han stood in the middle of the stage, glancing down. The noise miraculously stopped. Qi Han raised the corners of his lips and gave everyone a gentlemanly nod.

For work reasons Qi Han didn’t often make such ”courtesy” speeches.

Most of the time, when there was a meeting, subordinates reported to him to receive criticism, and the fewer words, the more powerful they were. Sometimes just a look in the eye could scare people into immediate silence and introspection.

It seemed that people who had been in a high position for a long time would always subconsciously carry a commanding tone in their words. But Qi Han’s speech today was unexpectedly easy to listen to.

He began by analysing the future of arts from the market perspective, laying out the direction of the business, and then from the perspective of all levels of consumers, describing what kind of paintings they wanted.

In the end, he asked someone to move a glass showcase to the stage, lowered his eyes, and said in a quiet tone: ”The Art Museum funded by Qiansheng Group is about to be completed. This is a gift from me on behalf of the Chamber of Commerce to your school. I hope it will be displayed as the first exhibit.”

The Enigma walked to the glass showcase, put his fingers on the red silk cloth and tapped it lightly. The silk cloth was lifted, and Qi Han softly introduced: “Red Beaked Bird” was bought by a collector at a price of 7.5 million U.S. dollars in the New York Museum three years ago, and then transferred to me. It came from a young painter of eighteen years old who had just made his mark and then sadly fell into obscurity. After a lapse of five years, I am very grateful that he was able to pick up the brush again and become a student of your school.”

As he put down the microphone, there was an uproar in the venue, and everyone looked around in shock, guessing who the author of the painting was.

The host received Qi Han’s look, and a clear female voice immediately sounded: ”The executive chairman of Qiansheng Group is invited to come on stage to give a speech.”

As the words were said, the lights hit the exit, and everyone’s eyes were focused there. At first the long, straight legs stepped into the circle of light, and then a gentle, as warm as jade face could be seen.

Fu Ge was wearing a moon-white high-end suit and walked step by step to the front of the stage. The luxurious and complicated dark patterns on the suit flowed under the light.

A slightly smaller white bellflower brooch was like a star on his chest.

The boyish student aura disappeared without a trace. He raised his eyes slightly, like a red plum standing proudly in the vast snowfield, so bright and cold and precious, so beautiful that everyone’s heart was captured.

There was no sound in the crowd for a long time, and then small, restrained exclamations started. Some people stretched their necks and stared in disbelief at the sight in front of them.

Qin Ran, who was waiting by the exit, had a smile frozen on his face. His whole being was as stunned as if his soul had left his body. A hot, painful sensation continued to spread across his face.

However, in the next second, he was face-slapped much harder.

After putting down the microphone, Qi Han walked to the exit quickly, glanced past Qin Ran holding the flowers, raised his hand and carefully supported Fu Ge, who was going down the stairs.

Even when the school principal personally greeted President Qi, he only nodded slightly, but when Fu Ge went downstairs, he lowered his head and held his hand for him, in full view of everyone.

The love and affection in his eyes was undisguised.

It seemed that anyone else was just a jumping clown who was not worth mentioning to him, only Fu Ge was a precious jade pearl, a jewel of the moon, a treasure of his heart.

After the young Beta descended to the last step, he naturally let go of Qi Han’s hand and walked towards the host without looking at Qin Ran.

Qi Han gave Qin Ran’s clothes a stinging glance: ”Dong Shi imitates.” (The full expression is “Dong Shi imitates Xi Shi’s frown”, meaning to imitate someone’s traits and make a fool out of yourself; comes from a story about the beauty Xi Shi who often covered her chest with her hands and frowned because of the heart pain. The ugly girl next door saw it and thought the posture was beautiful, so she also followed her example, but the ugly girl became even uglier.)

The imitator dressed in fakes lowered his head, clenched his fists, trembling all over, and the flowers in his hand fell to the ground.

Qi Han looked at his id and said, ”I have deleted the post for you. This is the first and last time.”

Qin Ran raised his head in a panic, his face pale and his lips bitten to bright red: ”President Qi! I’m sorry, I know I was wrong! I shouldn’t have slandered, please don’t make the school expel me…”

“You think too much.” Qi Han turned his head, tenderly looked at the man who was speaking on the stage, and said word by word, “I won’t get you expelled. Finish studying in peace. I want you to watch my moon rise to the sky step by step while you can’t even match one of his toes.”

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Pain Fetish Extra 5

The growing pains discovered by Fu Ge was simply the biggest pie that had ever fallen from the sky on Qi Han in his life.

Every day, on the pretext of treating the disease, he unscrupulously got his hands on the little Beta, playing more and more tricks and making more and more demands.

Fu Ge was tossed every night, washed his face in tears, and was overwhelmed.

Later, he threatened with ”moving to school to live in the dormitory if it doesn’t stop”, which made Qi Han converge a little bit.

On Sunday, the school had to make up for Tuesday’s classes because of the holiday break. The students complained but had to get up for class obediently. Fu Ge had classes on Tuesday for the whole day, from eight in the morning to eight in the evening.

But every Sunday was the junk food day that Qi Han promised him, and the little Beta had been talking about eating KFC since the morning.

Qi Han was so amused that he lined up to buy it at noon and waited for him outside the classroom.

Fu Ge had a lot of professional classes and sketching practices, basically all in the afternoon, and the lunch break in the middle was only an hour and a half. He usually wouldn’t go home, either resting in the dormitory or napping in Qi Han’s car.

This was naturally the case today.

As soon as the bell rang after class, the students rushed out.

The roommate patted Fu Ge on the shoulder from behind: ”Let’s go, baby, the second cafeteria is cooking a new coconut chicken. Shall we try it?”

“Not going.” Fu Ge walked out with his bag, his eyes smiling: ”He’s here to pick me up, and he’ll bring you bubble tea when we come back. What do you want to drink?”

“Yo yo yo, envy you to death, I want taro bubbles!”

“President Qi is so considerate, knowing that he’s here to send warmth today, let me just have a cup of wild vegetable soup, one bowl a day to cure my love brain.”

Fu Ge smiled and rubbed the round-faced little Beta’s head, ”You talk too much.”

Fifty metres to the right from the teaching building was the asphalt road that young couples loved to visit. Two rows of sycamores were planted on both sides of the road.

The golden sycamore leaves rustled, gently covering the ground in the early autumn.

Qi Han’s car was parked under the tree, and the Alpha, wearing a khaki coat, looked at Fu Ge from the half-open window, his deep eyes like the shards of broken diamonds.

Fu Ge couldn’t help but slow down his steps, and the sound of fallen leaves being crushed seemed to scratch his ears like small claws.

At that moment, it seemed that time and space were disrupted, reminding him that five years ago, Qi Han always loved to wait for him outside the studio like this.

He took a few steps to the car, tilted his head and kissed Qi Han’s lips, put his hands on the car window and hooked his chin with a smile: ”Who is the boss here waiting for?”

Qi Han held the steering wheel in one hand and looked at him with smiling eyes: ”The male university student I’m raising.”

Fu Ge said ”ooh” exaggeratedly, ”Then he is really ignorant, how can he keep the boss waiting for such a long time.”

Qi Han couldn’t help laughing,”Then why don’t you hurry up, your hands are getting cold.”

Fu Ge kissed him on the face again, ”Here you go.”

He was so lively today that he didn’t even look like himself, warm and sweet, like a piece of rum cupcake fresh out of the oven, with the taste that would make your heart feel warm and comfortable.

“Is there anything good going on at school? Why are you so sweet?” Qi Han couldn’t help asking, catching  his hand.

Fu Ge breathed into his palms, pinched Qi Han’s ears and then slipped his cool hands into Qi Han’s clothes suddenly, to warm them up against his belly.

”No, can’t I just like you?”

Qi Han covered his hands through his clothes, looking at the sycamore leaves outside the window and remembering many years ago.

“Gege, do you remember? There used to be sycamores outside your studio, and you used to put your hands in my clothes every time you came out of class.”

Fu Ge narrowed his eyes with a smile, looking at Qi Han’s sharp, awe-inspiringly handsome face. His heart beat very fast, and he leaned over and whispered softly against Qi Han’s ear: ”Then do you remember what you always liked to do after I put my hand in?”

Qi Han smiled very frankly: ”I liked to be a rascal.”

As soon as the words were said, he grabbed the back of Fu Ge’s neck and kissed him.

The lunch break was precious, so Qi Han didn’t make too much trouble. He helped Fu Ge take off his coat and asked him to go to the back seat for lunch.

Fu Ge and Qi Han were wearing couple-style coats today. Under it, Fu Ge wore a very thin vintage-style loose shirt that revealed his silky creamy collarbones and the finest fluff on the back of the neck that looked very soft and pleasant to touch.

While holding the coke for him, Qi Han had already stretched out his hand.

His warm palm was very comfortable on the skin. Fu Ge felt numb and itchy, but didn’t avoid it. He was touched by Qi Han from head to toe and had long been accustomed to these clingy little tricks of the other party.

“Come and eat in my arms.” Qi Han squeezed and rubbed his earlobe: ”I’ll hold you for a while.”

Fu Ge was very agreeable today. He took a bite of the shrimp in the middle of the burger and sat down obediently, acting like a large warmer for the man.

The lunch was intimate and corny; he was touched to the point of being pink and his thin shirt was crumpled beyond recognition.

Fortunately, Qi Han kept his spare clothes in the car, otherwise he would get out of the car like this and anyone could see what he had done during his lunch break.

The van was very spacious, and the back seats could be used as a small bed after they were flattened. Qi Han lowered the curtains, lit the incense and hugged Fu Ge, wrapping him in a fleece blanket.

The autumn breeze outside the car was chilly, but inside the car it was warm. The precious time alone made people reluctant to close their eyes and sleep.

Qi Han looked at the falling sycamore leaves and thought about something. When he turned his head, he found that Fu Ge was also blinking at him with his bright black eyes.

The Alpha’s heart was as soft as the dense foam on the hot coffee, ”Baby, will you skip class this afternoon? Let’s go to our high school to have a look.”

Fu Ge nodded immediately, ”Okay, okay, fifteen credits for three classes. if you kneel for Grandpa all night, he won’t necessarily charge me.”

Qi Han: ”……”

Suddenly he regretted letting the child of his family go to the university.

Seeing him so aggrieved, like a big golden retriever who just wanted to go out to play but was rejected by the owner, Fu Ge couldn’t help laughing.

“So pitiful, President Qi?”

The Alpha looked at him blankly: ”It’s only been a few months since we got married and you’re already started snubbing me.” He looked like an abandoned woman.

Fu Ge couldn’t stop laughing, his shoulders shaking as he nestled in Qi Han’s arms, and he only converged a little bit after being spanked, obediently coaxing his Alpha.

The two buttons of the shirt were unbuttoned and the shirt was pulled down from the right shoulder. Fu Ge exposed the temporary bite mark that he carried all year round. When he spoke, his voice was soft and clingy: ”Ah Han, do you want to bite?”

The answer was naturally yes.

The first mark was made very quickly; Qi Han poured a lot of pheromones into Fu Ge’s blood, and the warmth that surged from his lower belly made him feel drowsy. The little Beta fell asleep before being bitten the second time.

But the marking and kissing didn’t stop.

At the end of the lunch break, his whole body was covered with hickey marks, and there was even a small pink trace on his neck that couldn’t be covered.

The weakness in his body had not yet passed, his arms and legs were too numb to lift, and his eyes were watering when he yawned.

After biting Qi Han’s chin angrily, Fu Ge got out of the car, and almost fell down when his legs went soft. Qi Han, sitting in the car, hurriedly stretched out his hand to support him.

The male student who got out of the luxury car, the weak legs, the tearful eyes, the watch on the wrist of the man in the car… The combination of all these elements, together with the plausible headline, seemed impossible not to make people have some thoughts.

So three days later, the post titled [Breaking news! The little prince of the Academy of Fine Arts is suspected of being kept, and the artist of the award-winning masterpiece ”Nirvana” is someone else] exploded on the school forum.

In less than an hour there were thousands of comments, and the trend was intensifying.

Since Fu Ge entered the school, rumours had been swirling around him. His beautiful face and noble temperament attracted a large number of followers in just one week. They guarded the door of the classroom every day to send flowers and confessions, and almost the whole school knew about the new student from the Academy of Fine Arts.

Although Qi Han repelled his suitors once, he also caused the rumours that Fu Ge had an off-campus boyfriend.

The gossip about the male god on campus is more fragrant than idol dramas. The students were privately speculating about Fu Ge’s family background and whether his relationship with the ”rich guy” was legitimate or not.

The young Beta was used to keeping a low profile and had a cold temperament. He didn’t make friends with anyone except his roommates, so they were the only ones who knew the truth while others were curious and had different opinions.

The post was sent out at the right time, just like a splash of water into a hot oil pan, immediately detonating public opinion.

Fu Ge also read the post; his roommate forwarded it to him. And he had to say that the original poster did write it in a reasonable and logical manner, even making the best use of some small details that Fu Ge himself didn’t pay attention to.

At the beginning of the post there were a few photos marked with the words ”proof” in bold red, namely: the million-yuan shoes that Fu Ge wore on his feet when he started school; Fu Ge leading a man who was obviously a person from the “high society” to eat starchy sausages, and then the man offering his hand to him, bowing low. 

Followed by photos of Fu Ge getting out of different luxury cars after his lunch break, as well as famous watches and items on his wrist and neck that changed every day.

These photos superimposed together at best showed that he was from a good family with strong financial resources, perhaps the young master of a wealthy family.

The replies under the post were also biassed towards Fu Ge—

[So what? What are you trying to say?]

[Woohoo, I knew that the background of my male god must not be simple. The young master of the wealthy family is still so good at painting, so I love him even more, okay?]

[Two million shoes? More expensive than my house? I can’t imagine the life of a wealthy man.]

[The original poster hates the rich, give me back the sour chicken!]

The original poster obviously didn’t plan to ”convict” Fu Ge by relying on a few photos. He first posted a large section of shady “praise and envy” and after being scolded by dozens of comments, another round of fierce material was posted.

It was a vague video.

In the video, Master Qi, a senior professor of the Academy of Fine Arts, personally admitted in class that Fu Ge’s child was his great-grandson. Coupled with the testimony of the students present, the relationship between grandfather and grandson was completely established.

This was originally harmless, not a black spot, but the bad thing was that Master Qi’s usual style was too frugal, and except for his obsession with collecting art from all over the world, there had never been any big expenditure. The clothes he was wearing were all cheap, and Fu Ge’s persona as ”the young master of a wealthy family” didn’t fit.

The wind direction of public opinion began to shift, and the original poster was very good at guiding public opinion, immediately questioning from the perspective of the underprivileged. 

“I admire Classmate Fu’s talent and skills very much, and of course I envy his prominent family background. But I really can’t understand how such a frugal old professor as Master Qi can have a grandson from a wealthy family. I can’t understand how someone who couldn’t even pass the entrance examination of the Academy of Fine Arts and had to go through the back door, could draw ”Nirvana” in just a few months and win the silver award.”

“Maybe Classmate Fu got awarded ‘on behalf of’ Master Qi.”

Firstly, he led the public opinion to suggest that Fu Ge’s rich family background was fake and then that the painting was drawn by Master Qi for him, which filled the students with curiosity and hatred.

After that, the original poster released the last proof: a photo of Fu Ge getting out of Qi Han’s car with his legs weak and his eyes moist.

In the photo, the little Beta was crouching by the door, slightly bent over, looking exhausted, while the man in the car sat with his legs crossed, dressed strictly. At the same time, there was an expensive watch on his wrist, so he was obviously a man in a position of authority.

Anyone could see the disparity in the status of the two of them. After the guidance of the previous long discussion, they couldn’t help but think of Fu Ge cautiously pleasing his ”golden master”.

[Although I don’t understand the life of the wealthy, it doesn’t feel like a normal couple in love.]

[Indeed, the one outside the car is obviously ingratiating himself.]

[Of course you have to please, otherwise where can two million shoes come from?]

[That’s the full package, right? Luxury cars,  famous watches, all signs of keeping a man. If the guy in the car is not the “golden master”, I’ll wash my head upside down.]

The original poster’s last follow-up post was released when the discussion was the hottest: ”If this is not evidence, I still have real proof here. The recording.”

Next to this sentence was the link to the recording. Fu Ge clicked on it and listened to it for fun. It was actually him calling Qi Han after morning class.

At that time, Ah Jue’s kindergarten was collecting tuition for the next quarter. After Fu Ge went to school, Qi Han confiscated his card, fearing that he would buy junk food indiscriminately. Only some pocket money was left on his phone.

So after Fu Ge received the news, he called Qi Han and asked him to pay the tuition for the child.

It was not much money, a total of 50,000, but the Alpha asked him what he’d do for him in exchange for this favour. Fu Ge was in a hurry to go to the cafeteria, so he said in a low voice: ”Please, President Qi, I will do whatever you want, okay?”

He didn’t expect that such a simple sentence would actually become real proof that he was kept by the so-called golden master.

No wonder Qi Han always played the role of a domineering president keeping a male student with him at home. This fantasy now turned into reality.

“Do something, Xiao Ge! Hurry up and make a post to clarify.” The little round-faced roommate crushed a biscuit in righteous indignation, with anger and worry on his face. ”Can you do that? I’ll do it for you if you don’t know how.”

Fu Ge was still looking down, and smiled without raising his head when he heard the words, ”No, it’s too much trouble.”

“Why not! Aren’t you angry?”

Not only was Fu Ge not angry, he even picked out two typos from the post: ”I just think this original poster is a talent, and he has been dormant for so long in order to make such a fuss, it’s quite impressive.”

Although he went to the university with these students, he didn’t really treat himself as a university student. If a man who had risen from the depths of hell could take a bunch of kids seriously, then he had lived the previous five years in vain.

What’s more, rumours couldn’t be stopped by reasoning. The more you replied to public opinion, the more difficult it was to calm it down. Fu Ge just wanted to concentrate on painting, and the opinions of outsiders had no negative impact on him.

The most he could do was to take it as a joke and forget about it.

But some people didn’t think so.

In the Chamber of Commerce, Qi Han looked at the information compiled by the bodyguards who stayed by Fu Ge’s side. There were ten pages of the post comments printed out alone.

He flipped through them with a furrowed brow and licked his back teeth in disbelief: ”These students are too idle.”

However, half a minute later, President Qi, who was too idle, called the head of the university: ”I heard that your school is holding a seminar for all students and teachers next week, is that right?”

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Pain Fetish Extra 4

The white windmills slowly swayed through the summer, and the distant hills cut off the autumn in the estate.

At seven o’clock in the morning, the little bear alarm clock on the bedside went off, and a big hand quickly stretched out to stop it.

Qi Han raised his arm to block his eyes. The bridge of his nose was like a mountain, his thin lips pursed into a bone-cutting line, and when he turned around to hug the chilled person in his arms, Fu Ge’s arms contrasting with Qi Han’s wheat-coloured bulging muscles looked even more slender.

The little Beta nestled in his arms affectionately. His moist eyes were like clear pearls. He was so sleepy that he meowed like a kitten.

“Do I have another class today?…”

“Uh-huh.” Qi Han closed his eyes and smiled, buried his head in Fu Ge’s neck and kissed it: ”If you don’t want to get up, don’t go. I’ll go to school for you.”

Fu Ge woke up with a smile when he heard the words and rubbed his hot face against Qi Han’s palm: ”Big Brother, you are standing in the classroom like a telegraph pole. The teacher doesn’t need to call names to know that I’m not there.”

Qi Han also smiled; one hand slid down to pinch the soft flesh on Fu Ge’s waist, while the other rubbed his chest, teasing him in punishment, ”Disliking me when I’m ready to go to school for you?”

Fu Ge pretended to beg for mercy: ”Okay, okay, I dare not, don’t bully people.”

The Alpha was always full of energy, and within a few minutes he was completely awake, propping himself up on the bed and supporting his head with one hand.

The quilt slid down, revealing his strong, muscular body, sexy and lazy.

The little Beta hid in the quilt and peeked with a smile, unable to hold back from reaching out to touch his pectoral muscles: ”It’s so beautiful, especially when you move.”

Qi Han’s heart trembled when he was teased; he quickly grabbed the restless hand and kissed it, his voice raspy with the unique hoarseness of the morning: ”It’s so early, what are you teasing me for? And you don’t want to go to class anymore, do you?”

Fu Ge hurriedly put his little paw back into the quilt, ”If you don’t want to be touched, forget it.”

“Good baby, touch whatever you want at night.” Qi Han lowered his head and pecked between Fu Ge’s eyebrows, then nudged the tip of his nose: ”There is still time, go to sleep for a while.”

There was a small round bulge in the middle of the bed under the thick velvet quilt, and it was undulating like a caterpillar while breathing. Qi Han reached in, pulled out the little Ah Jue who was sleeping on all fours and cupped his chubby cheeks: “Wake up, son.”

The child was getting very independent very quickly. Since the two of them got married, he didn’t sleep with Fu Ge. He would hug his papa every day, rub against his face and then reluctantly carry his small pillow back to his room.

Only on Monday night as a welfare day would he be put in the master bedroom to spend time with his dads and listen to the German picture books that Qi Han read to Fu Ge.

Qi Chuan taught him not to knock on the doors of his dads after ten o’clock in the evening, otherwise Big Daddy would eat children if he got angry, making Ah Jue feel frightened and very fortunate: Oh, I haven’t been eaten today!

Qi Han casually put on a piece of clothes on himself, and then lifted Ah Jue’s little bottom to take him to the bathroom.

The child hadn’t woken up yet, sitting on his arm and sleeping like a little pig, and he didn’t even open his eyes when he was placed on a low stool. His curly head bobbed in the mirror as if he was paying respects. Qi Han didn’t know whether to cry or to laugh, so he flicked some water on his face, ”Wake up, Xiao Bao is waiting for you to go to school together.”

Xiao Jue woke up with a start, his eyes huge like copper bells, and he listened to Qi Han’s instructions like a little robot: ”Open your mouth. Put the toothbrush in your mouth, brush ten times up and down, left and right.”

Seeing that the child next to him had almost finished brushing his teeth, Qi Han spat out the water in his mouth and at the same time told him: ”Okay, rinse your mouth.”

Xiao Jue said vaguely with the toothbrush in his mouth: ”Wait, Big Dad, not ten times yet.”

“How many times?”

Xiao Jue suddenly stopped moving and was stunned: ”Oh no, I forgot…”

Qi Han: ”…Brother Jue is really amazing.”

He washed Ah Jue’s face with warm water and combed the little curls on the top of his head, then lifted him into the air and tossed him up a few times. ”Come on, let’s go get the outfit for our handsome little guy.”

The child was so excited to be tossed up that he praised Qi Han: ”Hehehe, so fierce!”

The cloakroom at home was particularly large, equivalent to two classrooms together, stretching between the master bedroom and the children’s room, with doors leading to each bedroom.

Half of the space in the cloakroom was used for clothes for the family of three, and the other half was used for shady cheongsams and swimwear, with the space allocated for Qi Han’s shoes and ties.

Since he put on a parent-child outfit on Fu Ge and Ah Jue on the first day at school, Qi Han acquired a hobby of dressing up the father and son, and specially found a designer to customise dozens of various styles of parent-child outfits, never tiring of matching them every day.

Standing in front of a wardrobe that was twice taller than him, Xiao Jue raised his head to take a look at the clothes, and then turned to take a look at his father, as if asking him what he wanted to match.

Qi Han glanced at him and asked him to choose for himself: ”What’s the matter, Brother Jue, do you want to go for the sweet boy style or the cool kid style today?”

The child was quite in difficulty, stood on tiptoe and said to him shyly: ”I want the style that can take Xiao Bao down at a glance.”

The ambition was neither too big nor too small, and Qi Han was very happy, ”Then I think this set will be perfectly fine.”

He took out a western cowboy outfit: dark jeans and a vintage leather jacket, as well as a matching striped silk scarf. Xiao Jue looked up at him with round eyes and let Qi Han dress him.

Finally, with the belt and the hat, he was a cute little cowboy who was robbing people for lollipops before his first birthday.

Xiao Jue posed several times in front of the mirror, asking, ”Am I handsome, Big Dad?”

Qi Han gave him a very appreciative whistle: ”Handsome like hell.”

The child laughed and kicked his legs, fell straight to the side and lay on the carpet, ”Fainted.”

Next to the mirror was the cheongsam cabinet, with a wide range of cheongsams of various colours displayed behind the glass, from lighter to darker colours, and increasingly complex styles.

Xiao Jue couldn’t distinguish between the exquisite styles and intricate patterns, but only knew that these were dresses worn by girls, and asked blankly, ”Daddy, whose are these pretty dresses?”

“You papa’s.”

“But isn’t papa a boy?”

Qi Han was buttoning his shirt, and when he heard the words, he casually replied: ”As long as you like it, boys and girls can wear dresses.”

The child didn’t understand: ”Why have I never seen papa wear it?”

“No way, it would be bad for you to see it, he can only wear them for me to see.”

Xiao Jue wasn’t happy: ”Why only show them to Big Dad!”

Qi Han raised his hand and knocked on his forehead: ”Because Dad’s happiness is beyond your imagination.”

Xiao Jue was very depressed, turned away and presented Qi Han with the back of his head: ”Hmph!”


Days that are too comfortable are always exhausting. People are sleepy in spring, sleepy in autumn, and napping in summer. Fu Ge had been staying in bed a lot since the autumn started, like a little lazy cat.

He couldn’t get enough sleep, and coupled with the body temperature and pheromones of the Alpha under the quilt warming him, it became more and more difficult to get up.

At eight o’clock in the morning, he would wait for Ah Jue to go to class and then run back to the bed to sleep, sometimes pestering Qi Han to accompany him.

The Alpha liked to see him coquettish, not to mention wanting to raise him to be a little wayward, so he was happy to spoil him. As long as it was an option, he would get him a leave from classes.

Parents didn’t spoil kindergarten children like that!

Qi Han packed up Ah Jue before going back to the bedroom to call Fu Ge, holding an enlarged version of the vintage denim outfit in his hand, and first put it on the heater to warm it up for a while, so that it wasn’t cold when Fu Ge put it on.

Today Xiao Jue was one step faster than him. He launched himself onto the bed with a whoop like a small cannonball, and asked proudly with his chin raised:

“Papa, look how handsome I am today! Big Dad said I look like a werewolf from the north!”

Fu Ge smiled immediately, ”I think you look like a piggy from the south.”

The child pretended to pout sadly: ”Papa!”

Qi Han also unkindly laughed at him, lifted the little piggy and blasted him out the door: ”Okay, stop making trouble, go have breakfast by yourself, pay attention to the time.”

“I know!” After speaking, Ah Jue ran out head over heels.


The busy morning finally reached a brief moment of peace and quiet, as Fu Ge lazily lay under the quilt, blatantly hugging Qi Han’s pyjamas and sniffing them.

A toe poked out of the quilt and stepped on Qi Han’s thigh.

Qi Han’s eyes darkened, and the hand that was holding the belt on the bedside cabinet suddenly stopped. He folded the black leather in two, clutched it in his palm and asked: ”Where are you stepping? Asking for trouble again?”

One of them was lying down, the other was standing, and the Alpha’s hands playing with the belt were extremely strong and tough, every muscle containing an explosive power that Fu Ge had tasted himself.

Even the simple movements looked oppressive.

The little Beta let out a non-committal ”hmm” and hid his blushing face, sulking in a sultry voice: ”But I don’t have time. Will you save it for tonight?”

Qi Han couldn’t resist and teased him, ”Aren’t you afraid I’ll whip you to pieces at night?”

Fu Ge couldn’t wait, but kept his face somewhat reserved: ”You’re not willing.”

“Yes, yes, don’t talk about it if you know I’m not willing.” Qi Han reached into the quilt and touched his ankle, ”I’m sorry, little princess, can I wake you up with a kiss?”

The little Beta’s eyes curled in a smile: ”Well… it’s not impossible.”

Qi Han was waiting for these words, and immediately pounced on him, cupping his chin and kissing him for a while, until Fu Ge was out of breath.

“Get up obediently, you’re going to be late for class.”

Fu Ge grunted a little and held out his hand reluctantly.

Qi Han pulled him into his arms, wrapped him in a quilt, slowly took off his pyjamas, then took the clothes from the heater and put them on him piece by piece. Finally, when he put woollen socks on Fu Ge’s feet, he lowered his head and kissed the thin white ankle.

It was much more meticulous than taking care of Ah Jue, and every move was full of doting.

“You are always like this, no wonder Ah Jue is sad.” Fu Ge whispered as he lay on his back.

“Sad about what?”

“Sad you aren’t as gentle with him as with me. He once secretly told me that you haven’t called him ‘baby’ since you knew he would differentiate into Alpha. He’s not a baby anymore, don’t you love him anymore?”

Qi Han didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry: ”If you’re already a little Alpha, you can’t be a little baby. Grandpa and you are too indulgent with him. If I’m not more strict, we’ll raise him too soft.”

Fu Ge understood what he meant, but he still couldn’t bear it: ”He’ll be disappointed. You can spoil him for another two years, otherwise he won’t be close to you.”

“That won’t happen.” Qi Han was very sure.

“So confident?”

“Uh-huh.” The Alpha thought of something, and his light smile went straight to the bottom of his eyes: ”He said I was his pride.”

Fu Ge looked at the little boyishness in his austere brow, and his heart was as soft as the melting ice cream. His cheeks flushed; he tilted his head and kissed Qi Han’s lips and nose, ”Not just Ah Jue’s pride.”

He whispered to Qi Han’s ear: ”You’re also my pride.”

The manic, brutal little wolf had changed so much; his fangs and claws had been tucked away, replaced by a romantic tenderness for his family

and a stiff shoulder for outsiders.

He was like a towering tree standing in the estate, with lush branches and leaves, using his trunk to build a shelter for them from the wind and rain.

No matter where Fu Ge and Ah Jue were, they could feel the love and security he always gave them.

When the loveless child grew up, he gave his family endless, long-lasting love.


The distance from the estate to the kindergarten was longer than to the Chamber of Commerce and the university, so Ah Jue had to set off first. The driver was ready and the bodyguard was waiting at the door. When he saw the little master coming out, he stepped forward to take his big school bag.

Xiao Jue dodged, ”No need, Uncle, I can do it myself.”

Qi Han looked particularly pleased, followed him to the gate of the estate, gave a few words of advice, and when he turned back, he cut off a fresh Juliet rose in the flower field.

He would give Fu Ge the most beautiful flowers in the estate every day, and the peach-pink double-petaled roses with dew would never go out of style. His little Beta couldn’t help but kiss him standing on tiptoe every time he received it.

He picked off the outer layer of petals and placed them in the glass fragrance vase by the door, tidied up the remaining delicate petals a little and cut off the excess stem and small thorns. The Juliet rose turned into a fine rose brooch in the blink of an eye, and Qi Han put it in Fu Ge’s chest pocket.

The vintage-style leather jacket, the rose brooch of an English gentleman, gangsterism and elegance were paradoxically combined in this outfit, with a kind of London street fog-like romance.

“Just lower your head and smell the rose when you miss me.” Qi Han hugged him from behind, and the two looked at each other quietly in the mirror in front of them.

The little Beta raised his hand and flicked the hand-made brooch in his pocket, turned his head and rubbed against the tip of Qi Han’s nose: ”Mr. Bear Cub’s ability to sell romance is never exhausted.”

Qi Han groaned, lowered his head and kissed the corners of his eyes: ”Because I am only giving it to you.”

You are my light, my wind and moon, my salvation and my love.


After a hasty breakfast, the two went out together. Qi Han drove Fu Ge to school first to go to the Chamber of Commerce after that.

Before Fu Ge got out of the car, he handed Qi Han a small paper bag with a lot of things in it. He rummaged through it to teach Qi Han how to use it.

“These two are scent blockers, spray ones, both bellflower and orange blossom, depending on which one you like. There is a pear soup in the thermos. I filtered out all the solids, it is not too sweet, so drink a little bit if your throat is uncomfortable. And these chocolates, Qi Chuan brought them from Dubai two days ago. If you feel a headache or irritability, just chew two of them.”

Qi Han was amused to see him stocking up like a little squirrel for the winter, and deliberately asked, ”Is there a filling in the chocolates?”

“There should be, I haven’t had the chance to eat it yet…” Fu Ge said, opening the box, peeling one and putting it in his mouth. The mellow sweetness of hazelnuts mixed with the slight bitterness immediately exploded in his mouth, and he squinted contentedly: ”It’s delicious.”

Qi Han knew when he looked at his little face that he was greedy again, and coaxed him to peel another one of another shape, ”Is there a filling in this one?”

“No, but it’s still delicious.”

“Try that duck one.”

“Okay, okay.”

As soon as he ate the chocolate that tasted good, he was easily addicted to it, and he couldn’t stop taking one bite at a time. Under Qi Han’s coaxing, he lowered his head and tasted the chocolates carefully.

When he looked into the box again, he was obviously stunned: ”I… why did I eat them all…”

Qi Han was holding back a smile and looked at him: ”If I don’t stop you, will you eat snacks until you’re full?”

Fu Ge touched his head in embarrassment. He was so old and was caught eating snacks. ”Then why didn’t you stop me just now?”

Qi Han squeezed the box and shook it, ”No more chocolate is allowed this week.”

It turned out it was a trap. The little Beta said ”oh” unhappily, and then added, ”Wait a minute, I’ll go down and buy you a box of sweets.”

“No, I don’t eat them when I work.”

He also wondered why Fu Ge suddenly wanted him to bring chocolate to work. He had never liked this thing.

The little Beta naturally said: ”Sweets can relieve mania.”

Qi Han was taken aback: ”Then am I manic every day in gege’s eyes?” He pretended to be particularly aggrieved.

“No, no!” Fu Ge hurriedly took his hand and coaxed him with a smile: ”Not manic at all, President Qi is very calm and reasonable.”

Qi Han didn’t believe it: ”Are you scolding me in another way?”

“What am I scolding you for, this is all said in the book!”

After being held in Qi Han’s arms that day and educated on the growing pains of Alpha, Fu Ge paid attention to this aspect seriously. After all, there were two Alphas in the family, one big and one small, you couldn’t afford being sloppy.

After reading the book carefully, he learnt that the growing pains of an Alpha who differentiated under external stimulation would last for a long time. In short cases, they lasted throughout adolescence, and in long cases they did not dissipate until the age of thirty-five.

In addition to the painful rut periods, the symptoms of growing pains varied from season to season.

In spring and winter, Alphas could be mildly allergic, have a high libido and crave the touch of a mate, while in summer and autumn they could be irritable and easily lose control, while at the same time being sensitive and inexplicably sad and depressed.

In addition to the specific symptoms, the book also contained the right remedies for the symptoms, and Fu Ge had prepared them for Qi Han exactly as it said in order to make him more or less comfortable during the onset of growing pains.

But Qi Han seemed to be completely unaware of it.

“Don’t you know anything about this?” Fu Ge asked, not quite sure, ”Or are your growing pains already cured because of the differentiation into E?”

Qi Han looked at him in a daze and reacted after a long time. ”I know, not cured, just…”

“Just what?” The little Beta blinked blankly.

Qi Han suddenly hugged him and said, ”It’s just a bit sudden, well… this was supposed to be something my parents should have done.”

Fu Ge moved his lips stiffly in understanding. The normal age of AO differentiation was 16-17 years old, and the growing pains would begin after differentiation. This was not a serious problem, but only a small affliction that adolescents were ashamed to declare. Most boys and girls didn’t know how to deal with it, so they could only be guided by their parents to slowly adjust.

Unfortunately, since Qi Han was fourteen years old, he was not able to get the help of his parents through his troubled adolescence.

The forced differentiation under the action of external forces caused his growing pains to be particularly long, starting at the age of fourteen and continuing to the present, and becoming more and more severe.

No one told him the cause of those strange physical reactions, and no one taught him how to make himself less uncomfortable when it hurt.

The manic irritability under the dual stimulation of psychological shadow and physical pain became more and more serious, and he completely lost control at the age of eighteen and did unforgivable things to his young lover.

But Qi Han never said a word about it to Fu Ge, he didn’t want to find any justification for his mistakes.

Now that Fu Ge naturally thought of this, his heart ached, and he said in a low voice: ”I didn’t think of anything else, I just suddenly read this in a book and wanted to help you relieve it. But I don’t know much more than that, so I have to keep learning.”

He blushed as he said that, and muttered, ”I know this is what your parents should do, but if Uncle and Aunt are not here, can’t I do it instead? It’s indeed a few years late, but it’s always better to adjust slowly…”

Qi Han was a little dumbfounded, and suddenly felt as if he, such a big person, was carefully held in his arms by Fu Ge, ”You… You will help me adjust? Gege, do you understand the nature of this matter…”

The tips of the little Beta’s ears blushed: ”I read and I understand.”

Helping an Alpha adjust to growing pains was similar to teaching a boy who had left traces on the sheets for the first time how to be an adult.

No one will let their mate do it, unless they find an older bride.

Fu Ge was embarrassed and Qi Han’s expression wasn’t quite natural, as if he was ashamed of soiling the sheets for the first time after a good dream.

“Actually, this is just a small problem, gege, don’t worry about it.” He said with a wooden face.

Fu Ge’s face was hot, but he still hung his head and retorted: ”But all the other Alphas are taken care of, and I want you to be taken care of too.”

He blurted it out, with a bit of waywardness in his gentle tone that he didn’t even realise.

But Qi Han realised it, and his heart suddenly softened into a cloud of candy floss. Looking at Fu Ge’s obedient expression, he didn’t even know how to love him.

“Just spoiling me like that?” He poked Fu Ge’s face, got it cheap and acted cute. ”Can’t see me suffer a little grievance?”

Fu Ge muttered sullenly, ”You know the answer, you are my husband, who shouldn’t I spoil…”

Qi Han was caught off guard by being called “husband” and impatiently grabbed the little Beta: ”Good baby, say it again.”

Fu Ge was so embarrassed that he was squirming like an ant and had nowhere to hide, ”Won’t say, you’re annoying, won’t help you then.”

“Help help help, I didn’t say no, I was afraid you’d be embarrassed!”

When he mentioned this, Fu Ge wanted to explode, ”What am I embarrassed about? If I was really that thin-skinned, I would have been shamed to death eight hundred times by you, shameless rascal!”

Qi Han felt wronged but didn’t dare to argue and could only mutter: ”Why do you suddenly scold me so endlessly…”

“I just want to scold you, can’t I?!”

“…Scold, scold, I don’t mind.”

Qi Han made a low bow, pulled out the book from his bag, pretending to read it, but in fact his eyes followed Fu Ge, ”So, gege, do you know how to help me adjust?”

When it came to this, Fu Ge’s anger immediately disappeared, and he said quietly: ”Just help you…”

“How exactly? Give an example.”

“Oh, okay.” The little Beta took a deep breath, ”Coax you when you feel uncomfortable, accompany you when you want, and use more pheromones for soothing. I don’t have pheromones, I can replace them with prolonged physical contact…”

Qi Han was so happy that he spoke his heart out directly: ”There is such a good thing?”

Fu Ge glanced at him askance: ”What?”

Qi Han quickly suppressed his smirk: ”I mean, is it that simple?”

“No really, I heard that medication can be used instead of physical contact. I’m learning about it.”

“Then don’t learn.”


In the next second, Qi Han lowered the seat and pressed him down on the passenger side. ”I don’t want medicine, I just want you to cure me.”

The car window glass was covered with anti-peep film, and Fu Ge was not afraid of being seen by his classmates, but he was talking nicely one second and the next second his shirt was taken off. He was really a little confused and unable to react.

“Ah, Ah Han… Wait a minute, why are you in heat anytime, anywhere…”

Qi Han held both of his hands above his head, kissed the skin behind his ear roughly and said confidently: ”Growing pains, strong sexual desire, didn’t the book say that?”

“But that’s a symptom of spring, it’s autumn now!” Fu Ge blushed and pushed Qi Han’s shoulder: ”You, don’t use illness to cheat, it’s not that I don’t understand anything…”

“You understand, you understand everything best.” Fu Ge was so good, Qi Han didn’t want to wait for a minute. There was a crazy energy in all his movements. ”But my symptoms are mixed all year round, not only strong but also sensitive. If you don’t say yes to me, I’ll be cranky and think you don’t love me.”

Fu Ge didn’t believe it but still hesitated: ”Really?”

Qi Han said righteously: ”Yes, I have been sick for so many years, of course I am in disorder.”

Fu Ge: ”……”

After being forcibly pressed to the seat for ten minutes, Fu Ge touched the bitten and swollen area on the back of his neck and asked in a daze, ”Ah Han, are we forgetting something? I somehow feel a chill on my back…”

Qi Han put a suppression sticker on him and said, ”It’s okay.”

As soon as the words were spoken, Fu Ge’s mobile phone rang, and the word ”Grandpa” flashed on the screen ominously. The little Beta woke up as if getting a blow in the head: ”Oh no, we’re here for class!”

“I’m three minutes late, Qi Han, you pay me back my credits!”

Previous / ToC / Next

Pain Fetish Extra 3

In the second week after the couple returned from their honeymoon, the little Ah Jue had a big disaster. At a young age, he had a proud record of his parents being called up by the teacher.

The reason was that the physical education teacher saw that his physical fitness was too outstanding, and his intelligence and strength surpassed that of other children too much, so he casually predicted that this child would definitely differentiate into Alpha in the future. Ah Jue, who went to the office to hand in the manual, heard it and was instantly in distress.

He was going to be a little bride of Xiao Bao, how could he turn into an Alpha! Wouldn’t the little boyfriend in his hand fly away!

Children’s minds are always strange and simple, full of all sorts of wild and unwarranted speculations.

Xiao Bao, who lived at the foot of the mountain, had decided for some reason that he would definitely turn into a tall and powerful Alpha. Meanwhile, the little Ah Jue thought that Alpha could only be with Omega or Beta, which left him with only two of three possible paths and one dead end.

And now fate was pushing him to that ”dead” end.

When he heard that he was going to turn into an Alpha, he felt that the sky was falling. The stubborn boy, who had never cried before, stood in front of the office, took a big gulp of air and cried so loudly that his snot ran into his mouth.

The teacher came out to coax him and was at a loss: ”What’s wrong?”

Ah Jue cried harder: ”Gone!”

The teacher wondered: ”What’s gone? Did Ah Jue lose something?”

Ah Jue clutched his chest sadly: ”Oh oh oh, wife is gone!”

The teacher snorted out a laugh, unable to empathise with him.

Xiao Jue was already sad enough to stand being ridiculed. He angrily snapped at the teacher with a fierce face and after returning to the class, he beat an innocent little friend.


The children were fighting in the kindergarten and the incident was a serious one. The teacher directly called the parents. At that time, Qi Han was in a meeting, and Fu Ge had to ask for leave from class to go there.

There was a small incident with asking for leave.

Three o’clock in the afternoon happened to be Elder Qi’s class. As the grandson of the old man, Fu Ge first sent him a private text message.

But the old man didn’t bring his mobile phone to class at all. In desperation, Fu Ge could only raise his hand to signal. Elder Qi thought he was going to the toilet, so he immediately frowned.

”Class is over in less than ten minutes, can’t you bear it?”

Fu Ge never wanted to appear special at school, so the students of the Academy of Fine Arts didn’t know their relationship. The little Beta stood from his seat in embarrassment, cleared his throat and said in a low voice: ”Sorry, Teacher, I have to go to kindergarten. The children are fighting and the parents are called.”

When the old gentleman heard this, he immediately became upset: ”What are you talking about? My great-grandson was beaten!”

The chalk was thrown and the cane was raised. The grandfather’s heart trembled with eagerness as he pushed up his glasses and walked to the door: ”Let’s go, let’s go, I’ll go with you. My great-grandson is so good, how can he be beaten and crying…”

He spoke so fast that Fu Ge didn’t have time to stop him, and when he rushed to the podium, the classmates had already begun to whisper.

A few little Omegas lowered their heads and gossiped: ”Hey hey, what does the new Beta have to do with Professor Qi?”

“Great-grandson? Is the Professor talking about his great-grandson? Is Fu Ge’s child Professor’s great-grandson?! Damn, what a big melon (subject for gossip) this is!”

“Wait! Am I the only one who noticed that the male god has a child? He started a family in his twenties, if this is not marrying early, then what is?!!”

There was no shortage of students who were not only curious: ”Ha, no wonder he won the silver medal in his first competition, he is the grandson of Master Qi. We mere mortals are no match for him.”

The small-scale fluctuation had a tendency to intensify. Seeing that their relationship between grandfather and grandson couldn’t be concealed, Fu Ge didn’t care much. The child was most important.

He put his hand on the old man’s cane to stop him. ”I can go by myself, you’re still in class, what are you running around for?”

After saying that, he added: ”Your great-grandson hasn’t been beaten. He beat up other children. He is as strong as a calf, who can bully him.”

The old gentleman immediately calmed down when he heard the words and pushed up his glasses in satisfaction: ”It’s good that he hasn’t been bullied. Deserves to be my great-grandson.”

Fu Ge squinted his eyes and glanced at him, and Elder Qi instantly changed his face: ”This little bastard! It’s definitely not right to beat people. He’s so well behaved, he must have been taught by Qi Han. Go home and clean up Qi Han, and don’t hit Xiao Jue.”

Even at this time, he didn’t forget to excuse his great-grandson. Fu Ge sighed helplessly and walked away quickly.

When he arrived at the kindergarten, the parents of the other party had already arrived. The child was not beaten, he just fell and hit his butt.

In fact, he was completely scared by Ah Jue’s fierce appearance, so he cried.

After Fu Ge apologised profusely, the parents also expressed their forgiveness, only Ah Jue kept his head down and didn’t say anything, no matter what.

He didn’t apologise to the child, he was as stubborn as a bull, and Fu Ge was so angry that he slapped him on the ass and felt distressed after beating him.

Instead of going back to class, he drove directly back home. On the way, he turned to the bookstore to buy a lot of books on children’s education and prepared to go back and have a good talk with Ah Jue after they got home.

Unexpectedly, as soon as Ah Jue entered the house, he ran to his room without looking back, and locked the door, refusing to communicate.

Was this entering the rebellious period prematurely?

Fu Ge rubbed his forehead and sighed for a long time.

He couldn’t knock on the child’s door, and he didn’t want to break in violently. He could only put the dinner at Ah Jue’s door and pick out two books for himself.

Fu Ge thought he was not a good father. His own father died early, so he was always lacking in fatherly love.

He was also emotionally stunted because of his psychological problems, and he really couldn’t understand the troubles and frustration of a child.

After reading hard until ten o’clock in the evening, he still couldn’t get a clue, so he slumped on the table and dozed off.

When Qi Han came home, he saw the little Beta shrinking on the sofa in the living room, his whole body sinking into the soft sofa bonelessly.

The thin sweater outlined his slender waist and flat abdomen, and the hem was rolled up, revealing a narrow strip of white skin, smooth and shining like cream in the night light.

The Alpha, who had been tired after a long day of work, felt numb and itchy in his heart. His unscrupulous hands reached under the hem of the sweater and touched Fu Ge’s chest all the way. The sleeping man frowned and snorted, and was scooped up into Qi Han’s arms the next second, with the Alpha sniffing like a large dog in heat.

“Why are you sleeping here, are you not afraid of catching a cold?” He also managed to lecture him in a dignified manner while touching and sniffing.

Fu Ge didn’t resist in a daze, ”Yeah… waited for you to come back. Have you eaten yet? Shall I give you a bowl of rice noodles?”

“Don’t bother, I don’t want to eat it.” Qi Han closed his eyes and took a deep breath, buried his head in the nook of Fu Ge’s shoulder and sighed: ”It’s been meetings for two days in a row. I’m exhausted, gege, recharge my batteries.”

Fu Ge knew that Qi Han had been working hard recently, so he obediently sat on his lap with just a soft ”hmm”, letting the Alpha rub him with his hands up and down, drowsy.

Soon the sleepiness was almost gone, but his eyes were getting moist.

“Why are you always…like this…”

The little Beta rubbed against his neck with a blushing face, trembling uncontrollably, feeling that he couldn’t sit still when the back of his sweater was lifted.

“Not here… Ah Jue will come out to see…”

Qi Han smiled and wrapped him in a blanket, ”It’s okay, can’t see it anymore, will you behave?”

He could guess that Fu Ge must be making up his mind, pretended to stop and asked like a big bad wolf: ”Am I always like what? Are you scolding me again?”

The little Beta’s throat was tight, and he muttered a few words like a kitten meowing. Qi Han laughed when he heard it: ”Horny? Why am I horny? Just because I always want to touch you?”

Fu Ge blushed and didn’t say anything for a long time. His face was hot when he finally said: ”As long as we are together, your hands… always restless, either holding me or… touching up and down, how can a serious person be like you…”

Qi Han was taken aback for a moment, and then laughed without restraint, not ashamed but proud. Catching his kitten’s tail, he teased desperately: ”Little ancestor, you have done everything, and now you’re shy because of this? Where have I not touched you before?”

“Besides, am I not restrained now? I go to the Chamber of Commerce every day and leave early and return late. I only have so much time to see you. If it weren’t for Ah Jue still there, I’d make you take off your clothes and wait naked for me to come home, so there’s no need to be so—”

“Shut up, you pervert!” Seeing that what he said was getting more and more reckless, Fu Ge quickly covered his mouth, ”Do you even listen to yourself? What are you talking about, what I’m wearing now… isn’t it little enough…”

There was air-conditioning and floor heating all year round at home, and Fu Ge was only allowed to wear a thin sweater in the living room. In the bedroom, Qi Han didn’t even let him wear a complete piece of clothing, except for a cheongsam or a swimsuit.

Also to be torn apart…

Since his shady hobby was revealed, Qi Han bought enough cheongsams to fill two dressing rooms, and happily played dress-up with Fu Ge every day.

Fu Ge marvelled at how a person could be so brazen, still regretting the time he once seduced Qi Han in the car and was fed so full that he couldn’t stand it anymore.

“Ah Han, I thought for a while, why don’t we change the frequency to once every two days?” His cheeks were flushed, he was sweating profusely, and his head was hanging low. He looked pitiful and cute: ”It’s a bit too much every day… I’m afraid you’ll have kidney problems in the future…” (kidneys are considered to be connected to sexual function for men)

Qi Han hugged him and pondered for a while, raised his hand and rubbed the back of his head, asking softly: ”Gege, I remember that high school has physical hygiene class, and Betas also have to take it. Have you never gone there?”

Fu Ge didn’t know how the topic moved there, so he replied honestly: ”No, I was too embarrassed to listen, I just ran to the studio to paint…”

Qi Han smiled: ”No wonder.”

“Hmm? No wonder what?”

When Fu Ge asked this, his cheeks were peach pink, his lips that had been kissed were shining and moist, and his eyes were clear and ignorant like the eyes of an untouched virgin.

Qi Han involuntarily took him into his arms, and his voice became lighter and softer: ”Baby, am I causing you trouble? I want too much, is it making you uncomfortable?”

With a blast, Fu Ge’s eyes suddenly glared, blood rushed to his face, and he looked so bashful he was about to faint.

“No! No…” He explained hesitantly. ”That’s not what I meant. I’ve never been uncomfortable. I’m just worried about you. I’m afraid you will be greedy now, and your body will not be able to handle it in the future…”

It was true that no matter how much in lust Qi Han was, he had never violated his will. His desire to control in bed was indeed strong, but strong in just the right way. He was dominant in bed, but with just the right amount of forcefulness to make Fu Ge fall under his spell.

Of course, Fu Ge was embarrassed to say that he liked this, so he could only change the subject and say, ”I heard others say that it’s normal two or three times a week. Too much… is bad for the body…”

Qi Han: ”Who did you listen to?”

Fu Ge flattened his mouth: ”My dorm roommate…”

“Your roommate?” Qi Han licked his back teeth and instantly sat upright with Fu Ge in his arms: ”You don’t allow me to talk dirty in bed, but run to talk to your roommate about dirty jokes?”

“No, no!” The little Beta grabbed his collar embarrassedly. ”They were chatting during the lunch break, and I accidentally heard it.”

Fu Ge’s roommates were all Beta, and two of them also found Alpha boyfriends. They usually talked about more private topics during casual conversations.

Fu Ge accidentally overheard an earful that day, only to know that other Alphas would not do it every day, or even meet as often as they did, for fear of getting weakened and wilted.

After the beans were spilled, Qi Han still asked relentlessly: ”Is that all? You didn’t hear anything else?”

Fu Ge rubbed his face against him shyly, like a child who did something wrong: ”Really nothing more, I put on my headphones after I heard what they were talking about.”

“Okay.” Qi Han reluctantly accepted his answer and began to tease him again: ”Then shouldn’t you be proud? Your husband is more fierce than others’ boyfriends.”

Fu Ge was so ashamed that he closed his eyes, raised his hand and gave Qi Han a soft punch, threatening sternly: ”I’m serious with you! You have to be more restrained from now on, at most once every two, no, once every three days.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, Qi Han took him into his arms and murmured, helpless and amused, against his forehead: ”Good boy, what can I do with you? My little trash baby has no common knowledge at all.”

He picked up a popular science book related to Alpha growth and development from the pile of books on the table, opened the table of contents, quickly found ”growing pains” and flipped to the corresponding page. He pointed to the third paragraph to show Fu Ge: ”Come on, gege, read it.”

Fu Ge subconsciously did as he was told: ”As Alpha’s glands mature, intelligence, physical ability and sexual needs also gradually increase. Especially when their level is optimised, the demand will also be five… to six times bigger than that of an ordinary Alpha. Often, because they can’t get adequate… soothing from their mate, there are cases of Alpha suffering from mania…”

Why was this not the same as what the roommate said!

Don’t you weaken and wilt if you do it more times?

He was worried for a long time whether Qi Han would have kidney problems when he got old…

But if the need of a high-level Alpha is five to six times higher, then for Enigma, it will be… how many times higher?…

Fu Ge blushed and buried his face in the nook of Qi Han’s shoulder, not daring to think about it anymore.

“Now you know how restrained I am?” Qi Han got it cheap and acted cute (meaning that he took advantage but pretended to be taken advantage of). ”If it weren’t for fear that you wouldn’t be able to stand it, I wouldn’t have enough doing it once a day. Change it to once every three days, I will really get sick.”

Fu Ge was defeated but resisted weakly: ”I didn’t know about this… you haven’t even told me…”

Qi Han complained of being accused wrongly: ”I haven’t told you before? Every time I say that I want you to stay with me more, you are shy, and I am not allowed to talk about it anymore!”

“That’s also because! Because… everything you say is like talking dirty, I can’t hear which sentence is serious…” Fu Ge complained ruefully. ”You Alphas are too complicated, and Ah Jue is as difficult as you are now.”

Qi Han couldn’t help laughing at his sad look, ”What’s wrong with Ah Jue? Is he going to someone else’s house to sleep again?”

“No.” Fu Ge said. ”He beat up a child in kindergarten and didn’t admit his mistakes or apologise. He locked himself in the room after he got home.”

Qi Han frowned: ”Tell me what’s going on, gege.”

The little Beta started from the time he asked for leave in class, and kept talking about them coming home. At the end, he was sleepy and yawned in confusion. ”What time is it? I’m so sleepy…”

“It’s almost eleven o’clock, shall I carry you to sleep?”

“Wait a minute, maybe Xiao Jue will come down in a while.”

“Hmm.” Qi Han wrapped him tightly in a blanket, ”Sleep in my arms for a while, and I will carry you up when you are asleep.”

He held Fu Ge in his arms and shook and coaxed him lightly. After a while, the young Beta fell asleep, and a hesitant little head appeared at the top of the stairs.

Qi Han pretended to know nothing and beckoned the child to come over. Then Xiao Jue ran over and peeked at Fu Ge bashfully.

“Why don’t you go to bed yet?”

Xiao Jue hesitated: ”Coming to say good night to papa.”

“Okay, come here.” Qi Han grabbed his little hand and put it on Fu Ge’s forehead, ”Papa is asleep, let’s be gentle.”

There was always a lovely good night ceremony between father and son. Fu Ge was waiting for him while staying up, and Ah Jue could see the dark shadows under his papa’s eyes.

He felt remorseful, and when he heard Fu Ge calling his name in his sleep, his eyes reddened with guilt. He pouted like a little pig in Qi Han’s arms, especially frustrated.

“Big Daddy, I made a mistake…”

Qi Han didn’t take anyone’s side, only guided him to tell him. ”What’s happened?”

“I had a fight with a boy in kindergarten, and papa was called to meet  his parents…”

Qi Han thought for a while: ”Did you get hurt in the fight?”

Xiao Jue raised his head abruptly, his eyes turned red and tears fell, and he sniffled with grievances: ”I was not hurt… But I was scared…”

This is how children are; like a paper tiger with little confidence. If parents come up and hold them accountable for their mistakes, it will only provoke them to rebellion.

On the contrary, if the parents care about him first, the little tiger will be instantly deflated and complain to them, aggrieved.

“The teacher and the other parents are very fierce, right? They are much taller than you, and they make you feel scared when they surround you? Your Chinese is not very good, so when you are in a hurry, you can’t speak fluently.”

Qi Han analysed his situation too clearly. Ah Jue hugged his arm, wiping his tears and saying, ”Papa didn’t protect me, he was also very fierce, and slapped my ass…”

It seemed that this was the saddest point for him. He felt that his dearest papa was not on his side, but instead joined others in scolding him.

Qi Han patted him on the back, wrapped his sturdy little body in a blanket, and asked softly: ”Remember the night we first met? When you were bullied by bad guys.”

“Yes, I remember.”

Qi Han recalled with him: ”At that time, I actually ran away with your papa, because I didn’t know you were his baby, and I couldn’t fight with those people, so I could only abandon you.”

Ah Jue’s eyes widened when he heard this: ”Didn’t you want me at the time?”

“I didn’t, because you were just a strange little kid to me.” Qi Han told the truth, watching Ah Jue sniffle in frustration, and then said: ”But you papa stopped me. He said you’re his only family in this world. Even if he had to die, he would go back to you.”

Xiao Jue blinked his eyes and cried out suddenly, his whole face flushed with guilt: ”But I was mean to papa today, I lost my temper at him and locked him out…”

He was originally a good boy, and he finished reflecting on his behaviour on his own without waiting for someone to ask him more questions. Qi Han was amused and relieved, and rubbed his little head.

“Xiao Jue, you have to know that your papa is the one who loves you the most in the world, but he doesn’t express love very well because he didn’t have a happy childhood like you. So he can’t understand your distress and pain. Give him some time to learn and let him grow up with you.”

Xiao Jue touched Fu Ge’s nose with a bitter face, and then asked Qi Han: ”But what if we both can’t learn…”

“It’s okay, if you can’t learn, you still have me. I will always be with you.”

The child’s nose was sour, and he opened his little arms to hug Qi Han again, saying,”Thank you, Big Daddy.”

After coaxing the child, Qi Han took off his mask of kindness and said reasonably: ”Ah Jue, I don’t criticise you for fighting. On the contrary, if you are bullied by others, I support you to fight back in your own way and protect yourself, but is this the case for you this afternoon?”

The child in his arms flattened his mouth and admitted honestly: ”No…”

“Because the teacher said that I would become an Alpha, I was very sad. That classmate accidentally got the chalk on me, and I pushed him because I was angry. I’m sorry, Big Daddy.”

Qi Han knocked him on the forehead, ”Don’t apologise to me, your parents will forgive you for all your mistakes, but that little kid is really affected. You hurt him, so what are you going to do?”

“Can I apologise to him seriously when I go to school tomorrow? I’ll give him all my little cakes.”

“Great.” Qi Han patted him on the shoulder. ”You’re a little man.”

Xiao Jue was embarrassed by the compliment, blushed and rubbed his curly head against him, asking like a little adult: ”Big Daddy, what is Alpha like? Can Alpha only be with Omega?”

“Of course not, your papa is Beta, and we are together. It has nothing to do with gender when you like someone. As for what Alpha is


He pondered for a long time before he spoke to the child, ”Do you know when Dad’s two differentiations happened?”

Xiao Jue shook his head, ”Have you differentiated twice?”

Qi Han smiled and told him: ”The first differentiation was at the age of fourteen. The process was not beautiful. My father died in front of me, and I failed to protect him. Sadness and powerlessness prompted me to differentiate from an ordinary Alpha to a 3S Alpha.”

Xiao Jue’s heart ached faintly, and he hugged Qi Han to comfort him. ”What about the second time?”

“The second time was the night I met you. You and Xiao Ge were taken by the bad guys. I had to become stronger to protect you. So I differentiated from 3S level Alpha to Enigma.”

Qi Han had always thought that genes were the trigger for differentiation. Now it seemed that evolution had nothing to do with genes, and it was entirely determined by human will.

Xiao Jue seemed puzzled and looked at him blankly: ”Then what exactly is Alpha?”

Qi Han said, ”I think it should be a natural protector, like the pillar that supports the sky.”

He lifted Ah Jue up, wiped his red eyes, and deliberated for a while before speaking. His tone was soft and solemn like never before. “The universe is vast, with rivers of stars stretching for billions of light years, but it never gives mankind the chance to choose. We cannot influence the outcome of the differentiation. But we have to understand the meaning of differentiation: it distinguishes the three genders of ABO not to let the stronger Alpha or Enigma prevail above others, it is for us to stand in front of them in the case of danger.”

The strong Alpha stretched out his hand and knocked fists with the potential future Alpha, and seriously said: ”When you become an adult, you have to stand in front of Xiao Ge and in front of your lover, and when I fall, you will stand in front of me and our family.”

“I am your pillar that supports the sky now. When I get old, you will also be the pillar for me and your papa.”

The little Beta, who pretended to be asleep, slowly opened his eyes, kissed Qi Han’s face, and then opened his arms to his son. Xiao Jue whimpered and rushed into his arms, rubbing against him eagerly.

Fu Ge curled his eyes at Qi Han and said softly: ”Our big A has taught our little A so well.”

Qi Han picked them both up and walked upstairs under the exclamations of the father and son.

”Time to go to bed, little babies.”

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Pain Fetish Extra 2

When Fu Ge came out of the alley, his lips were swollen, pink and hidden under the mask, and so numb he could barely feel them.

He stared at Qi Han angrily as he walked, really suspecting that if he weren’t extraordinarily lucky, his lips would be kissed away by this man.

Qi Han was not ashamed at all, raised his hand to help him straighten his mask, and asked, knowing the answer: ”Why are you staring at me so aggrieved? Who bullied you?”

Fu Ge, angry and ashamed, shoved him away, ”Can’t you behave yourself? You are already twenty-four years old, why are you still acting like an adolescent?”

Qi Han chuckled lightly, sticking to his ear from behind, with a lazy smile in his tone.

“Since my little husband has accompanied me through my long adolescence, he should know that I’m much more restrained now. Besides, if it wasn’t for you to seduce me, how could I mess around like this? Gege can’t put all the blame on me alone.”

Such brazenness was simply heinous.

Fu Ge smiled angrily, ”You are shameless, what did I do to seduce you!”

“What do you say?” Qi Han’s smile was gentlemanly, but what he said in Fu Ge’s ear was the words of a rascal: ”The little cat gets horny when his back is touched. Meowing like a she-cat, if I was really a tomcat, I would lose all my nine lives to you.”

Fu Ge frowned, turned around in frustration and pressed his head to Qi Han’s shoulder as if he was too shy to see anyone, begging: ”Shall I call you gege? Good gege, restrain your divine power…”


When Fu Ge first got out of the carriage, he had felt that the girl standing at the door of the bed and breakfast looked familiar, but he didn’t expect to really meet an acquaintance when he entered the door.

“Zhuo Ma!” His eyes lit up in surprise, and he couldn’t help but step forward and give the female Alpha a hug, ”It’s really you! My big beautiful girl now becomes the boss.”

Zhuo Ma was equally surprised, hugging him for a while before reacting, ”OMG! Xiao Ge! The wish I made on the snowy mountain last night has actually come true!”

Qi Han gritted his teeth, wrapped his arm around Fu Ge and pulled him back, pretending to be enthusiastic and patting Zhuo Ma on the shoulder: ”I haven’t had a chance to thank you yet. Thank you for taking care of my husband last time, thank you!”

Zhuo Ma didn’t have much impression of his face. It was only with these domineering pheromones that she recalled who he was and couldn’t help looking at him from head to toe in surprise: ”My friend, you seem to have been reborn, and your aura has completely changed.”

The last time they met was the fake honeymoon a few months ago. Qi Han mistakenly thought that Fu Ge and Zhuo Ma were together, and watched his love leave with her but still desperately begged if he could take pictures of them.

The half-dead, depressed look was naturally different from the current spring breeze.

Zhuo Ma looked at the young Beta sensitively and saw the same diamond rings on the fingers of the two of them. Her eyes reddened, and she couldn’t speak for a long time.

This was the boy she used to like for five years. 

Although her feelings had faded now, she still felt sore.

“Come on, beautiful girl,” Fu Ge couldn’t bear to see her like this, so he stood on tiptoe and stroked her long dark hair, and gave her all the barley candies in his pocket. ”We got married last week, can we give you the wedding candy?”

Zhuo Ma curled her lips in tears, ”What, this is our specialty here, you obviously bought it just now, don’t fool me!”

Fu Ge coaxed her with a smile: ”This is my favourite candy. I couldn’t even bear to eat it when I bought it. I’ll give you all the candy, can you forget me, this bastard, okay?”

Zhuo Ma blinked her wet red eyes and smiled suddenly: ”Actually, my unbearable love has faded long ago, but I can’t help but worry. You, after going round and round for so long, you are still with him…”

She glanced at Qi Han and said in a muffled voice: ”Your wish… has it come true? I made a wish on the snowy mountain yesterday, wishing for you to get the things you want…”

Fu Ge was stunned for two seconds, then suddenly smiled, took Qi Han’s hand and shook it: ”He was the persistent one, and I gave up.”

Zhuo Ma stared at Qi Han reluctantly and asked Fu Ge straightforwardly: ”Are you happy now?”

As soon as the words were spoken, a candy was stuffed into her mouth. The little Beta came up to her, smiling with eyes as clear as starlight: ”Silly girl, what do you think?”

They didn’t stay at the bed and breakfast for long. No one could expect two Alphas that had once been rivals to get along amicably. Qi Han and Zhuo Ma began to spar pheromones without even realising it.

Before leaving, Zhuo Ma reluctantly grabbed Fu Ge’s hand: ”You didn’t have much fun last time you came. This time I will be your tour guide and let you have a good time.”

The little Beta didn’t think for too long; after taking a look at Qi Han, he smiled and refused, ”Don’t want to trouble my big beautiful girl. This time, I want to accompany my husband.”

Qi Han was distracted at the time; the situation dictated that the ”love rival” was in front of him. His head was full of the painful experiences of the last honeymoon, and then he suddenly heard these words.

His whole being was stunned before his brain could react.

This was the first time Fu Ge had called him that, and he had done so openly in front of outsiders. (the word Fu Ge uses here is 老公 (laogong), which is a more informal/intimate way than 先生 (xiansheng) that was used before)

In such a natural, intimate and habitual tone, calling him husband in front of his love rival…

It was truly lethal.

Qi Han’s Adam’s apple rolled slowly.

As soon as he stepped out of the door, he suddenly grasped Fu Ge’s wrist, and stammered as he spoke: ”Gege, gege, you just… I seemed to have auditory hallucinations…”

It seemed that that unrealistic title was an illusion that he dreamed about day and night.

Obviously, on the wedding night, he had used a lot of methods to force Fu Ge to call him that, softly and obediently, and now the little Beta just said that.

So naturally, indulgently and recklessly, as if… as if…

Qi Han realised that Fu Ge was coaxing him awkwardly.

He was using this kind of naive method, similar to a primary school student trying to make up after a fight, to dispel the lingering black and sour haze in his heart.

“One minute you’re calling me shameless, and now you’re offering to call me husband.” He gained an inch and wanted a foot, cupped Fu Ge’s chin and turned his face, ”Good baby, you are about to kill me…”

“Of course I have to accompany you on the honeymoon.” The little Beta squinted his eyes, laughing, and stood on tiptoe to whisper in his ear. ”Husband.”


Round and round we go back to the beginning; to the place where their love began at eighteen, where it swelled, where it was proclaimed without fear, where so many firsts for two teenagers in the throes of love were recorded.

The first time they travelled by train, the first time they embraced in front of people, the first horse race for your beloved, the first time to pray at the top of the showy mountain…

The love that had not been contaminated by the nightmare was as pure as the snow in the sunset, and Litang was the glittering brilliance of the snow preserved in a bottle.

Fu Ge couldn’t bear it to become a taboo place in Qi Han’s heart that he would never dare to set foot in again. He wanted to do his best to repair this messy picture.

As it was at the beginning, romantic and reverent.

The first stop was the same local restaurant.

They sat where they had sitten last time. Fu Ge grabbed the menu and ordered a full table of dishes in one breath, such as beef tongue salad, roasted lamb and curry potatoes, braised yellow fish fillets and a pot of warm butter tea.

“Don’t eat too much mixed food, be careful of stomach discomfort.” Qi Han instructed him while helping him cut the beef. The little Beta nodded hurriedly, swallowing fragrant bites.

After taking two bites, he suddenly said, ”Ah Han, do you want to hear the story of the talented painter tearfully peeling potatoes?”

With a pop, the small cup in Qi Han’s hand fell on the table, and the spilled butter tea quickly spread in a winding curve. 

Qi Han stared at him in a daze.

He instantly understood Fu Ge’s intention.

“Gege, are you going to desensitise me?”

The little Beta smiled softly, ”I remember the last time we came, it was from here that everything fell apart.”

Qi Han took a deep breath, lowered his eyes and took out a tissue to wipe the tea on the table, but his hands were shaking and his voice was hoarse. Even an embarrassing smile was hard to squeeze out.

“Let’s order two more dishes,” he said. ”I need to eat more to stand the pressure.”

Fu Ge let out a laugh and fell on his shoulder,”Big fool, I’m here, you don’t need to eat to stay calm.”

The Alpha hugged his waist, his dark eyes full of doting, and while no one looked over he took a deep breath, pressing his nose to Fu Ge’s dimple. ”Let’s start, little princess, let’s clear out all the knots in my heart.”

Whether it was to heal his childhood or to heal his present, the man in front of him was giving him 90% of his courage, and the remaining 10% came from the heart watered and slowly nourished by love.


It was noon when they got off the train, and it was almost dusk when they came out of the restaurant. Fu Ge took Qi Han to an old road.

Last time there, Qi Han was holding the parts of the drone by himself, picking and dropping them in embarrassment, and his hands were frozen red by the winter wind.

“You remember this road…” He laughed helplessly; his eyes were red and swollen, and his heart was sour: ”Did gege plan long ago to bring me over here?”

The little Beta smiled without saying a word, grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers, the heat of their bodies spreading directly to each other’s hearts.

Fu Ge raised his mobile phone to take a selfie of the two of them together, and then gave Qi Han the mobile phone, coaxing him, ”Here, little crybaby, write your own note.”

Qi Han thought for a while and typed the line that was not much different from his memory: In the winter of the sixth year, someone warmed up my hands. 

This time it was true.

In the two days that followed, every dark memory was replayed.

Only what had happened five months ago was strong arsenic for the two of them, and now everything was thick, sweet honey.

They checked into the same hotel, and Fu Ge slept in Qi Han’s arms while Qi Han didn’t even dare to close his eyes.

The two followed the original route and went hand in hand to the Eye of Genie, and used a drone to take pictures of this bright gemstone-like pool of water.

When the sun set, Qi Han set up a tent at the foot of the mountain, and the two of them ate a pot of hot haggis noodle soup by the smokeless stove.

After night fell, he held the little Beta in his lap and read him a poignant story about love in a German picture book in a magnetic voice.

Fu Ge held his fingers and slept as comfortably and safely as a baby in swaddling clothes.

They did everything they had planned last time but hadn’t had time to implement. The last stop was at the foot of the sacred mountain of Zhaga. Fu Ge rode a bay stallion and won first place. 

He took the navy blue khata, rode back in the last ray of light on the horizon and threw out the khata the moment he passed Qi Han’s side.

With the navy blue ribbon immediately put around his neck, the Alpha got on the horse in a smooth motion, and they rushed together to the familiar low mountain.

The mountain where Fu Ge had left him behind.

The same mountain where Qi Han almost died of allergy.

The night wind whistled in their ears, and the horseshoes echoed in the wind. Fu Ge clamped the horse’s belly and galloped boldly to the top of the mountain.

He said: ”I came here before, after you were taken away, and dug up a lot of blood-stained snow.”

The place where the horse’s hooves trod lightly was covered with thick snow, and under the snow were traces of Qi Han’s desperate struggle that night. When Fu Ge thought about it now, he was still suffocating and his heart felt as if a knife was twisted in it.

“Even if you never mention it, I can guess how much pain you must have been in at that time. I don’t know how to help you forget about that night. The only thing I can think about is to replace it with better and deeper memories.”

He turned around as he said that, his moist eyes filled with water and light, and raised his soft trembling hand to Qi Han’s shoulder, his docile and obedient gaze flowing into Qi Han’s heart like a flood of spring water.

“Open my collar…” The little Beta was like a cloud blown away by the wind, with a blushing face and shy eyes, like a flower revealing its delicate pink and white core.

Qi Han’s eyes darkened and his breathing became heavy and chaotic. ”Shy like this, what are you wearing inside?”

He pushed open the collar, revealing the corner of an ill-fitting wide shirt. Qi Han’s voice was tight: ”My shirt… the one I sleep in. When did you steal it?”

Fu Ge was blushing hard and had no time to answer his questions. His sweaty palms lay on Qi Han’s shoulders, and his body was soft like clay.

“Never mind.” With trembling fingers, he took Qi Han’s hand and put it under the collar of his shirt, saying carefully:

“I wear a lot of clothes. I’m not afraid of the cold. I’m not afraid of pain. I also prepared antipyretics, it doesn’t matter if I have a fever…”

The kitten raised his wet eyes and begged his owner: ”Ah Han, hold me here… I’ll help you forget all your previous nightmares.”

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