Rebirth: Design Your Life Chapter 34

Gao Xi, Gao Xi, Gao Xi…

Xu Moran closed his eyes and recited the name over and over in his mind: Gao Xi!

He recalled the day that split his life from colourful to black and white impermanence.

That day was his birthday, and from then on his birthday was destined to also be the day of his execution.

He remembered when Gao Xi’s body was recovered, the face was soaked with water and wet, pale but extremely beautiful.

There was a light pink colour on the clothes, his blood diluted by the water, remaining on the fabric.

It was as if he was asleep, peaceful and calm.

Until Xu Moran watched him turn into a can of white ash, quiet and silent.

He tried to commit suicide once, trying to catch up with Gao Xi on the road to the Yellow Springs (underworld), but was rescued.

Xu Moran frowned painfully. He sometimes couldn’t even think clearly about how it all happened.

That day, he and Zhao Chun accompanied a client to dinner, and when they drank too much at the table, Zhao Chun took him home.

It was late, so he told Zhao Chun not to go back, sleep in the guest room for the night, and go to the office together tomorrow.

In the past, when Gao Xi was at home, Zhao Chun would occasionally stay overnight.

Xu Moran didn’t think much of it at the time when he said those words, after all, they had been friends for so many years and knew each other so well.

Probably because of the alcohol, he slept heavily that night.

When someone leaned over him, he wrapped the person into his arms, called out “Gao Xi”, and slowly fell asleep again.

Perhaps his actions inspired the other person, and the other party dragged him into the sea of desire.

Waves of pleasure between his legs exploded into his brain, and Xu Moran instinctively wanted to reach out and pull the other man’s hair.

He and Gao Xi were still too young when they met, both shy teenagers, and both of them had always been terribly conservative in bed.

There were times when Gao Xi wanted to try to kiss him there, but Xu Moran stopped him, feeling dirty and not wanting to wrong him.

So when that strange pleasure hit, he instinctively tried to pull him up.

But in his daze, he saw a face that didn’t belong to Gao Xi.

He was so scared that he immediately came to his senses, but the lips and tongue between his legs became even more passionate, sucking and nibbling, the tip of the tongue as flexible as a snake, travelling around his sensitive spots.

He gasped and his body softened as he indulged himself, sinking into the endless sea of lust.

Everything was like a dream, happening in slow motion, until Gao Xi appeared, until Gao Xi left, and then until he received a call from the police…

He didn’t remember what he had done in between at all, and the only thing he remembered was Gao Xi lying wet on the shore.

He wanted to rush up to hug him, but he was stopped by someone, and he struggled and fought, and fainted.

Then he clutched the jar of ashes to his chest, so cold, so cold…

He understood that his life was also over.

Gao Xi, Gao Xi!

He would also have nightmares, although not frequent, but he would dream of Gao Xi’s wet face, pale and calm.

Those peach blossom eyes that always held a smile would never open again, and those lips that spoke the sweetest words would never move again.

But sometimes it was like he was still alive, just silently angry with him.

It seemed that as long as he stepped forward to coax him a little, he would open his lips and smile.

Gao Xi, Gao Xi, it’s you, isn’t it, Xu Moran murmured.

He just couldn’t stand the thought that Gao Xi might no longer want to be with him; it was driving him crazy.

What about Gao Xi, he thought, how upset he should have been that day?

He silently shed tears and pulled the thin blanket over his body, covering his face that was distorted with pain.

He didn’t ask for Gao Xi’s forgiveness, but he couldn’t bear the pain of losing him!


Shen Yun accompanied Zhuang Yan, smiling, not yet aware that he had gotten into trouble again.

The club he took Xu Moran to yesterday was Qu Yuan’s place.

In fact, Qu Yuan seldom came there, but he did yesterday, and it was one good thing.

Better still, Qu Yuan knew him, but he didn’t know Qu Yuan.

When Qu Yuan saw him sitting opposite a man, cordial and warm, he informed Zhou Lan.

The only fortunate thing was that Qu Yuan didn’t see the scene where Xu Moran held him.

Today, he met Wang Baiqi again, who exchanged pleasantries with Zhuang Yan. Shen Yun stood next to him, eyes slightly downcast, his lips smiling.

He looked extremely distant, but he maintained his politeness graciously.

When Zhuang Yan moved, Shen Yun followed closely. Who knew that Wang Baiqi would actually put his hand on his shoulder.

Shen Yun sidestepped, Wang Baiqi stepped in front of him and said with a smile, “Xiao Shen, why are you avoiding me?”

Shen Yun smiled politely, “President Wang is joking, how could it be?”

Wang Baiqi took a step forward, “What do you think on the matter of cooperation?”

Shen Yun looked at his close face and backed away, “Sorry, President Wang, too busy now, if I have a chance later…”

“Shen Yun!” There was a majestic shout, and Zhuang Yan frowned as he waited for him in front.

Shen Yun smiled, “Let’s talk next time, President Wang.”

Shen Yun took two steps to catch up with Zhuang Yan, who looked at him sternly, “Didn’t I tell you not to have anything to do with this man?”

Shen Yun said obediently, “Yes.”

Zhuang Yan glared at him with dissatisfaction and finally stopped talking.

Zhou Lan was right in front of him, and when he brushed past him, Shen Yun even winked at him playfully.

However, Zhou Lan had a cold face, as if he had not seen him, and only politely said a few words to Zhuang Yan, ignoring Shen Yun.

Shen Yun frowned, wondering where he had offended him.

During the tea break, Shen Yun sat on the sofa with a glass of juice and chatted with Xiao Bo, but Zhou Lan came over.

He hooked his finger, and Shen Yun went up the stairs far behind him and entered the washroom.

The exhibition hall was located downstairs, and there was basically no one upstairs.

Zhou Lan closed the door behind him and pressed him against the wall to look him up and down.

In the black suit, his waist was particularly thin.

Shen Yun raised his eyebrows and smiled, asking, “What’s wrong?”

Zhou Lan tugged at the tie around his neck and ordered, “Wear this at home at night.”

Shen Yun hooked the corner of his lips, “Okay.”

Zhou Lan bit his earlobe, “Do you know what I feel right now?”

Shen Yun shook his head; his intuition told him that Zhou Lan didn’t feel good.

Sure enough, Zhou Lan continued, “Why do I feel like I’m something that can’t see the light (like a mistress)?”

Shen Yun restrained his smile and pursed his lips to keep quiet.

Zhou Lan continued, “You can go in and out with Zhuang Yan openly and honestly, you can eat with Xu Moran openly and honestly, how come I’m the only one who must be hidden? Eh? Shen Yun?”

Shen Yun lowered his eyes, and when he raised them again, he said, “But I only sleep with you.”

A strange shadow appeared in Zhou Lan’s eyes. He tightened Shen Yun’s tie and kissed his lips fiercely.

Shen Yun sighed; he was just afraid of this look.

In the afternoon, he followed Zhuang Yan back to Songmu. Songmu’s small apartment project he did was going on comfortably.

But Zhuang Yan had many requirements and high standards, and many things still had to be discussed with him more.

Those who chose a small apartment were mostly young people with average economic conditions, but also eager to have a home.

Among them, there were many combinations of young couples or families of three.

Songmu was best at forty-square-metre one-bedrooms, sixty-square-metre two-bedrooms, and eighty-square-metre three-bedrooms.

Moreover, with the large common area, the actual usable area didn’t add up to much and had to be divided into various functional areas.

Therefore, the most important thing was to have enough storage space and overall space comfort.

Shen Yun was very good at achieving this effect through colour matching.

This time he tried to use neutral colours as the main colours to visually expand the sense of space as much as possible, and then keep the space transparent.

Next, the comfort of the space was achieved through light.

After comparing and adjusting the various options with Zhuang Yan once again, it was finally time to move on to the next stage.

It was already very late when he finished. Shen Yun refused Zhuang Yan’s invitation to dinner and hurriedly took the bus back.

There was another traffic jam on the road, and Shen Yun was worried that Zhou Lan’s fire would get bigger and bigger, but there was nothing he could do.

He thought, some things needed to be said clearly.

Why didn’t you make it clear? If he says he’ll wait for you, then let him wait happily? How come you’re so thick-skinned?

He smiled bitterly, turned his face to look at the traffic jam outside the window, the cars that didn’t move for a long time.

He didn’t eat dinner either, he was hungry and his stomach rumbled as he entered the house.

Zhou Lan was sitting on the sofa reading a magazine, and when he heard the door, he raised his head and looked at him.

Shen Yun smiled: “There was a traffic jam, sorry.”

He didn’t know what he was embarrassed about, so he lowered his head and changed his shoes.

Just as he was about to ask Zhou Lan if he had eaten, he was tugged into the other party’s lap.

Shen Yun was wearing a coat, and under it was the suit from the morning exhibition.

Shen Yun took the initiative to kiss the corner of Zhou Lan’s lips, then said, “I’m sorry.”

Zhou Lan asked as he helped him take off his coat, “Why do you say sorry?”

Shen Yun didn’t dare to look into his eyes, and didn’t know how to say those heart-piercing words.

Zhou Lan had already taken off his coat and went to unbuckle his belt.

Shen Yun looked down at his nimble fingers and finally said, “When you said before you could wait for me, I was grateful.”

He bit his lip and continued, “I want to say that you have the right to change your mind before I respond to you, and if, and I mean if, you meet someone else you like, you can always pursue someone else.”

Zhou Lan’s hand that was moving on him froze, and his sharp gaze made his scalp hot.

He didn’t say anything, just pulled Shen Yun’s tie out and tied both of his hands behind his back before carrying him up the stairs.

He covered his body and bit him gently, “I can wait for you, but why can’t I see the light?”

Shen Yun’s hands were resting under his waist and hips. The position was just right, and Zhou Lan fiddled with him, waiting for him to answer.

Shen Yun’s eyes were a little moist as he said, “I’m sorry, I don’t want to lie, but there are some things I can’t say.”

Shen Yun was a little nervous, biting his lip. Zhou Lan reached out his thumb and gently rubbed his teeth away, freeing his lip.

He said, “Don’t be afraid, I wouldn’t do that to you.”

Shen Yun opened his eyes and looked at him, pursing his lips, a little aggrieved, silent.

Zhou Lan lowered his head and kissed him, taking his lips and tongue into his mouth, licking and sucking until his body slowly softened.

He entered his body and gasped in satisfaction as he said, “Shen Yun, I’m sorry, I’m too greedy.”

Shen Yun shed tears in pleasure, and he didn’t know if it was because of Zhou Lan’s words or because of the most immediate response of his body.

He buried his face in the pillow and bit his lip once more.

Only after his mind calmed down a bit did he softly say, “Zhou Lan, my hands hurt, and I haven’t eaten yet.”

Zhou Lan paused and reached out to untie his tie. Deep red marks had already been imprinted on his snow-white wrists.

His heart was full of resentment when he tied him. Zhou Lan leaned down and sped up, “I’ll cook for you in a while.”

He kissed his reddened wrists, his mood heavy.

Shen Yun gasped, “Don’t be angry with me, okay?”

Zhou Lan’s heart instantly turned into a gentle water.

He was too greedy, he was too anxious, he had said he would wait for a lifetime, and he couldn’t stand it after only a few days?

Zhou Lan held him in his arms, wanting him again and again, as if it was never enough.

By the time he stopped, it was already the second half of the night, and the sleeping Shen Yun’s stomach made a few soft noises of protest.

Zhou Lan put his hand over his stomach and sighed in chagrin, “Oops, you haven’t eaten yet.”

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4 thoughts on “Rebirth: Design Your Life Chapter 34

  1. Oh no I actually feel a little bad for Xu Moran 🙉 But then I got distracted by Zhou Lan forgetting to feed Shen Yun 🙊 It’s time to sleep 🙈

    1. Me too, he was not a repeated cheater, it was really just a moment of weakness that destroyed all his life. I’m surprised he wasn’t completely destroyed by regret 😥😥

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