Pain Fetish Chapter 43

A false relationship is like a snail crawling on the ice, one wrong step can shatter the ice abruptly.

Their honeymoon, which they had been looking forward to for a week or so, seemed to have come to an end on the first day. 

Originally, Fu Ge’s plan was for the two of them to climb Mount Genie together after dinner. If they were lucky, they could see the blue ice sea on the way, and then set up a small tent on the top of the mountain in the evening to watch the sunset for a while.

Qi Han prepared a lot of original German books. He wanted to hold Fu Ge in his arms as before, surrounded by warm blankets, and read him those picture books that helped him sleep.

But these beautiful fantasies were all broken by that one sentence.

After Fu Ge came out of the restaurant, his mood was already irritable to the extreme. Qi Han noticed that he had been avoiding his eyes and kept chewing on his thumb.

Obviously, his fingernails had been cut short enough to expose the flesh, but he still kept gnawing on it unconsciously, as if he couldn’t feel the pain, using his index finger to push the nail up, torturing the tender circle of flesh until it was red and oozing blood.

His pain fetish had struck again as his hatred for the Alpha had risen to its peak, and yet he still continued to act.

“Gege, let’s go back to the hotel first, I may have a little bit of altitude sickness.” Qi Han helped him find a good way out, suggesting with a smile: “Let’s go out to play tomorrow. Didn’t you want to race horses? You need to have a good rest to have the strength.”

Fu Ge took his finger out of his mouth and nodded immediately without hesitation, “Okay, if you are uncomfortable, let’s rest first.”

The blue veins bulging in his forehead seemed to indicate he was suppressing something, and his Adam’s apple moved repeatedly as if he was swallowing again and again. Qi Han knew that he was resisting vomiting.

“Then we’ll take two rooms, okay? After I get there, there will be a five-hour video conference, and gege won’t be able to rest because of the noise.”

Fu Ge looked up at him suspiciously; Qi Han immediately changed his expression to regret and added: “When the work is done, gege will have to come and keep me company right away.”

The young Beta stopped doubting. “Okay.”

Qi Han helped him take his luggage to his room, opened the suitcase quickly, found his own change of clothes and left.

Their clothes were originally put together, and the “loving couple” naturally had to live in the same room for their honeymoon; but the Alpha knew he couldn’t stay for a long time, because Fu Ge was about to be unable to bear it.

As soon as he left the room, Fu Ge rushed to the bathroom and vomited wildly before he could even open the toilet.

The mutton, buns, and sweet tea he ate for lunch, including barley candies, were all thrown up. The fishy smell mixed with the sourness of the vomit filled the bathroom. Fu Ge looked at the filthy mess and suddenly felt that as a human being, he was not much better.

He didn’t go out all afternoon and slept under the quilt for a long time. He didn’t wake up until two or three o’clock in the middle of the night. When he turned on his mobile phone, a lot of messages from Qi Han popped up, asking him if he wanted to have dinner.

Fu Ge didn’t reply to any of them.

He turned on the small bedside lamp and sat naked on the bed for a long time, then suddenly took out a box of cigarettes from the drawer.

They were ladies cigarettes, very thin, wrapped in pale pink wrapping paper. There were twelve in total. Fu Ge took them out, arranged them into two rows, and lit all of them.

Then with a turn of his wrist, all the scarlet cigarette ends were extinguished on his thigh.


The extreme pain exploded in his cerebral cortex, spreading through every nerve into his limbs and bones. The young Beta groaned and raised his head high, beads of sweat rolling from his furrowed brow and sliding all the way to his sexy Adam’s apple.

He hugged his thigh, shaking, and threw the extinguished cigarettes aside. The air was filled with the smell of burnt flesh, and the constant pain finally made him regain a trace of sanity.

“Keep laughing, ah.” He slumped on the bed, staring at the ceiling with vacant eyes, and said word for word, “I’ll have my honeymoon with the love of my life tomorrow…”

The time for the horse race was set in the late afternoon, and the clouds and sunset covered the sacred mountain of Genie like a light veil.

Fu Ge had Tibetan braids specially made for the day.

A Tibetan girl found several colourful cords for him, braided them into his long dirty pink hair, and then tied a handful of pink braids high on top of his head, revealing his smooth forehead and handsome face.

The gentle young man immediately turned into a wanton kid. His smart eyes were like a lark resting on a branch. The girl said, “You are more beautiful than a galsang flower.” (considered the most beautiful flower in Tibet)

Fu Ge only smiled indifferently, “Beauty is the most useless thing.”

Stepping on the stirrup and getting on the horse, he tightened the reins with his slender hands, his legs clamped the horse’s belly, his palms exerted force, and he gave a violent pull—

A screeching neigh resounded through the sky; the horse’s head was raised in the air, its long mane flying up. Fu Ge’s entire upper body leaned back to an almost horizontal position, his supple braids fell down, his dazzling hair ornaments tinkling in the wind.

An eagle flew low above his head, then suddenly soared into the sky, spreading its wings and diving into the orange clouds.

This scene was permanently fixed by Qi Han on his camera.

He went crazy, desperately wishing to go back in time to five years ago, wanting this irreparable thing to have never happened. And Fu Ge would still be the same flamboyant and reckless teenager on horseback, whose single glance could make the snowy mountain shake.

“Ah Han, wait for me for ten minutes!” The little Beta raised his whip before joining the group, “Today’s first place belongs to my Mr. Bear Cub.”


Qi Han leaned against the tree with his camera and kept capturing his wonderful moments. Although he knew that he shouldn’t have any illusions anymore, he still couldn’t help but look forward to the navy blue khata won for him.

“Nervous, huh?” A Tibetan guy who was waiting for his companion next to him handed him the horse milk wine he was holding, “Try it, I make my own wine, drink it and you won’t be nervous.”

Qi Han didn’t bother with formalities and took a couple of sips, “Are you waiting for your lover too? I remember that you have a custom here of winning a khata for your beloved.”

The guy smiled shyly, “It’s my Omega, still… not officially together. He wants me to come to the finish line and wait for him. Fooling around.”

It was difficult for Omega, who was slightly weaker, to outrun the tall Khampa men, but this kind of courage was always moving. Qi Han raised his head and took a sip of wine, toasting: “I wish you happiness.”

The guy laughed, “Tashi delek! You and your lover must also be happy.”

Qi Han’s smile froze on his face, “Maybe…”

The horse race was over in ten minutes or so, and Fu Ge was the first to reach the finish line.

Only the khata he got was no longer navy blue, but pure white.

Qi Han paused, lowering his head to suppress his ridiculous thoughts. No matter how sour his heart was, he didn’t show it on his face, and walked towards Fu Ge with a forced smile.

Unsurprisingly, the young Beta was surrounded by people again, and one of the girls was the Tibetan girl who had helped him braid his hair.

She bluntly handed out the khata in her hand and wanted to exchange it with Fu Ge.

This was the local custom of courtship. If you were willing to exchange, it meant that you had a good impression of each other.

For some reason, Qi Han suddenly lost the confidence to step forward.

“Do you really not remember me at all?” The girl pressed her horse’s head against the head of Fu Ge’s horse and said, “I have been waiting for you for many years.”

Fu Ge was stunned for a few seconds, then suddenly thought of something, “In that horse race five years ago, you were… fourth place, right?”

The girl laughed, “Yes! You said I was the most beautiful and courageous girl you had ever seen, but you rejected my confession and said you had a husband.”

Fu Ge was stunned for a moment and suddenly felt that he was being ridiculous at that time, “Not a husband, I… I had a… boyfriend back then.”

Barely a boyfriend.

“Not married?” The girl asked.

Fu Ge laughed: “Didn’t tie the knot…”

The girl frowned suddenly, and her tone was a little fierce: “You haven’t had a good time in the past few years, have you?”

Fu Ge raised his eyes in surprise, and then pursed his lips helplessly: “Why do you say that?”

The girl’s Chinese was not very good, but her clear eyes contained plenty of emotions, and now they were full of sympathy and regret.

“You used to be like an eagle, and now… your wings are broken and you can’t fly anymore.” She felt very distressed for this boy who had made her spring heart bloom. He was like a flower that was broken and forcibly rescued, beautiful but fake.

“Can’t you accept my khata? I ran fourth that year and only had the white one. After running third this year, they agreed to give me the blue one. I remember you liked this colour the most.”

Fu Ge opened his mouth in surprise for a long time, then suddenly stepped forward and gently helped the girl to tuck her messy hair behind her ears.

“A person like me is not worthy of your pure and sincere heart. Don’t wait for me anymore. After five years, love yourself well, okay?”

The girl’s eyes were wet in an instant, and she asked him persistently: “What about you, will you love yourself well in the future?”

In her opinion, Fu Ge didn’t cherish himself much, and a person who “loved himself” wouldn’t have such conflicted and desperate eyes.

The young Beta just smiled, unfolded his khata and carefully put it on her neck, saying gently and lightly: “I chose a path that must be taken, and the result is that I will have no regrets whether I end up in pieces or not.”

“Then I wish you success, okay?” The girl looked at him.

Fu Ge thought for a while and said, “No, wish me to be clean and unconstrained when I leave.”

Qi Han, who was hiding by the tree, naturally couldn’t hear their conversation. He could only see Fu Ge putting his khata on the girl’s neck. He lowered his eyes and clenched the camera, silently retreating.

The two met far from the finish line.

Fu Ge was still riding the horse and was a little embarrassed: “The khata… is gone.”

“It’s okay.” Qi Han got onto his horse and sat behind him: “Gege, just run a lap with me.”

He remembered that when Fu Ge won the race five years ago, he rushed towards him, pulled him onto the horse and galloped far away.

They chased the tail of the setting sun against the wind all the way to the end of the mountain.

This time, Qi Han got onto the horse himself, and the young Beta didn’t rush the horse.

“Did you see that girl just now?” Fu Ge asked when they reached the top of the mountain.

“Yes, I remember her, she was the one who rushed up and confessed to gege five years ago.”

“Do you remember?” Fu Ge was a little surprised; after all, he had no impression at all.

Qi Han smiled, “I remember, I remember everything that day, the events, the people, they are all imprinted in my mind.”

So every time he dreamed of the past in the middle of the night, he would see Fu Ge driving a horse towards the cliff and falling to the ground without any bones left.

Perhaps there was really some altitude sickness. Qi Han felt all the time that breathing was a little difficult; the corners of his eyes and the tip of his nose were itchy, and his stomach was constantly turning upside down.

But he didn’t want to waste any opportunity to spend time together and in order to hide his abnormality could only brace himself, find a topic of conversation and talk about the details of their last trip to Litang.

“Back then we went up that hill, and there was golden light pouring over it at sunset. You had a beautiful orange glow all over your hair.”

Fu Ge only gave a perfunctory “hmm”.

Qi Han touched his throat, feeling that the air around him was getting more and more cramped, his breathing more and more difficult. He could only squeeze out word by word: “It was July, and it was… not cold. We set up our tent by the river. The first temporary mark happened there. It was the reward gege wanted—”

“Qi Han.” Fu Ge interrupted him suddenly, “Why do you always make me remember the past? Do you really want to go back to five years ago?”

The Alpha blinked, not noticing that his mind was a little confused, and said frankly: “I want to… I want to dream…”

“But I don’t want to.” The young Beta suddenly stopped, his voice cold: “Go back to five years ago and let you do those things to me again?”

“No! Gege, I don’t want to—”

“Get down.”

Qi Han was startled, “Gege, I’m really not—”

“I said get down!”

The Alpha blinked quickly, holding his stomach: “Okay…”

He almost rolled off the horse, propping himself on to the ground when he landed not to let himself fall.

Fu Ge didn’t even look at him, turned the horse around and headed down the hill.

The sky in Litang was getting dark very quickly, and the wind on the top of the mountain was blowing in Fu Ge’s face, so he didn’t see or hear that after he left, Qi Han suddenly fell to the ground and coughed violently.

The air around him seemed to disappear in an instant. His throat was clogged with water-soaked cotton. The Alpha fell to his knees, nausea rolling in his stomach, and he couldn’t breathe a single ounce of oxygen even though he desperately slapped his chest.

It wasn’t until his whole face had turned purple that he realised what was happening. Shivering, he lifted his shirt to see a dense red rash all over his body.

It was an allergy.

He didn’t know when he got the allergen. He hadn’t touched walnuts at all today. But Qi Han didn’t have time to think about it. He was about to go into shock.

Allergies on the plateau are very dangerous. The lack of oxygen can suffocate people when they have difficulty breathing.

Qi Han could feel that his breathing was slowly weakening but his heart was beating wildly, as if someone had grabbed his throat to strangle him to death.

He took out his mobile phone and with his last breath called Fu Ge for help. After the phone rang for three seconds, the call was connected.

The Alpha tried his best to make a little sound: “Gege… save…”

He was interrupted before he finished speaking, and the little Beta said in disgust: “Don’t bother me.”

Beep. The phone was hung up.

Qi Han raised his hands stiffly, his sluggish gaze crawling inch by inch towards the foot of the mountain.

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