Pain Fetish Chapter 19

The next morning, Qi Han was kicked out of bed.

He was kicked down into the gap between the wall and the bed. Fu Ge couldn’t drag him down, so he had to roll the bed farther away from the wall and kick him down.

Qi Han had been releasing pheromones all night last night. He was so tired that he couldn’t lift his arms. He barely fell asleep in the second half of the night. He was dreaming of Fu Ge nestling in his arms, taking a nap. But before he could take a bite, he slammed on the floor with a bang.

When he woke up, he was half heartbroken and half confused.

The tall, majestic President Qi crawled out from under the bed while his little Beta gripped the fork as if facing an enemy. Fu Ge’s estrus was mostly pacified, and he was back to his ruthless self, always looking for revenge.

Qi Han, helpless and distressed, stood up and took a half step back, “Don’t be afraid, I didn’t do anything, I accidentally fell asleep last night.”

“Enough of you, Qi Han, I don’t want to play this game with you anymore! Get out now, right now!”

Qi Han muttered “yeah” and raised his hand to hold his shoulder. The wounds on his body had been repeatedly opened and stitched in the past two days, and they had already begun to become inflamed. No matter how dull his senses were, he wouldn’t be able to carry on like this.

“The nurse will come over at eight o’clock to deliver breakfast. Remember to eat some, gege, you haven’t eaten for almost two days.”

The Beta threw the fork at him, “I’m not your gege!”

Qi Han didn’t make a sound, turned around and left.

He walked around the small isolation room on his way out, leaving as much pheromones as he could for Fu Ge, looking like a big wolf who had been driven out by his wife and was pissing on the periphery of his territory in despair.

Fu Ge couldn’t smell it and didn’t know what he was doing until he felt the warmth. He was furious for a moment, grabbed something and threw it at the door.

Only after throwing it did he realise it was a small square towel he had put under his body when he was in estrus.

It was still damp.

Qi Han froze for a second when he touched the thing.

“Give it back to me!” Fu Ge was annoyed, got off the bed and rushed to grab it.

As a result, Qi Han folded up the small square towel and put it into his clothes, opened the door and ran away.


Fu Ge was speechless with anger.

“Yo, you got kicked out of bed?” Chen Xing gloated, “I didn’t expect President Qi to have such a day.”

Qi Han glanced at him sideways, and returned to his lofty coldness.

“Are you very idle?”

“No, but if I lose my job, I can still find another one. And if I lose my jokes, where am I going to find them?” He looked at the red gauze on Qi Han’s left shoulder and tsk’ed, “That little Beta is really cruel. You’ve shed enough blood in the past two days for him to take a bath, and you’re still holding up?”

“How strong can he be…”

“Yo, yo, yo, look at you with that meek expression, you’re doing that, I’m going to get a fucking stye!” (There’s an expression “don’t look at what you shouldn’t, or you’ll get a stye” (“needle in the eye” literally))

The hand pressing on the wound suddenly paused. Qi Han didn’t look up, hiding the gauze under his suit, “I owe him too much.”

“Fine, as you wish.”

Chen Xing, a clear-cut playboy, could be a jerk to the extent of having all the young lovers in his phone book to live in the same building in the upscale neighbourhood. No matter what, he couldn’t understand Qi Han’s self-abuse.

In his opinion, if you liked someone, you could get along. If you hated someone, you could go your own way. There was no such thing as who owed whom, and a relationship was not about payback.

Qi Han looked at his clothes, “Where are you coming from?”

“303, ah.” Chen Xing blurted out, only to realise that he was talking about the room number. “Hey, the new boy I met recently, I haven’t remembered his name yet.”

“Be careful not to get sick.”

“That’s impossible. I arrange regular physical check-ups, and when the day comes, the whole group is taken to the hospital in a car.” His tone was quite proud.

Qi Han let out a sigh and said no more.

In fact, Chen Xing was not such a character when he was seventeen or eighteen years old. He was much more innocent than Fu Ge in high school. The basketball star, the Alpha with rose-flavoured pheromones, was clean and handsome, with a good family background. People who liked him could line up from the basketball court to the south gate.

Unfortunately, the person he loved later messed up his head so badly that he even jumped into the moat, and after he was rescued, he completely changed.

He didn’t touch all those who liked him, and he welcomed those who came for money with outstretched arms. He hired his neighbourhood lovers for the relationship ruled by the most solid of interests. It was a real life of luxury with lakes of wine and forests of meat (idiom for debauchery), and except for being drunk and going to the riverbank in the middle of the night to wail, Young Master Chen prided himself on being dashing and happy most of the time.

“Where’s the expert I sent you to find?”

“Well, I was just about to say, he’s here, he’s in the consultation room with the old guys studying the disease of your dear darling, but the situation doesn’t seem too optimistic.”

“At the moment we can offer two treatment options.”

The expert took out the image of Fu Ge’s inner cavity and showed it to Qi Han, “The surgery to remove the patient’s mark was done very irregularly. Not only were many areas stained with pheromones not scraped clean, but some parts were also dug too deep.”

In the image you could see that the Beta’s place there was only the size of a fingernail and looked round, cute and delicate.

But its supposedly smooth surface was littered with many small bright red pits, with blood constantly seeping out of them and the serious ones festering.

Qi Han’s breath tightened, and when he opened his mouth, there seemed to be a piece of cotton in his throat, “Excuse me, the operation to remove the mark… how on earth is it done?”

“You don’t know?” The doctor found a popular science short video and gave it to him.

The video showed a long rod-shaped instrument with crossed blades sticking out of it, and in the blink of an eye the blades began to rotate rapidly, scraping the outer layer of soft flesh like a juicer crushing fruit; in an instant a mist of blood covered the screen.

“Crap…” Chen Xing was stunned, “This is fucking murder, right? Can one stand it even with anaesthetic…”

Qi Han had long since stopped breathing, blood vessels almost bursting in his eyes filled with tears, “Just like that, spinning… to scrape the flesh…”

“Yes, mark removal surgery is extremely harmful to BO’s body. Irregular surgical operations can even be fatal. The patient’s body is constantly in a state of inflammation and damage, very fragile and easily injured.”

Very easily injured…

Qi Han repeated these words as if he had lost his soul, and asked in a dumb voice: “Then will it hurt… when you make love?”

“Of course.” The doctor frowned, “In this situation it is very much not recommended to have intercourse. Excessive behaviour will make the patient’s life worse than death.”

As if his breathing was violently interrupted, Qi Han gripped the armrests of the seat, filled with images of intimacy with Fu Ge after the reunion.

Twice in total, and both times were tragic.

The first time was before Fu Ge regained his memory. They did it for over six hours, and the little Beta was crying out in pain countless times.

The second time was after Fu Ge regained his memory, in the dilapidated building. Qi Han pressed him to the concrete floor and did it. The little Beta passed out from the pain three times, but at that time Qi Han had long been overwhelmed by anger.

Such a fragile place was scraped by the rotating blades, scarred and bleeding, but it was not enough. It would be ravaged by his own Alpha again three years later.

Even when Fu Ge used his last strength to cry for help, he asked in his ear freely and vividly: “Does it feel good, gege?”

Qi Han really wanted to find a knife and stab himself to death, the beast.

He stuck his fingernails deep into his palms and asked with difficulty, “May I ask which of the two treatment options will make him hurt less?”

“The first is what we all rather recommend, another thorough mark removal procedure—”

“Use the other one.” Qi Han interrupted directly.

“Won’t you ask what the other one is before you think about it?”

“There’s nothing to think about. He can’t bear a second operation.”

The doctor raised an eyebrow, flipped to the next page of the medical records and said, “The other is to inject him with your pheromones, using the pheromones of his Alpha who had marked him to repair and re-establish his body’s balance.”

“Can do.” Qi Han agreed without even thinking about it.

“You’d better not reply in a hurry. Repairing is a very long process, three to five years at least, or it can be as long as a few decades, which means you’ll have to extract pheromones for the patient every day, draining your glands and your spirit.”

“That won’t do!” Chen Xing opposed it with both hands, “Pumping pheromones every day, every day for a decade or so, do you think pheromones are tap water?”

“Shut up.” Qi Han gave the man a warning look, “You continue.”

“Well, in order to keep your glands active, we need to bury a medicine tube under your glands, and the process of extracting pheromones requires you to stay awake all the time, which can be extremely painful.”

Some people once described the pain of extracting pheromones in vivo as more severe than giving birth, as if the bone marrow was drawn while awake.

Qi Han didn’t care. No matter how painful it was, could it be equal to the pain Fu Ge suffered?

“I have no problem with it. I can arrange it this afternoon to treat him as soon as possible.”

“Hey! Wait, wait, wait!” Chen Xing didn’t give up trying to stop him, “If you want to draw pheromones, which way do you want to draw them? With some instrument or a needle?”

“A needle, a 0.7mm injection needle.”

Qi Han frowned, and Chen Xing stared at him and refused, “No way! He has a phobia of sharp things, and needles are even worse!”

He knew exactly what happened to Qi Han in his childhood. Not to mention using a needle, just seeing a needle, he would feel dizzy, vomit, go crazy, and go into shock on the spot in severe cases.

“No anaesthesia is allowed, right?” Qi Han asked, clenching his fists, his mind already starting to visualise Fu Zhenying’s horrible face when he stabbed the inhibitor into his chest.

The doctor shook his head, “Anesthesia will deactivate the pheromones that are extracted.”

Qi Han’s back stiffened; he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, “Arrange it.”

The process of extracting pheromones was much more painful than expected.

First, an instrument that resembled a large stapler was used to make an incision under the gland, and two steel staples clamped the tube in the wound.

As the ”stapler” continued to advance, the tube also drilled through the flesh, moving slowly until it reached the point. The tube was dislodged into the flesh and the stapler with the staples drilled out from the other side.

However, to bury the tube was only the first step.

Chen Xing already felt creeped out just by watching the video.

“I say, man, it’s not too late to regret it now. Let alone you, even I can’t stand this thing.”

Qi Han took a roll of gauze and clenched his teeth on it, “Begin.”


As soon as a thick needle pierced his skin, he started trembling all over. His spasming fingers grasped the sheets and a layer of bean-sized sweat drops seeped from his forehead.

“No, don’t—”

As the steel needle and tube dug into his flesh, the Alpha shuddered violently. The feeling of the needle, similar to that of the inhibitor injected into his veins, instantly sent him back to the nightmare at the age of fourteen. The scene in his mind suddenly split in two halves. Half of it was his father dying a horrible death before his eyes and half of it was the endless needle torture.

“Ugh! No— Don’t come over… don’t come over, don’t inject me!” He rolled his eyes and choked, his whole face turning red to the colour of pig’s liver, his mouth crooked and foaming, as if he was about to go into shock.

The doctor was startled, “What’s wrong with the patient?”

“Don’t!” Chen Xing pressed his shoulder, his eyes red, “Don’t stop, don’t drag it out, move quickly.”

The doctor hesitated for a couple of seconds and quickly pushed the “stapler” to the end forcefully, but to his surprise, Qi Han suddenly got up, raised his head abruptly and roared like a madman as he broke free from his restraints and fell on the floor.

With a snap the tube and staples popped out of the skin at the back of his neck, and blood flowed in a stream.

He kept vomiting, crouching on the floor, and what little food was left in his stomach came out with a flow of acid.

Blood, tears, sweat and vomit stuck to his shirt; for the first time, the decisive and powerful President Qi was in this state of distress.

“Is there… any restraint belt, tie me up…” he said, straining his vocal cords.

Chen Xing suspected he had auditory hallucinations. “Still want to continue? Still fucking want to continue? You’re sick in the head, no more, no more! Arrange for Fu Ge’s surgery! Once and for all!”

Qi Han closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, he grabbed Chen Xing by the shoulders and dragged him straight outside.

The level suppression was there, and even if Qi Han was weak like this Chen Xing couldn’t resist him in the slightest.

“Brother Qi… Qi Han!” Furious, he twisted the door handle, “You fucking open the door for me! Don’t fucking do it, you fucking idiot!”

With a bang, Qi Han yanked the door handle out of the socket, and the door could no longer be opened.

He turned around, covering the gauze on the back of his neck with one hand and holding the door handle in the other, “Sorry, I’ll take care of the door, or—”

Looking up at the doctor who didn’t dare to do anything, he said with a thin smile, “Do you need my help to apply for repair?”

The doctor’s shoulders shook and he said with trepidation, “President Qi, please, please come and sit down.”

His hands and feet were tied and his eyes were blindfolded. Even normal breathing was a luxury for him.

The first incision for burying the tube collapsed and could no longer be used. Another one could only be made from above the gland. Finally, the tube was buried in, and the 0.7mm needle immediately stuck diagonally into the gland.

There was another extremely depressing muffled moan in the ward. The needle was inserted and extracted quickly, pulled out and moved flat for a few millimetres and inserted again deeper.

This was repeated a dozen times, the needle piercing the gland and turning around until the area was dried up and shrivelled, and only a small tube of pale pink pheromones was extracted.

Qi Han finally rolled off the restraint bed.

He was so weak that he rolled over and fell. The doctor and the nurses rushed to help him. The Alpha’s face was as pale as paper, his lips so dry and cracked that blood oozed out of them, and his eyelids half raised.

Yet the first question that came out of his mouth was, “Is this enough to last him a few days?…”

A few young girls had red eyes at the time and the doctor felt uncomfortable, “It’s only enough for one day… Now you know how painful it is to extract pheromones, and I guess you have some PTSD about needles, so I recommend that you take your mate for surgery. The probability of success is more than 70%.”

Qi Han picked up the tube of pheromones and kissed it, putting it in his pocket very carefully, “My mate can’t bear it.”

He ate three energy bars in a row to replenish his strength a little before he was barely able to stand. After dealing with the wound, he changed his clothes and walked holding onto the wall to the outside of Fu Ge’s ward to look at him through the glass.

The pheromones cannot be injected directly, they have to be mixed with saline and infused into the vein little by little. But in the end, it was not something of his own, and within a short time after the infusion started, Fu Ge began to have a rejection reaction.

There was a rash on his neck, he had difficulty breathing, and his hands were shaking constantly. Qi Han was pacing outside anxiously, not daring to go in, so he could only call the doctor quickly.

“It’s just a slight rejection reaction. This medicine is precious and will run out soon, try to bear with it.”

Fu Ge struggled to breathe for more than a minute when he heard it, but it still didn’t work, he couldn’t stand the feeling of suffocation and his heart was beating faster and faster.

“Doctor, can you… stop for a while, it’s too uncomfortable…”

“Told you to bear with it.” A young nurse who had witnessed Qi Han’s pheromone extraction couldn’t help but feel sorry for Qi Han. “Why to be so pretentious, this is your Alpha giving up half of his life to extract—”

“Shut up!”


Two voices sounded simultaneously from inside and outside the door, and Fu Ge instantly locked eyes with Qi Han, seeing the gauze wrapped around the back of his neck and his pale face, and figuring out everything.

“You extracted that?” He asked dully, “Is it… your pheromones?”

“Listen to what she said,” Qi Han managed a smile, “If you feel uncomfortable, just bear with it first, okay? Or let’s slow down the flow, this is the only medicine for today, we need to conserve the resources.”

Fu Ge lowered his eyes and looked at his fingers, “Does it hurt to extract pheromones?”

After he was stunned for a few seconds, Qi Han’s eyes slowly reddened, as if he was a child who hid in a corner to secretly wipe his tears and finally had an adult’s pity. 

He turned his head and blinked quickly, exhaling a sigh of relief, originally wanting to say lightly that it didn’t hurt. But looking at Fu Ge’s head that was always lowered, he suddenly had a childish impulse.

He wanted Fu Ge to feel a little sorry for him, to linger on him for two or three more seconds, even if it was only to look at him less disgustedly.

“It hurts a little, not too good… Xiao Ge, can you bear with the infusion, okay?”

Fu Ge got up and got out of bed, stood next to the infusion stand and asked dumbly, “You want to use it to save me?”

“I…” Qi Han was a bit at a loss for words, not knowing what to think. He hurriedly explained, “I don’t want to use it to tie you up or make you forgive me, this is just to cure your illness, I’m not—”

His voice stopped abruptly. Qi Han watched Fu Ge pull out the tube of pheromones from the medicine dispenser. With a flick of his wrist, the pale pink liquid fell to the ground.

Fu Ge turned to him and looked at him calmly: “Now you want to make amends, but what were you doing when I was worse than dead?”

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2 thoughts on “Pain Fetish Chapter 19

  1. Where is the appointment to the psychiatrist? Why are they not taking professional help? Why these doctors & nurses didn’t say a word about their mental problems?

    1. When I translated, it often crossed my mind that the world in the book is actually not our world with ABO genders, it is a world that is different in more aspects. It’s more brutal, discriminating, much less democratic and pretty retarded in some fields. Much later there is a scene where characters discuss help for mental problems, and the means of that “help” are quite nightmarish, like something from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. So, the situation can’t be resolved the same way as it could be in our world and our times.

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