Pain Fetish Chapter 1

“That white moonlight of yours is back in the country.”

Qi Han was leaning back on the sofa with his eyes closed when these words sounded in his ears.

He shook himself awake and lowered his eyes to see Fu Ge kneeling between his legs, his soft hair swaying slowly.

Not only had White Moonlight returned, but White Moonlight was kneeling at his feet.


Qi Han asked, holding up his phone, knowing the answer. His other hand rested on the back of the sofa, with the half-burned cigarette in his fingers.

The cold marble floor rubbed Fu Ge’s knees red, his skin grimy and faintly bruised. With a furrowed brow, Qi Han stretched his leather shoes between Fu Ge’s knees and the floor.

Fu Ge raised his eyes blankly, puzzled, but obediently got up and moved over onto the leather shoes.

The next moment, Qi Han’s hand shook, and a bit of ash landed on the side of Fu Ge’s neck, making him moan softly.

Qi Han looked away, “Concentrate.”

“Fu Ge, ah!” The person on the other side of the phone teased, “The little painter you were so obsessed with when you were at school! The young master of the rich family, high above, always ignoring everyone. What, you’ve been simping over him for over a year and don’t remember?”

“Ah, I remember.”

Qi Han’s face was expressionless as he suddenly reached out and pressed his hand against the back of Fu Ge’s neck, the abrupt push forcing him to tilt his head up with his eyes closed and let out a stoic, animal-like sigh.

“Ugh…” The corners of Fu Ge’s eyes and the tip of his nose were red from the smoke and he had to blink hard to clear his vision blurred with hot tears.

When he raised his head, he saw Qi Han’s slowly rolling Adam’s apple, the fierce and tight jawline, and further down, his well-made, exquisitely tailored suit, so tight that not a single crease could be found, while he himself cut such a sorry figure, wearing only a necktie.

The contrast was stark, the difference in status obvious.

Noticing his distraction, Qi Han lowered his eyes in dissatisfaction, and Fu Ge quickly concentrated on his task, but his shoulder was suddenly squeezed.

“Do you want to talk to your old classmate?” Qi Han asked.

Fu Ge thought for half a minute but couldn’t find a figure of an old classmate in his vague memory. He shook his head and pursed his lips stiffly. Even his pleasing gestures seemed rigid.

“May I continue, sir?” He asked in a very small voice.

Qi Han looked at him condescendingly and said, “You may.”

The person on the other side of the phone naturally couldn’t hear what happened on their side, clicking his tongue and reminiscing about the past: “You were chasing him like crazy back then, you wanted the whole school to know that you were Young Master Fu’s number one simp. Hey, I heard that you went to Litang after graduating from high school. Fuck, Brother Qi, didn’t you succeed? He’s harder to chase than a heavenly being.”


Qi Han raised the cigarette to his lips, squinted and took a puff.

The dry, strong taste of tobacco rolled through his throat, only to be exhaled in a few wisps of thick white smoke.

Like a sea of white clouds rising from under the hooves of horses on the sacred mountain of Zhaga…

Qi Han still remembered the spectacular horse race in Litang five years ago.

It was the gift Fu Ge personally gave him, the day after he had accepted his confession.

Litang is known as the world’s highest town, nearly 4,000 metres above sea level, backed by snow-capped mountains covered in coniferous forests. Before the sunset, the colourful evening sun spread across the dome of the sky like a great fire, burning the mountains, sweeping towards you from the distant skyline.

Beneath such a heavenly canopy Fu Ge galloped, with an eagle flying low over his head and a neighing horse under him.

Holding the reins with one hand, he broke through the twenty-two prayer flags signifying good luck and well-being, the only Beta rider on the track, shuttling between countless strong Khampa men, the first to reach the finish line.

With the front hooves of his horse raised and its head tilted towards the sky, the young Beta smiled and tightened the reins before turning his head to look at Qi Han.

With just that one look, the so-called “City in the Sky” suddenly faded, and the sunset and the snow-capped mountains became Fu Ge’s backdrop.

Qi Han felt that Fu Ge was the most romantic wastrel from Tsangyang Gyatso’s writing. Just a single tousle of his hair raised in the wind would make people chase their dreams all night long, tossing and turning.

Before he went to receive his prize, the young Beta sprinted to him on his horse, his flushed face covered in sweat, excitement and shyness hidden in his eyes.

Qi Han remembered that Fu Ge used his whip to raise his chin at the time, smiling openly and flamboyantly: “Don’t forget what you promised me, if I come first, you will give me a reward.”

Qi Han said “yes” and reached his hand to help him tuck his long hair, still tied with the coloured threads he had braided in with his own hands, behind his ears.

The prize for first place was a navy blue khata, signifying the azure sky above their heads.

The Tibetan who presented the prize explained that Fu Ge was the fastest rider they had ever seen, just like the strongest eagle on the grassland, and that only the blue sky could match him.

Fu Ge was so impressed that he ran towards Qi Han with the khata raised, only to be intercepted by a Tibetan girl halfway.

Qi Han wasn’t the only one captivated by the dazzling young Beta; four or five boys and girls flocked around Fu Ge before he even got off the track, both Alphas and Omegas.

The Alpha girl, who had run fourth in the race, had taken her khata and offered to exchange it with Fu Ge, the traditional form of courtship among them. As long as the other party agreed, it meant they were willing to be mates.

Without any coyness, the young Beta hugged the girl and said, “You are the most beautiful and courageous girl I have ever seen, and it would be an honour to have your affection, but I can’t give you the khata.”

He said that, looking at Qi Han in the distance, his voice as gentle as the calm, clean mist, but every word was firm and strong: “Because I already have my own khyoga.”

The sunset that day seemed to linger for a long time, as if on purpose, and it didn’t fade until Fu Ge and the girl finished hugging.

Qi Han couldn’t hear their conversation, but only saw Fu Ge galloping in the last glimmer of light on the horizon, throwing out the khata the moment he passed by him.

The navy blue scarf wrapped around his neck and Qi Han obediently got onto the horse as the young Beta pulled the reins and turned around, introducing his lover to the mountains and the girl: “Thank you for liking me! But I also have someone I like in my heart.”

That night happened to be the 15th of the month. (lunar month, so it’s full moon)

Fu Ge took him for a long ride, not stopping until it was dark. They lay beside Lake Namtso, the moon overhead like a disc licked by the Moon Rabbit.

Fu Ge was tired of playing and was now quietly enveloped in Qi Han’s arms. There was always a magical quality in him, the ability to switch between a cold snow leopard, a fierce wolf and a clingy cat at will, and in every way he was a delight to watch.

“What reward do you want?” Qi Han asked as he helped him remove the braids on his head.

Fu Ge, in love for the first time, having no skills other than being full of love and bare enthusiasm, only bowed his head to reveal the smooth back of his neck and said, “I don’t have glands, but I want a temporary mark, is that okay?”

Qi Han never expected this to be regarded as a reward. He was stunned for a moment, and finally kissed the back of Fu Ge’s neck lightly.

His fangs pierced the skin violently, and the boiling hot pheromones poured into the two tiny wounds, carried by Fu Ge’s blood to spread through all parts of his body.

Fu Ge was so hot that he was shivering and almost unconscious, yet he still tore off his clothes and begged Qi Han to bite somewhere else.

Qi Han could only kiss his fingers gently and ask ambiguously, “Gege wanted the mark for winning the race. What if he lost?” (Fu Ge is older than Qi Han, that’s why he is “elder brother”; the word “gege” has an intimate/coquettish meaning when there is no blood relationship) 

The young Beta shook his finger and said, “If I lost, I’d use those twenty-two prayer flags to pray for you, for Ah Han to always be safe.”

That night Fu Ge was carried back to his horse by Qi Han.

The number of temporary marks was so great that even Beta without glands reacted. The pheromones of the 3S level Alpha were strong and overbearing, flowing in Fu Ge’s boiling blood, making him soft all over, drifting off to sleep as soon as he got on the horse.

Qi Han hugged him tightly and asked him in passing about the conversation he had with the Tibetan girl during the day.

Fu Ge said, “I told her that you were my khyoga.”

Qi Han barely had a smattering of Tibetan, “What does khyoga mean?”

“Hmm… means ‘boyfriend’, ah.”

Qi Han naturally believed it, and in the next few days he also got used to calling Fu Ge by this word, making Fu Ge blush every time. It was not until Qi Han left Litang that he learned from the owner of the bed-and-breakfast that “khyoga” meant husband.

“Hello? Brother Qi? Brother Qi!”

The shouts of his friend helped him pull his thoughts back to reality. Qi Han responded, only to find that Fu Ge remained in the same position for a while without moving, as if realising that Qi Han was distracted and waiting quietly.

“Very good, move.” He rubbed Fu Ge’s head.

“I succeeded, it was good for a few months,” Qi Han said to his friend.

“Crap, just a few months and you broke up, huh? Who caused the break-up?”

Qi Han lowered his eyes and the force of his hand steeply increased, as if in punishment, “Him.”

“Cough—” Fu Ge closed his eyes tightly, and two trickles of tears immediately dripped down his chin onto Qi Han’s trousers.

Such a picture was really too beautiful.

The small private booth in the bar, the dazzling lights, the cold marble floor, and the naked beauty crouching obediently on the floor with the corners of his mouth reddened.

The visual impact was no less than that of the young Beta’s smile after the Litong horse race, and Qi Han’s breathing was once again chaotic as the unspeakable urge returned.

However, when his friend asked him if he wanted to rekindle his old feelings, what came out of Qi Han’s mouth was the opposite.

“Beta, ah. Bland.”

Fu Ge’s movements lurched, and the hand wiping the corner of his mouth became much more sluggish.

He clenched his fists, and his vacant gaze turned to the floor, counting the number of lines on it, until he counted nineteen, and then he woke up as if from a dream…

It wasn’t Beta who was bland, it was him.

Qi Han didn’t let him “do the job” a second time that night, probably because he felt that his skills were too poor, because he, Beta, was really boring.

Fu Ge wrapped a thin shirt around himself, looked up and noticed that the cigarette in Qi Han’s fingers was close to burning out.

“Your cigarette is about to burn out.” His voice was so small that he couldn’t hear himself.

Qi Han glanced down at him, “Want it?”

Fu Ge was still in a daze, looking at him blankly, as if he didn’t understand.

One was sitting, the other one was kneeling. The Alpha’s legs were slender and strong, the intense pheromones so overbearing that they filled the entire booth without a hint of restraint, even though the Beta couldn’t smell them, let alone perceive them. The natural dominance of the 3S level Alpha over a Beta came from genes and blood, and the mere glance of Qi Han’s eyes was extremely oppressive.

But the more anxious Fu Ge became, the more muddle-headed he was. He couldn’t figure out the Alpha’s intentions for a long time. It wasn’t until Qi Han’s calf touched him that it dawned on him and he blushed slowly.

Qi Han asked, “If you want it, why didn’t you say something?”

Fu Ge’s eyes were already moist as he let out a burning gasp, “No… haven’t noticed myself…”

Qi Han crushed the cigarette butt that was about to burn out with his bare hand, and then quickly shook it, leaving only a trace of residual warmth that couldn’t even count as heat. “Where?” he asked.

Fu Ge glanced at him and raised his head high.

The next second, the cigarette butt pressed against his collarbone.

“Hmm…” The instantaneous slight tingle passed through his skin to his cerebral cortex, and Fu Ge frowned as he began to spasm violently, a hint of pleasure flashing over his face.

However, this intensity was nothing more than a contrast with his usual lifelessness. After two or three seconds, the pain disappeared, and Fu Ge returned to his sluggish appearance.

Only a few drops of sweat sliding from the tip of his nose and a slightly hazy look in his eyes showed what he had just experienced.

Qi Han withdrew his leg, “You’ve soiled my trousers again.”

Fu Ge stood up, wrapping his arms around himself, “I’m sorry, sir.”

“Is that enough?”

“Yes, sir.”

Qi Han didn’t know why a Beta male in his twenties lasted only a few seconds at a time, but he knew it must not be normal.

It took Fu Ge an hour of relentless work to please Qi Han, while Fu Ge needed nothing but a little pain to feel pleasure.

It wasn’t until much later that Qi Han realised that it wasn’t “nothing but”, it was “nothing else”.

Translator’s note: I honestly can’t describe how fucked-up this story is. I posted a review on Novelupdates, please take a look at it and at the tags before you make the decision whether to read it. I can guarantee that if something can traumatise you, this story will.

ToC / Next

6 thoughts on “Pain Fetish Chapter 1

  1. I have read the review on NU and I think… it is time to develop a pain fetish!! I’ve read some wife chasing crematoriums (some with BE) but I think this will be more painful hahah. Thank you for the translation!

    On another note, I thought my mind went to the gutter when I read that he was kneeling on the floor only to discover that I really wasn’t wrong 😀 The last line is filled with knives and makes me stare at the “scientists” and “torture” tag

    1. 🤣🤣🤣
      Thank you! 💕💕💕 I hope the story works for you!
      I don’t like reading about the shou being abused but the gong being abused as a redemption for his sins – oh yes, give me more. Nothing is tastier than a good repentance 😅😅
      With the way everything is censored in Chinese BLs… it seems like if anything sounds ambiguous, it is ambiguous 😅😅

      1. I’m so into gongs suffering and groveling. I want to see a proud man fall on his knees I guess 😂 I’m also curious to see how f’ed-up this story can get! As for the ambiguity, I have learned something new! Trust my instincts!

      2. Ah, you’ve said it so well!!! Me too, I love it! Strangely, husband chasing crematorium never really worked for me 😇😇

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