Ou Renjin originally seemed extremely calm, but when Chen Sui said this, he gasped as if reaching the surface after drowning. It seemed that he had been floating, and only now did he return to the earth.
“Where is he?”
“When you can get out of bed and walk around by yourself, I will show you.” Chen Sui stared at the expression on his face carefully to make sure he didn’t show any signs of physical discomfort.
“I want to see him now.” Ou Renjin narrowed his eyes, “You don’t have to look at me like that. You have known me for more than ten years. I know how to control my emotions.”
In the end, Chen Sui still pushed the wheelchair and took Ou Renjin to the monitor.
On the screen, Ou Shaowen was lying quietly on the hospital bed, his chest covered by a piece of cloth, and countless tubes spread out of his body, entangled with the equipment as if he was wrapped in a huge cocoon. His face was pale, and it was impossible to tell if he was still breathing.
Ou Renjin’s pupils suddenly shrunk. He lowered his head, and made a short gasp.
“Do you remember what he told you before that his organs can grow again after they are removed? We didn’t believe it at the time, but now it turns out that his heart is indeed showing signs of regrowth.”
“Didn’t believe it?” Ou Renjin raised his head, his eyes actually looking hateful, “So you didn’t believe it, but you still did something like this. You’re a doctor, does murder feel very cool? Does it make you feel excited?”
Chen Sui shuddered suddenly, as if a needle had been stuck hard in his heart. He opened his mouth, but didn’t say anything.
In this matter, he was indeed an accomplice.
If Ou Shaowen didn’t survive in the end, he would be brooding over it for the rest of his life.
Ou Renjin glanced at the monitor again. His eyes were dull, and he looked cold and ruthless. “There are always some fools in this world who like to do things that can only be moving for themselves and can’t move others.“ He emphasised, saying word by word, “I don’t appreciate it at all.”
After speaking, he turned the wheelchair and went back. Chen Sui was stunned for a while but then stepped forward and pushed the wheelchair.
Back in the ward, Chen Sui watched Ou Renjin sit back on the bed and lie down. He said a few words of advice, but Ou Renjin didn’t respond, so he could only leave. He went to the nurse station to remind them to pay more attention to Ou Renjin’s condition.
Finally left alone, Ou Renjin pressed his palm against his chest. The wound continued to hurt. He closed his eyes, and tears flowed down his temples.
How could it hurt like this!
He never thought that the pain could be this extreme, as if his heart had been put into a meat grinder, split into fragments piece by piece, and his soul was floating in the sky, numb.
He tried to suppress his emotions, but still let a whimper escape his throat.
When did Ou Shaowen make this decision? Did it start from the last time he missed the heart donation because of a fever? That was why he asked to make a bucket list; that was why he wanted to marry him so much, asking him over and over again; that was why he specifically asked to film his face when he vlogged with him.
Was he spending time with him in such a mood?
He thought he was cooperating with Ou Shaowen and trying hard to live the present without tomorrow, but in the end it was Ou Shaowen who was cherishing every day he stole with the belief that he would die.
Do you have to make it… so bloody and sad?
That’s great, that’s awesome!
It turned out that to stick a knife into his palm was really nothing. No wonder he behaved so casually. Because for him, cutting out his heart was normal.
So what was the point of letting him into the entertainment industry, of picking a group, of giving him love and attention every day, of making every effort to change him?
What about his self-righteous threats that if he hurt himself again, he would follow suit?
He thought he was his shackles, only to find out that he was nothing.
Ou Shaowen aroused his competitive spirit, only to give him a resounding defeat.
A defeat to be remembered for the rest of his life.
In Ou Renjin’s mind, all the emotions were mixed together, painful, angry and regretful, and finally evolved into a deep self-loathing.
It was like this again.
He felt ridiculous and absurd, just like when people told him, look how great your parents were, they fought to protect you in the car crash, so you have to live well so that they can have some comfort in heaven.
No one ever asked him if he would like to live like this, and no one ever asked him if he could calmly accept this life-for-life trade.
Some people always think they are doing something for your own good, but they don’t know if you are willing to accept their good intentions. Why did such people always come his way? Why did he have to appear in these people’s lives? What wrong did these people do in their previous lives that the gods sent him to punish them?
He covered his eyes and laughed softly.
Life was really absurd. Ou Shaowen was also absurd. And Ou Renjin was the most absurd of all.
If Ou Shaowen didn’t survive, then his life would be exchanged for three lives. How noble does he have to live to repay these three lives?
He can’t repay them, he really… can’t repay them.
Ou Renjin sat up and turned his head. On the coffee table in front of the sofa not far away, there was Xiao Liu’s knife that he used to cut the fruit.
His whole world seemed to be blurred into a misty background, except for the knife, which seemed to be so clear from so far away. He slowly moved to the side of the bed, stood up, holding on the edge of the bed, then walked step by step in the direction of the coffee table, finally reaching out and holding the knife in the palm of his hand.
As he placed the knife against his chest, his mind was still wondering what kind of mood Ou Shaowen was in when he was lying on the operating table. Did he worry, did he think about what his reaction would be when he knew the truth?
Did he truly believe that his previous threats were impossible to come true at all?
After Ou Shaowen lay in the intensive care unit for more than a month, he finally woke up. A strange young doctor was writing something with his head down in front of the equipment by his side.
“You…” He opened his mouth, his voice hoarse beyond words.
“You actually woke up.” Eric didn’t expect him to wake up so early. He exclaimed something in English and immediately switched to Chinese.
He poured a glass of water and spooned it into his mouth, “You can moisten your throat first.”
After a few spoonfuls, he stopped feeding him water, really only letting him moisten his throat.
Ou Shaowen’s mind was so muddled that for a moment he even thought he was still in the laboratory. It was only when he curled his fingers in pain and bent his knees gently and realised that he was not securely confined that all his memories came back in a flash.
His expression immediately became anxious, and he asked, “Ou Renjin… the one who got my heart transplanted, is he okay? Was the operation successful?”
Eric shook his head quite indifferently, “Sorry, I don’t know, I have been taking care of you in the ICU for more than a month.”
As he said that, he glanced at the instrument on the side again, “It’s okay, your current condition is getting better day by day. It’s really surprising. In less than half a month, you will be able to have another operation to take these artificial blood vessels and artificial heart off you. Then you can go see your lover by yourself.”
Ou Shaowen was anxious, eager to know Ou Renjin’s current situation, so he opened his eyes wide and begged: “Can you help me inquire about him? I want to know if he is healthy now, please.”
“Okay, I will.” When he was about to go out for lunch at noon, he would ask Guan Qijun by the way. Guan Qijun should know the most accurate news, although they hadn’t had contact for more than a month.
At noon, he quickly grabbed the lunch box while calling Guan Qijun, and asked directly: “I need to ask you something. The miracle in the ICU has already woken up and asked me to ask about the recipient of his heart transplant. With such a magical heart, I think the other party should be quite healthy, right?”
After listening to him, Guan Qijun was silent on the other end of the phone for a long time, “Just tell him that the heart operation was very successful then.”
Eric heard something wrong with his tone, “What do you mean? The operation was very successful then, so what about now?”
“Now…” Guan Qijun’s pause lasted for a long time, and Eric even wondered if he had heard a hint of crying.
“Now… what’s the matter?”
As soon as he asked, he heard Guan Qijun crying uncontrollably on the other end of the phone. They had met when they were studying and this was the first time Eric heard him cry in all these years.
Eric’s lips moved without making any sound. He listened to Guan Qijun cry in silence for more than ten minutes, and then Guan Qijun seemed to have finally adjusted his emotions and repeated to him hoarsely, “Just tell him that the operation was very successful.”
“…fine.” Eric was not in the mood to eat the remaining half of the lunch anymore.
Eric stood in the disinfection room in front of the ICU, adjusting the expression on his face slightly. Fortunately, he was wearing full-body protective clothing, and he shouldn’t be able to show any expression.
Then, he walked in. Ou Shaowen heard the movement, and his eyes immediately turned to his face.
“The heart transplant was very successful, don’t worry.”
Ou Shaowen breathed a sigh of relief, smiled at him, and whispered “Thank you.”
Knowing this news, the remaining half a month was not difficult at all. This was even the most comfortable and enjoyable half a month after so many heart transplants in his life.
The big stone in his heart had finally fallen to the ground, Ou Renjin was fine and so was he, so it was the best ending. In the future, they could go wherever they wanted and do whatever they wanted without worry, happy every day.
Ou Renjin could come to his concerts and never feel uncomfortable because of the noise. They could go hiking together, go to the amusement park together, do exciting things that they couldn’t do before, and run and play in the rain together.
The performance of his heart was very good. Most of the recipients were able to return to the life of normal people, and some could even be healthier than normal people.
He spent the last half a month of his heart’s growth like that, imagining things they would do, and then had another surgery. This time he woke up quickly and, in hindsight, asked Dr. Chen who came to see him.
“Where’s Ou Renjin? Why didn’t he come to see me?”