“Yes, I don’t need your gifts, and Aunt Zhou and Uncle Li likewise don’t need them.”
Ou Shaowen raised his eyebrows and looked at him suspiciously, “But you’re not them, how do you know they don’t need them?”
Ou Renjin held back the emotions in his heart. He felt that his mask of gentleness and consideration was about to crack inch by inch, “Then why do you think they both treat you so well? Because you are you? No, it’s because you’re someone I brought home. They were hired by me, get the salary from me, do the jobs I entrust them to do and look after the people I tell them to look after. That’s all.”
His expression was cold, and there was obvious malice in his words as if he wanted to destroy something.
Ou Shaowen was silent for a moment, looking at Ou Renjin’s slightly furrowed brow and thinking that he seemed to have made him angry again. These days, Ou Renjin always seemed to be angry with him. He was unable to bring him happiness and could only ruin his otherwise fairly peaceful mood time and time again.
Thinking like this, he spoke directly, “You don’t like me, do you? You don’t like anything I do. You don’t like me talking to you a lot, you don’t like me buying you gifts. I can’t do anything for you, I can’t make you happy, I can’t make you money, I accept your kindness unilaterally every day. I accept the happiness you bring me, you let Aunt Zhou and Uncle Li take care of me so well, but I can only eat and drink, spend your money and cause you trouble once in a while, so… why do you keep me? If my existence doesn’t bring you happiness, why do you let me exist?”
Some of Ou Shaowen’s thoughts had changed rapidly due to the impact of the external environment, but there were also some ideas that many years of day-to-day experience made deeply rooted in his consciousness, that became part of his personality. Among them, the most unshakable view was that if value couldn’t be created, there was no meaning in existence.
Just like with the things that he had learnt; there was no point in learning any more because there was no way to create value.
Every day, every morning when he woke up in his soft comfortable bed, he would think about this question: why? Why did Ou Renjin keep him around? And what could he do for him, what value did he have?
He looked into Ou Renjin’s eyes and suddenly wanted to have surgery quickly. This was originally the meaning of his existence, and it was the only thing he could do for Ou Renjin. This person was so kind to him, so good that he began to feel that he was an individual, not an object. If he was a human being, there would be some desires, some joys and sorrows. After he had met such a good person, experienced such a happy and quiet life, when returned to the days when he was static and seemed to be an object, could he persevere day by day as usual?
Ou Shaowen’s tone was very calm. It was a tone that was merely stating the truth, not grievances.
Ou Renjin looked into his eyes, which were like an ancient pond that could not be seen through, and suddenly realised that something was wrong with him. He was tolerant of many odd little quirks and tantrums of his young lovers, and in front of them he always seemed to be gentle, easily persuaded and gentlemanly. He was kind to everyone but Ou Shaowen.
He carried his surname, he was named by him. He was ignorant and had to be dragged through the world by him, he had no branch to cling to but could only be sheltered by him. Maybe that’s why in his mind, he subconsciously felt that Ou Shaowen was too easy to bully?
Like it was okay to bully him.
“Who said I didn’t like you?” He calmed down, as if again becoming the man with a gentle smile on his lips who could talk about love, “I like you.”
He recalled Ou Shaowen’s long passage just now, and suddenly felt some amusement and an unprecedented sense of pity, and thought he could empathise with the young man when he uttered those words. “Someone who likes you doesn’t need you to buy a gift to like you. Happiness is not the only emotion that people will never forget. Feelings are very complicated,” he said in a meaningful tone, as if guiding someone across a bridge. “It is because I like you that I’m angry with you. Otherwise, you’re just a stranger who can’t touch my emotions. Besides, who says you don’t bring me joy? Many times I can’t help but laugh out loud whenever I think of you, but you don’t know that either.”
Ou Renjin felt that he had been too uncommitted to this new game he had started, and it was his dereliction that made the poor boy ask “You don’t like me, do you?”
For the first time in his life, Ou Shaowen heard this kind of thing. He didn’t know what was wrong with him. He felt that his brain was blank, his heart was beating a little fast, and he could only look at Ou Renjin without blinking. How can there be things in the world that make people so happy to hear, and how can this person say such things so easily?
He couldn’t say a word.
When Ou Renjin brought him back to the villa, holding his hand, Ou Shaowen’s head was still dizzy. Ou Renjin told Aunt Zhou about his cute and naive thoughts in front of him, “This kid participated in the show today and got a prize of 100,000 yuan. All the other stars donate it. He didn’t want to donate, saying that he wanted to keep the money for you and Uncle Li to buy jade and a car!”
“Aiya, this kid, why is he so stupid!” Aunt Zhou’s mouth was full of complaints, but her face was all smiles, “You can keep your own money, why do you always think of giving it away? My daughter will naturally buy me jade. Uncle Li doesn’t need your money either, you can just take care of yourself. Such a young kid, you don’t even have much savings, why are you so generous!”
“Hear that?” Ou Renjin turned around and patted his head, “I am their boss, and I will naturally be responsible for the welfare of my employees. No need for you to worry about it.”
“Got it.” Ou Shaowen nodded slowly.
“Aunt Zhou, you can clean up my room, I won’t be going back tonight.”
“Hey, good!” Aunt Zhou was taken aback and then nodded quickly. President Ou hadn’t stayed over for a long time. Xiao Wen was really attractive, such a cute kid, no wonder President Ou liked him. If she had such a son, she would probably wake up from her dreams with a smile.
Ou Shaowen turned his head to look at Ou Renjin, and suddenly took two steps forward and hugged him.
“What’s the matter?” Ou Renjin laughed.
But Ou Shaowen didn’t say anything, he just shook his head, brewing for a long time before finally opening his mouth, “I like you too, I like you so much, every time I think of you, I can’t help but laugh out loud.”
He racked his brain to add a few words that Ou Renjin hadn’t said, “I want to be good and nice to you, to do everything I can for you, to give you everything you want, to…” He lowered his voice and whispered in Ou Renjin’s ear, “I want to cut out my heart and give it to you.”
Ou Renjin’s body suddenly stiffened for a moment, and Ou Shaowen’s voice seemed to vibrate from his eardrums all the way to his heart. He froze for a long time, looked down and said in a low voice: “If you give me your heart, you won’t have it, so what will you do?”
“It’s okay, it will grow back.” Ou Shaowen’s tone was excited and a little proud, “It will grow back again soon, maybe… in two months or so? By then, it will be a full and complete heart again.”
As expected, he was still a child, and his love talk was childish and sweet.
Ou Renjin, in some mood that he himself couldn’t figure out, responded to these sweet words, “Okay, I’ll be waiting for you to cut out your heart and give it to me.”
“Yes.” Ou Shaowen nodded heavily, feeling that he had already made an appointment. Now, he would just wait for Ou Renjin to arrange the time.
After taking a shower, he was a little too excited to sleep when he thought that Ou Renjin was in the room next to him. He sat there thinking about it until his hair naturally dried, and finally went to the next door and knocked gently.
As soon as Ou Renjin opened the door, he was suddenly pounced on. He took a few steps back to stabilise his body and gasped, a little short of breath, “What’s the matter?”
“Can I sleep with you?” Ou Shaowen’s eyes are shining like the Milky Way in the sky.
“No way.” Ou Renjin pulled him off. His sudden enthusiasm was a little overwhelming, “I sleep very lightly and I’m not used to having someone next to me, I’ll wake up easily.”
“Then can I go and find Aunt Zhou to sleep with her?” Ou Shaowen didn’t dwell on it and immediately changed his goal, “I read a book today where the main character slept with someone in his arms every day. I want to try it too, I’ve never slept with someone before, can I go to Aunt Zhou? Does she sleep lightly too?”
Ou Renjin: “……”
“Forget it, come over and bring your quilt.”